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Original poster

My AirPods are where I thought they were. My husband isn’t!!

999 replies

BadDayForMe · 27/03/2022 02:07

I’ve been reading mumsnet for years but not made an account until now. I can’t talk to anyone in RL and really need some advice please
My DH is on a golfing trip with a work friend in Portugal. I though I would do some housework today and was looking for my AirPods. I couldn’t find them so mentioned to DS that I didn’t want to spend time looking in case I’d left them at work.
He suggested I look on find my iPhone as that would show them. I’ve never used it before but once I reset the Apple ID I got in and saw they were in the house. ( I searched the kitchen and found them behind the pot I drop my keys and stuff in. )
I noticed that this app showed my husbands phone so clicked on it just for a nose
He’s not in Portugal. He’s in Spain!!!!!
Why the fuck would he lie about what country he he’s in unless there is something seriously dodgy going on. I watched him go from a hotel to a
Restaurant, then along the seafront, then back to the same hotel. It can’t be wrong. I can’t sleep. Is he with another woman?
Wtf do I do?????

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
spacehardware · 27/03/2022 08:01

I agree with EarringsandLipstick

If you think he's lying to you OP, ask him about it.

You don't need to entrap him with dossiers of evidence - if you don't believe him then that's that anyway

amymorris01 · 27/03/2022 08:01

Im sorry but I would phone the hotel straight away and ask him why he is in spain and not portugal. Tell him about the app and that he had better explain why he is lying. I couldnt just wait it out it would drive me insane.

Lurking9to5 · 27/03/2022 08:02

omg, Benalmádena, I'd leave him for that too. That place is not where you go to relax or play golf. Clubs, drugs, sex. It's a far cry from the golf course.

HopeIsNotAStrategy · 27/03/2022 08:03

@Michellebops

Hey op, firstly I hope you're ok.

Do you know his return flight details?
When he is due back?

If you download plane finder and click on your airport he is flying into, you can check on the day he's due home for the list of flights.
I'm betting there will be no Faro but will be a Malaga.

You can play the game with him, let him feed you lies then turn up at the airport when the Malaga flight arrives and see wtf he's up to and with who ❤️

This is a good idea. No need to confront him there, stay out of sight.
EarringsandLipstick · 27/03/2022 08:04

Of course OP's H could be doing something suspicious. We obviously don't know.

However, I really hate this 'ducks in the row' talk.

This is a strange situation for sure. However, adding layers of drama is ridiculous and unnecessary.

Just ask him.

NurseBernard · 27/03/2022 08:04

@1forAll74

Why would he be cheating if he has gone away to play golf with male friends.. All this tracking and suspicions of men when they go on a break is really paranoid.
Well, presumably he hasn’t gone away to play golf with male friends!

Not to say there isn’t an entirely plausible explanation. But if there isn’t, the ‘playing golf with male friends’ is the cover story.

materialrealitygirl · 27/03/2022 08:05

@EarringsandLipstick

So many of these posts are insane.

If something like this happened to me, with my partner I ordinarily trusted, I would ask him.

I would see no need to jump to conclusions or play games.

And if something is amiss, I'd assume I could work that out from his reaction.

It seems like the oddest of lies to tell to cover your tracks, that you are in Portugal rather than Spain. Why would that make it easier to cover the tracks of an affair?

I don't understand why you don't understand it?

If he's lying to the OP, then if she makes it clear she knows, he'll just lie more, then she won't know what to think.

Gathering more info before letting him know she knows he's lying puts her on stronger ground.

You might think you can tell the truth from his reaction but her DH is not yours! Some people are accomplished liars and asking them will only get you more lies.

HopeIsNotAStrategy · 27/03/2022 08:06

@Lurking9to5

omg, Benalmádena, I'd leave him for that too. That place is not where you go to relax or play golf. Clubs, drugs, sex. It's a far cry from the golf course.
I've stayed in Benalmadena overnight in low season and that certainly wasn't what the bit I stayed in was like, it was very nice. The poor OP has enough to worry about already.
NurseBernard · 27/03/2022 08:07

@grapewines

My laptop says I'm in a location 5 hours from where I actually am, which amounts to across the country I'm in. I hope there is a reasonable explanation. Don't jump to "change the locks" just yet.
🤷🏻‍♀️ Your laptop isn’t the Find My app, which is accurate.
rookiemere · 27/03/2022 08:07

I would try to access his emails or credit card statement from home, to try to find what flight he was on and hotel he's in.

Lurking9to5 · 27/03/2022 08:07

@TwoDaysOff

Passport stamp a good call!
Do they do that still? I haven't been outside of the EU in decades though, tbh, I did go to the UK from Ireland but I don't think they did any more than just glance at my passport. NO stamping went on!
EarringsandLipstick · 27/03/2022 08:08

By the way, FindMyIphone absolutely can be wrong. I just checked Apple Support for examples, and there are many questions. Explanations have varied from lack of network connection to cell tower triangulation.

But you know, that's not as interesting as OMG, OP, he's definitely lying, get your ducks in a row, hire a PI, take his phone when he walks in 🙄

BeHappy91818 · 27/03/2022 08:08

Can you access his emails and look for his flight/hotel details?

Check the hotel hes staying at and see if it has a golf course?

Watch his moves today to see if he goes to a golf course?

Check his phone when he’s back before you say anything …

autienotnaughty · 27/03/2022 08:08

@Lurking9to5

omg, Benalmádena, I'd leave him for that too. That place is not where you go to relax or play golf. Clubs, drugs, sex. It's a far cry from the golf course.
I hope not we have a family holiday there in couple of months 😬
Nillynally · 27/03/2022 08:08

Do not tell him! Ring the hotel!

BeHappy91818 · 27/03/2022 08:09

Every time I have used find my iPhone it’s been correct. My daughter lost her mobile once and we found it in find my iPhone .. left in the chip shop she went into earlier that day!

NurseBernard · 27/03/2022 08:10

But she’s watched him go from a restaurant to a hotel and walk along a beach.

I think we can assume that even if FindMy can be wrong, it’s not in this case.

NurseBernard · 27/03/2022 08:11

And that’s not to say he’s having an affair. He could be (probably is!) doing that with his golfing buddies.

OLP2019 · 27/03/2022 08:12

Why is everyone immediately leaning towards cheating?

Lurking9to5 · 27/03/2022 08:13

@HopeIsNotAStrategy well the first thing I thought when I read Benalmádena was ''sex holiday''. This is a potential reason why he might have lied and said Faro. He lied about his location and the OP should know that Benalmádena is not a sleeply little fishing village. It's important.

materialrealitygirl · 27/03/2022 08:13

Do they do that still? I haven't been outside of the EU in decades though, tbh, I did go to the UK from Ireland but I don't think they did any more than just glance at my passport. NO stamping went on!

  1. Brexit. The UK is no longer in the EU. We don't get to go in the fast track EU channel any more.
  1. The UK and Ireland have a special relationship in a way the UK and Spain don't.
toots111 · 27/03/2022 08:14

But if you were having an affair why would saying you were in Portugal vs Spain make any difference? I can’t see why you’d lie about something else, it does make any sense.

Changeee1546789 · 27/03/2022 08:14

OP do you know the work friend he has gone with? Or any of the work friend’s family/friends? Can’t you do some gentle investigating?

Costumenonsense · 27/03/2022 08:14

Not sure why he’d lie about the country, unless saying ‘Spain’ would alert you to potentially dodgy behaviour?

Hope you’re wrong OP.

jo55ie · 27/03/2022 08:16

Doesn't sound good OP. Hope you get some answers soon