Is this weird - fiancé and colleague

[jjanice842]

My fiancé is going to his mum’s new holiday home this weekend to do some stuff like cleaning, organising, gardening etc. I’m out with friends and not going. He said he has asked his (female) colleague to go with him for the day. I’ve met her briefly before (she was really nice) she is single and very attractive. I know they are good friends and occasionally meet at lunchtimes during the week (we live not far from each other). I’ve never suspected a thing but the thought of them spending a day together a few hours away feels a bit odd. Should I be worried?

So your fiancé has asked a friend to help him sort his parents holiday home? What’s the big deal? Maybe she has skills in DIY or gardening and would be useful.

This place feels full of insecure little housewives sometimes.

Yeah I think she is quite good at house stuff and they both like gardening - I’m hopeless! You’re right - that’s probably all it is

Would not bother me in the slightest. Alot of my friends are male. I socialise with them without Dp. Dp has met most but not all of them. It would not bother me in the slightest if dp wanted to socialise with a female friend at all, she might be as good at diy as any of his male friends 🤷‍♀️

Yeah, this would be a step too far for me.

He’s not hiding anything though is he ! Stuff like this doesn’t bother me - but I don’t really see the difference in having a male or female friend tbh - I have mostly male friends actually and would totally do stuff like this with a man that’s not my husband.
I have stayed over at an old work colleagues house once as he lives quite far away didn’t event I just for a second it was wrong

The fact you don’t trust your partner though is an issue

i would find it odd

I personally would ring this weird.

Find not ring fgs*

Janice, I wouldn’t be comfortable with this this. Spending the day traveling and organizing the family holiday home together? That would be a bonding experience. It feels like an escalation.

That's over stepping the boundary of colleague v personal friend.
Wouldn't be happy.

Nope. That's not necessary. I would not be happy with it.

I'm not with others I don't see an issue with a friend helping to sort something out.

Would say OP that you may have some self esteem elements to work on. You fiancé is with you, loves you etc.
Yes people do have affairs but I don't see it as the first conclusion to jump to if a friend is helping out! I would be amusing Mt DH about once a month in that case.......reality is he helps a friend out (who is my friend too)

My immediate feeling is emotional affair.
She has a kid so she's using a day of childcare to help him with stuff. That's pretty intense!

But, DH has female friends who I would not blink at them doing this with him, so I guess it comes down to the fact you feel uncomfortable.

I would be concerned as this feels like a 'couplely' sort of think to do.

She is going to help him clean and garden and organise his mums holiday home?!
Is that not a very odd thing for a colleague/friend to get involved with?

She has a child. I just can’t imagine a scenario where I’d arrange childcare to go and help a man clean someone’s house unless he and I were dating or very close friends.

I believe you need to protect and cherish a relationship. Said after a divorce. My DH and I would not be happy with this either way. But it’s all personal I guess.

You're asking the question because you feel something is off. If you were 100% happy you would not be asking the question on here and would feel secure like the pp's who think you should feel secure. Only you can pick up on the tiny things that might indicate something is off, which you clearly have. It's a sucky time when you feel something is (or could start) going on and everyone says you should be cool. I really feel for you. I'm afraid you just have to ride it out. Don't get married until you feel 100% secure.

Why aren’t you going to help, OP? Think I’d be tempted to tag along for a few hours.

However, if they’re going to have an affair, it will happen, regardless of where and when. I suppose, if you go, at least you’ll know where you stand.

@skipperjonce - what a revolting thing to say.

Judgemental and bitchy.

I'm sure your life is perfect.

Affair! definitely.

Hidden in plain sight.

Sounds odd to me. It's not a social occasion or fun event - I've done fun runs with colleagues, for example - it's cleaning a house.

As PP have said, I wouldn't expect a lifelong friend to do something like that with me or to ask me to do it either. It's the kind of thing I'd expect my DH or another family member to help with.

Yeah I wouldn’t like this either.

Just out of interest, why is it not you going with him?

Sorry but I would not be happy about this at all. I’m not jealous or insecure (and my hubby has female friends) but these two have ample opportunity to get closer. She’s a threat to your relationship!!!