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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband has decreed that...

625 replies

Bogiesaremyonlyfriend · 01/04/2022 11:11

... he is far too important to carry a house key any more. This means apparently, that I am now responsible for ensuring he is not locked out the house ever. If I have the audacity to not be in when he requires to be let in, I have to ensure a key is left in a safe location and that he is informed of this. Also, if he leaves for work, often at 5/6 am, the house will remain unlocked until I drag my lazy ass out of bed to either lock the door or get up for the day.... or we get burgled! Honestly, I wish this was an april fool's....

OP posts:
EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 01/04/2022 13:41

Op if you haven't already, I'd do a credit check on your own name, a full one. You already know he's fraudulently bought a house and taken a mortgage in your name. He could have done other shady shit too.

Original poster
Bogiesaremyonlyfriend · 01/04/2022 13:44

I'm currently in my jogging pants. Although he is not here to be repulsed by them, I wont change them on his return. He will comment and moan, but I wont care.

He has just text me to tell me to put some money in the bank and to go get a key cut for him (sadly not a house key for him to take around with him). He said "I want the receipt emailing to me" I replied "dont think the key place email out receipts" he wasnt happy called me a "fucking comedian". I asked what account should the money be paid into, he said any I'd fine. So mine it is....

OP posts:
newbiename · 01/04/2022 13:44

@MorningSicknessIsHell

Pin pad. Life saver!

Neither of us worry about keys now :)

Little bit more to it now
Original poster
Bogiesaremyonlyfriend · 01/04/2022 13:46

@Cocomarine

I’m glad you’re nearly out of this. Warning on the mortgage though… he set that all up, yes? You just had to sign? If the intention was to let it out, has he (you) applied for a BTL? If so, that’s a fraudulent application if you choose to live in it. So once you’re in, I’d get straight onto the lender about an unexpected relationship breakdown and to change the mortgage basis. Keep in mind that the BTL rate may be lower, so if you’ve based being able to afford the repayments on that, you may need to look carefully at this.
Yes I will change it asap. I read I couldnt live in it, but can get it changed and then move in once its sorted.
OP posts:
NdefH81 · 01/04/2022 13:47

Well, what you do have in your favour is that he’s obviously as thick as shit and naive.

He’s just put a property entirely in your name. Confused

OurChristmasMiracle · 01/04/2022 13:47

@Bogiesaremyonlyfriend

Well done on buying a property in your own name!! And soon you will be free of him. Personally knowing I was soon to be free I would pander to him and then when I’ve left I would await the phone call to let him in and say “oh I’ve left you, the key is with the solicitor at x along with the divorce papers. Bye”

Original poster
Bogiesaremyonlyfriend · 01/04/2022 13:48

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation

Op if you haven't already, I'd do a credit check on your own name, a full one. You already know he's fraudulently bought a house and taken a mortgage in your name. He could have done other shady shit too.
Thanks, yes I've got an Experian account after he took out a loan in my name, and currently dont have anything else unexpected
OP posts:
NdefH81 · 01/04/2022 13:48

And changing a BTL mortgage that has been agreed and signed and presumably a fixed rate for a set period…
Will incur significant charges

JemimaTiggywinkle · 01/04/2022 13:50

Stay safe OP

NdefH81 · 01/04/2022 13:51

And you need to ensure that you’ll be able to afford that mortgage in your own right

So the new property, if in your name only - what equity was used?

NdefH81 · 01/04/2022 13:51

What deposit was put down on the new property?

NdefH81 · 01/04/2022 13:53

This house purchase gets more and more odd
He bought a property but put it entirely in your name even though no financial benefit to this whatsoever ie you still paid stamp duty

He’s arranged a buy to let mortgage. He would have had to have put down a very sizeable deposit. Where was this from? As you don’t own current property, any equity couldn’t have been used.

PriestessofPing · 01/04/2022 13:54

I’m glad you are making plans to get out, he sounds absolutely unbelievable.

dreamkitchenhelp · 01/04/2022 13:55

You are amazing x

Original poster
Bogiesaremyonlyfriend · 01/04/2022 13:56

@NdefH81

What deposit was put down on the new property?
Deposit was gifted from him to me have sent off the paperwork to confirm this and have copies saved. Does sound complicated. Maybe I need to stop worrying myself about getting another house and just kick him the hell out of this one. Leave him to deal with the fall out. Not like he can get back in!!
OP posts:
PriestessofPing · 01/04/2022 13:59

Btw I love that you are using humour to get through this. Because he’s ridiculous. I’ve never ever heard of someone deciding they are too important to use a door key. Of course, as you are illustrating, he doesn’t really think that, it’s just more control. Very happy for you that the people my has finally dropped. I hope you can get out quickly.

AlternativePerspective · 01/04/2022 13:59

OP, you need to tread very, very carefully here, and you absolutely shouldn’t be moving into or even completing on this new house.

If he has bought a house in your name, with the mortgage in your name, without your knowledge then that is fraud, and if you go along with it then you are complicit.

What you need to do is to contact the police, then the bank to freeze the mortgage offer,and the estate agent to pull out of the purchase. You absolutely cannot go ahead with this house purchase.

If you’re in a position to then you could re-apply for a residential mortgage in your name, but as things stand you are a party to fraud.

Coffeepot72 · 01/04/2022 14:02

My husband regularly goes out without a door key, but then doesn't blame me if he's locked out.

NdefH81 · 01/04/2022 14:04

So the deposit

He legally “gifted it” to you?

So he really is doubly stupid

He’s given you a property and put down a very sizeable deposit on it - and even legally confirmed that it’s a gift

NdefH81 · 01/04/2022 14:04

This new house situation just gets odder and odder

NdefH81 · 01/04/2022 14:05

@AlternativePerspective

OP, you need to tread very, very carefully here, and you absolutely shouldn’t be moving into or even completing on this new house.

If he has bought a house in your name, with the mortgage in your name, without your knowledge then that is fraud, and if you go along with it then you are complicit.

What you need to do is to contact the police, then the bank to freeze the mortgage offer,and the estate agent to pull out of the purchase. You absolutely cannot go ahead with this house purchase.

If you’re in a position to then you could re-apply for a residential mortgage in your name, but as things stand you are a party to fraud.

It is all very odd

He’s taken out mortgage in her name
But also gifted her the entire deposit legally
And she is the sole owner of the new property

But no financial benefit to him or advantage to it being in her name.
So either he’s very thick or very naive

lborgia · 01/04/2022 14:06

@AlternativePerspective - can you clarify?

He stayed applying for the mortgage alone. At that point it was fraud to use her name.

She's now found out about it and is finishing the process herself in her name. How is that bit fraud?

anon2022anon · 01/04/2022 14:07

Don't worry about the btl side for the time being. If he's gifted you the money and it's a btl, you've more than likely put down a 25% deposit at least. Once you've got your mortgage sorted, you won't hear anything from the mortgage company during your fixed rate period either. Move in, be aware that any insurance is likely to be invalid, and contact them in your own time to change the mortgage over. Youve got a good amount of equity there for a residential mortgage. Good luck.

Nat94 · 01/04/2022 14:08

Surey this is a joke or your husband lacks mental capacity.

RedRobyn2021 · 01/04/2022 14:09

He should get a key box, you know one with a code? Then he can lock up and put them in the box.

It's not reasonable to expect you to be around at his beck and call, he's a grown man 🙄