This will end in heartbreak for me won’t it?

[welshandconfused]

I’m separated from my husband and have a 3 year old DS. I met a guy before Christmas who’s 12 years younger than me (I’m 39) and we’ve been seeing each other since.

Last week we started to have the conversation about what was going on between us and he said he sees me as a good friend he enjoys having sex with. The things he’s said and done are not consistent with this e.g.

He messages me “Good morning beautiful” every morning and keeps in touch during the day.
He says he loves spending time with me and I make him happy.
He says he’s having the best sex of his life with me.
He comes over to my house and cooks dinner, we snuggle up on the sofa and chat a lot.
He’s always suggesting things to do together in the future e.g. in the summer and for his birthday in September.
He wants us to be exclusive.

However, despite all of the above he is also saying he doesn’t want anything long term… I’m still married and I’ve told him I have no intention of jumping into anything like that again, I’m certainly not looking for a stepdad for DS (who he hasn’t met) at such an early stage.

I always thought ‘friends with benefits’ (which is what he seems to think this is) didn’t include all the emotional attachment and affection we have for each other.

I can’t work out what’s going on with him. All the signs up until this week point towards him liking me a lot, but now I’m really confused and don’t know what to do next

Be careful not to lose time hoping
Hoping he falls in love
Hoping things change

Accept it for what it is , enjoy it for what it is
But look after yourself

He'll try and talk you round ...

Done it. We had a good chat and did actually sound pretty rough so he was being honest about being unwell. Will post more when I’ve had time to mull it over

@Successgirl2022

I've always known that FWBs would NEVER work for me personally,

It's ALL or nothing for me.

I’ve come to the conclusion this is how I feel about relationships too

Well done OP. Sounds like you handled it well

He was upset but took it really well. He said I was a Wonder Woman (I have WW pyjamas - from Sainsbury’s if anyone is interested!) and he’d had an amazing few months spending time with me. He respects my decision and didn’t try to talk me round. I tried not to but had a little cry and he said he was sorry he’d hurt me because he likes me so much.

He even admitted he’d realised he’d been sending me mixed messages and was very apologetic about that. Said he could see why it appeared to be more than FWB after reading back through his messages to me.

So that’s it really. I will miss him but have so much to do for myself now and some amazing friends who I’m sure will help put me back together again.

The best thing about this is my ego has been well and truly boosted! After my marriage ending I felt really unattractive and unwanted but he changed that so some good has definitely come of it

I think you've done the right thing for you.
Good luck. Spend time with your friends.

Well done OP. You're self esteem will further go up when you realise you wanted a man but chose tonl walk away because he couldn't give you what you need. That's so empowering.

I think you're gonna be ok @welshandconfused

welshandconfused

Onwards babe ! You have to get under one to get over one , and it’s great you feel sexual and desirable again
Let the bruises heal and agree you handled this great

Feeling a bit fragile today and didn’t sleep too well. Busy at work though so don’t have much time to think about it.

Have also arranged a night out this weekend with an old friend from school, so I’m looking forward to that

@welshandconfused

He was upset but took it really well. He said I was a Wonder Woman (I have WW pyjamas - from Sainsbury’s if anyone is interested!) and he’d had an amazing few months spending time with me. He respects my decision and didn’t try to talk me round. I tried not to but had a little cry and he said he was sorry he’d hurt me because he likes me so much.

He even admitted he’d realised he’d been sending me mixed messages and was very apologetic about that. Said he could see why it appeared to be more than FWB after reading back through his messages to me.

So that’s it really. I will miss him but have so much to do for myself now and some amazing friends who I’m sure will help put me back together again.

The best thing about this is my ego has been well and truly boosted! After my marriage ending I felt really unattractive and unwanted but he changed that so some good has definitely come of it

He even admitted he’d realised he’d been sending me mixed messages and was very apologetic about that Yes they always are after the event. I was told he had got carried away and said things he shouldn't have. You will survive and remember it as an interesting sexy interlude. You really did the right thing as he would have dumped you eventually due to you wanting more. You came out on top!