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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My AirPods are where I thought they were. My husband isn’t!!

999 replies

BadDayForMe · 27/03/2022 02:07

I’ve been reading mumsnet for years but not made an account until now. I can’t talk to anyone in RL and really need some advice please
My DH is on a golfing trip with a work friend in Portugal. I though I would do some housework today and was looking for my AirPods. I couldn’t find them so mentioned to DS that I didn’t want to spend time looking in case I’d left them at work.
He suggested I look on find my iPhone as that would show them. I’ve never used it before but once I reset the Apple ID I got in and saw they were in the house. ( I searched the kitchen and found them behind the pot I drop my keys and stuff in. )
I noticed that this app showed my husbands phone so clicked on it just for a nose
He’s not in Portugal. He’s in Spain!!!!!
Why the fuck would he lie about what country he he’s in unless there is something seriously dodgy going on. I watched him go from a hotel to a
Restaurant, then along the seafront, then back to the same hotel. It can’t be wrong. I can’t sleep. Is he with another woman?
Wtf do I do?????

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Itshothothot · 27/03/2022 12:38

I would comment on the woman’s picture asking who made her breakfast in bed

SunshineAndFizz · 27/03/2022 12:40

Ah man OP. This must be so so stressful for you. We're all rooting for you. Hope it's an innocent mistake.

DiamondCushion · 27/03/2022 12:41

[quote WonderfulYou]@DiamondCushion you said the OP shouldn’t stop looking for evidence of an affair - so what evidence should she be looking for?[/quote]
Eh? You are the only person on this thread who thinks the DH is wonderful and the OP should drop it, not question him, not look for further evidence of an affair. And why you’ve singled me out to quiz this is bonkers. I conclude you are the woman he’s having the affair with and now you’ve told him and he knows and has to get his story straight.
Again, why would any decent person tell her to get back in the 50’s, greet him with a smile and makeup and forget what she saw?

pompomseverywhere · 27/03/2022 12:42

@BadDayForMe

My parents have arrived to spend the day with us, so not had a chance to read all of your comments yet, but your support is holding me up. He has replied to my message. I asked how’s it going in sunny Portugal and he said there’s no danger of getting burnt. No mention of being in fucking Spain!
Excellent question to ask him
HelloSpringIveMissedYou · 27/03/2022 12:42

I've partly read the thread but I have read all the OPs posts.

We have a family find my phone but eldest DS never shares his location, daft as I always know where he is, his bedroom Wink

Anyway, it does seem odd that the app is putting your 'D'H in a totally different country. Don't say anything yet OP, eventually it will all come out, go with your gut and if you think he's lying don't be swayed.

Sending you unmumsnetty hugs

Gonnagetgoing · 27/03/2022 12:42

It might be innocent and he’s either driven (why?!) from Portugal to Spain. But I’d be asking questions and wanting proof from him.

TabithaTittlemouse · 27/03/2022 12:45

@Itshothothot

I would comment on the woman’s picture asking who made her breakfast in bed
That’s quite an unusual thing to comment isn’t it? I would think it was quite rude or that the person commenting was a bit mad. Plus I’m not sure that op is friends on Facebook with the wife.
Metoo99 · 27/03/2022 12:46

Hello OP, I totally sympathize with you, having been in a similar situation.
Have you looked on google maps street view at the hotel location? I would want to know what the hotel and the restaurant look like.
Sending you strength.

JaneyJimplin · 27/03/2022 12:48

Hope you get some honest answers from him op.

TabithaTittlemouse · 27/03/2022 12:48

@Gonnagetgoing but then why let op carry on thinking that he’s in Portugal? When she asked about the weather in Portugal surely you would mention then that you’ve popped over to Spain.

sausagesandchamp · 27/03/2022 12:48

Fair enough innocent until proven guilty. But certainly I would be keeping quite my suspicions and trying to catch him in a lie. Track where he goes, and probably turn up and the airport to the arrivals from Faro and Malaga... See if he's gone on a cheeky solo holiday or not...

www.bristolairport.co.uk/arrivals-and-departures/arrivals?view=next24hours

Christinatherabbit · 27/03/2022 12:49

@Itshothothot

I would comment on the woman’s picture asking who made her breakfast in bed
I don't think they are friends. She just looked her up so it would be awkward and clear that the OP and searched for her
Notanotherwindow · 27/03/2022 12:53

Fingers crossed there's a sensible explanation. My aunt managed to confuse Ireland and Wales so I guess it can happen.

ChangefortheBetter88 · 27/03/2022 12:53

He’s cheating. You need to confront him when he gets home. Don’t let him make up any crap. Text him and say how is Portugal/how is the golf and if he lies you’ve caught him. Sorry you’re going through this.

GeorginaE89 · 27/03/2022 12:55

Oh god I hope he isn’t cheating but I genuinely can’t think of a reason you’d lie about the country, he could have just said Spain and still cheated and you’d be non the wiser; very strange behaviour

Hollywolly1 · 27/03/2022 12:55

If he is telling lies why would we believe he is flying back tomorrow he could be back today and staying at ow place tonight if there is an ow.I think its best not to let on you know anything so you can be a few steps ahead because if there is another woman it will give you plenty of time to get the ducks in a row,although I think it's a good idea to contact the friends wife

Flippy87 · 27/03/2022 12:56

Can you get the home phone number for the friend and ask to speak to Mr whateverhisnameis? Then you’d know if he’s in the country or not

Grumpyscot92 · 27/03/2022 12:56

I'd somehow try and find out if said friend is abroad too! Not sure how though.

NettleTea · 27/03/2022 12:57

If he has previously been to Portugal with golfing friends, and this is a regular occurrance, dont you think if the friend had swapped locations that OPs husband might have noticed? because this sounds like something that has supposedly been going on for a while, as in they always go to Portugal to play golf. So I assume they have a favourite hotel to go to and a favourite course or two that they play. That seems a more reasonable assumtion, or I would have thought that over the years they would have gone to different locations.

That being so, I find it unlikely that OPs husband didnt notice that the airport and location and hotel were different (assuming he has flown to Malaga instead)

have you seen photographs of previous holidays OP? Is it always the same friend/ friends who go? If sometimes there are other men who go along, are you friends with their wives, hence not saying he is going with them this time? The fact you dont know this man's wife is handy, IF he is being shady.

I agree with watching the iphone tomorrow - watch and see if that potential random mistake on the phone goes to an airport and it then pops up in Bristol. Id take a few random screenshots today as well. Check if it goes to a golfcourse. Because swapping locations and still playing golf, and him being an ignoramous is a stretch, but it IS a possibility, although if its rained off then its going to be trickier.

MadeForThis · 27/03/2022 12:57

I would just continue to track and screenshot his movements. When he comes home I would check his phone too.

shinynewapple22 · 27/03/2022 12:59

@layladomino

Have also been on a relaxing family holiday in Benalmadena, and don't recognise the 'drugs, clubs and sex' description - certainly not the bit we were in. Not the main point I know, but unfair to give the Op a skewed picture of where he is.

I know!! I think @Lurking9to5's description of Benalmadena tells us more about the type of holiday she went on!!

LaraDeSalle · 27/03/2022 13:01

OP’s husband bought a Spanish lottery ticket and won. He’s gone to collect his gazillions and wants to surprise her with the news when he gets home.

He arrives home and Op is waiting behind the door with a frying pan in her hand.......

Redbluelellow · 27/03/2022 13:01

Have you sent him any msg asking how his friend is? I would be tempted to send a msg 'hope you have a good last day - has luke had a good time?'
Kind of thing
You know he's lied about where he's gone catch him in a lie about who with.
Absolute fucker sorry op that's utter shit

Lambanddog · 27/03/2022 13:02

@PingPages

This sounds like the kind of thread the papers like to pick up on and publish online *@BadDayForMe* , careful. Flowers
I was thinking the same. Effing Daily Fail and their shitty journalism. Hopefully a few more comments like this will put them off.
burnoutbabe · 27/03/2022 13:03

even if "find my phone" is inaccurate, you'd then expect it to show you randonly in the middle of nowhere (the sea/a forest), not based in a particular hotel, then walking to other real buildings at around dinner time. it would show nonsense, rather than the sensible movements of a person on holiday in that town.

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