Is this weird - fiancé and colleague

[jjanice842]

My fiancé is going to his mum’s new holiday home this weekend to do some stuff like cleaning, organising, gardening etc. I’m out with friends and not going. He said he has asked his (female) colleague to go with him for the day. I’ve met her briefly before (she was really nice) she is single and very attractive. I know they are good friends and occasionally meet at lunchtimes during the week (we live not far from each other). I’ve never suspected a thing but the thought of them spending a day together a few hours away feels a bit odd. Should I be worried?

I'm pretty chilled as they go and I wouldn't be happy about this

Completely agree men and women can be friends- but there has to be some boundaries

I wouldn't be comfortable with this tbh

Genuinely impossible to know OP. There will be people coming on here to tell you that they have male friends and their partners have female friends and its all above board and 'you either trust him or you don't'. But the fact is, people do have affairs with their attractive colleagues. Is your fiance attractive too?

I would not be comfortable either

That's turning a work colleague/friend into something more.

Yeah that is on another level. Would he be happy if you did the same? Ask him? And no I would not be happy either

If you need to ask it is not a great idea, and I wouldn't be happy with it either

Now I'd definitely be questioning those previous lunch dates! Keep your eyes open from now on

Does ‘for the day’ include overnight? Do you trust them both? Does he really need the help?

I actually think I trust the woman more than my fiancé (I do trust him, I just mean I think she’s the less likely one to initiate anything I think). He doesn’t have a problem with me meeting my male friend from home when I visit family, although he’s usually with me as he comes too. I just feel a bit odd about it because she’s definitely more attractive than me and a really chatty, outgoing woman (I’m quieter). I sort of wonder why she’s said yes to going in a way - although I know they get on really well and have same sense of humour etc.

No, no overnight! Down for day and back (she has a kid)

Well, yes?

Very odd

I think it’s a bit strange to be honest,

I would find it hard to convince my lifelong friends to spend a off day cleaning my mother's holiday home, so I'd be bemused if my DH had managed to convince a colleague to do so!

Odd.

A day away in a holiday home? Hmm I wouldn’t be keen myself.

What’s in it for her if it’s genuinely cleaning and gardening?

OMG no way that is so odd. Red flags or what, why does she need to go? I think you should agree to it and then turn up unannounced to see if he’s up to anything.

If she’s very attractive, he will def fancy her. In my experience, men don’t bother with close relationships with women unless there is an element of attraction. And he’s bringing her into a family home. A colleague. Well, she’s more than just a colleague - a close friend?

Sorry OP, I don’t want to upset you. I’m validating and acknowledging your feelings.

It doesn’t feel right because it isn’t right.

Nothing may be happening, and it may entirely be innocent on both sides right now. But there’s potential for it to develop.

I don’t have a solution. But how you are feeling is how anyone else would be feeling.

Definitely would big be comfortable with that! Very weird.
I agree with pp, turn up and say you thought you'd help or something

I would not be happy with that also as seems a bit weird. Different if they have lunch now and again at work but this is overstepping this. Have you spent much time with her and how long have they known each other. Do you have reason not to trust him? You obviously are not happy with it or else you would not be posting on here. No doubt if you mention it to him he will turn it back on you saying you are insecure. How would he feel if you were doing the same with a male colleague.

Weird that he needs a female to help. Is he not capable and if it takes two does one have to have a vagina?

Is she taking her child?

Is she a gardening enthusiast? Might make sense if she has an interest in the actual gardening side/ expertise? Or maybe she doesn’t have a garden of her own and nice opportunity to take her child with her for a run round somewhere new?

I’ve not had any reason not to trust either of them. I know they occasionally meet for a lunchtime walk at the park near us (totally fine, must be a killer stuck in the house all day for work) and they’ve socialised a few times with other colleagues out drinking. Last time they were out I know it was just the two of them at the end of the night as everyone else had gone home (they all had further to travel) and her and fiancé stayed out another hour or two. I actually dropped her off home after (that’s when I met her) as she had dropped fiancé off a previous social time. I’m just not sure. She certainly hasn’t given me anything to be suspicious about and strikes me as someone with strong values (I know she had a horrible time with her ex husband) but I worry a bit about my fiancé being attracted to her because she is attractive. They share loads of interests and have been good friends for about a year, colleagues for a bit longer

No the child isn’t going