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Original poster

My AirPods are where I thought they were. My husband isn’t!!

999 replies

BadDayForMe · 27/03/2022 02:07

I’ve been reading mumsnet for years but not made an account until now. I can’t talk to anyone in RL and really need some advice please
My DH is on a golfing trip with a work friend in Portugal. I though I would do some housework today and was looking for my AirPods. I couldn’t find them so mentioned to DS that I didn’t want to spend time looking in case I’d left them at work.
He suggested I look on find my iPhone as that would show them. I’ve never used it before but once I reset the Apple ID I got in and saw they were in the house. ( I searched the kitchen and found them behind the pot I drop my keys and stuff in. )
I noticed that this app showed my husbands phone so clicked on it just for a nose
He’s not in Portugal. He’s in Spain!!!!!
Why the fuck would he lie about what country he he’s in unless there is something seriously dodgy going on. I watched him go from a hotel to a
Restaurant, then along the seafront, then back to the same hotel. It can’t be wrong. I can’t sleep. Is he with another woman?
Wtf do I do?????

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
BadNomad · 27/03/2022 11:46

Track (and screenshot) it tomorrow when he goes for his flight. You'll see if it shows him at an airport.

Fimofriend · 27/03/2022 11:48

My laptop says I am a good 15 miles east of where I am. My computer at work says I am in a different country but I think that has something to do with our security.
He could also just have had a moment of distraction and said the wrong country. My parents do that all the time and always have. Maybe he's like Portugal, Spain whatever.

InFiveMins · 27/03/2022 11:48

Do you know where his friend lives? If so I'd drive over and see if I could spot any sign of his friend being there.

I would definitely be at the airport tomorrow.

BlueOverYellow · 27/03/2022 11:49

Sorry, OP. He appears to be lying about his location, so he's already ok with lying. Good luck getting to the bottom of it.

Mellowyellow222 · 27/03/2022 11:50

@HorribleHerstory

My phone once sent me a Welcome to Ireland message but I have never been to Ireland, I was actually on the far west coast of wales at the time.

I hope it’s something like that for you op.

This is completely different. It’s roaming.

I have never known a true life experience where find my phone puts there phone anything more than one or town houses away from where it actually is.

I would be shocked if this man isn’t where the map says his phone is.

I have travelled extensively and my family loves tracking me on find my phone. It has worked in New York and Paris and Sydney. Only time it didn’t work was in the air.

buckeejit · 27/03/2022 11:51

The colleague's wife thing is alarming. I might wait at the airport for him

Wineat5isfine · 27/03/2022 11:51

This reply has been deleted

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Lorw · 27/03/2022 11:51

Sorry OP. The simplest explanation is most likely the correct one, there is no smoke without fire, you know he’s lied, so no other logical explanation for that. People are getting themselves in knots trying to explain why he would have got himself confused with what country he’s in? What a load of Bollucks.

I’d be turning up at the airport to see who he’s with and then changing the locks but that’s just me. 🤷🏻‍♀️

SpinningTheSeedsOfLove · 27/03/2022 11:51

So now he's setting up a story about the weather and why he's not going to look like he's been golfing outdoors for a few days, because he hasn't in fact been golfing outdoors for a few days? He's certainly dedicated to this story, I'll give him that.

beenaroundtheblox · 27/03/2022 11:51

@Norwolf

Find my iphone is never wrong. Technology doesn’t lie, people do. Weird how some people are trying to twist the narration to give his explanation room.

@BadDayForMe don’t let him know you know, play along with whatever game he is playing. When he gets back, you will have known by then. Be patient with it all. And take as much evidence as you can to help u with your decision. Screenshots, bank statements etc.

It's often wrong. My husband is often still showing 50 miles away and he walks in the door!
ImInStealthMode · 27/03/2022 11:52

@TabithaTittlemouse Yes, all arrivals from all countries, of all nationalities. Even people only transiting through Spain need to do it. It's an enormous pain in the backside.

Cockenspiel · 27/03/2022 11:53

Things to consider:

Have all previous golfing trips been with the same solo person?
Have you ever known where he has stayed specifically on previous trips? Have they always said they’re in Portugal?
Have you ever seen photos from previous golf trips?
Do you tend to have video calls / much contact when he is away?
Does he consider himself tech savvy?

I think it’s unlikely that your FM iPhone is incorrect. I work in an industry where men (and women) travel internationally a lot for conferences and business meetings and there is always a contingent of cheaters. Many of these people are seemingly normal folks who you would never suspect as they keep it completely separate from their home lives. They either cheat with other colleagues or use dating hook-up apps, or else strip clubs and sex workers.

It’s entirely possible he has been using the golfing trips as a cover for sex holidays. Many men do this, not because they are unhappy per se in their marriages, but because they can get away with it and want the sexual thrills. I’m not saying your DH is one of these men, but it’s entirely possible he is.

Nidan2Sandan · 27/03/2022 11:53

Could you not just casually ask him which golf courses he has played at?

It's not out of the realm of possibility for him to travel across the boarder to play on a Spanish course.

Butterfly44 · 27/03/2022 11:54

What I would do is ask the name of his hotel. This is easy. Then if it's correct and in Spain you can reply and say....but that's in Spain not Portugal...and await his reply which could be ok. If he doesn't lie about the hotel then all should be ok.

HesGotHisTrombole · 27/03/2022 11:56

[quote Norwolf]@HesGotHisTrombole, ofcourse they won’t. The OP’s husband set up the find my iphone for all their phones if you’d read her post.[/quote]
Ok, so I set up find my iPhone on the kids phones - everyone has their own Apple ID. We also have family sharing.

If one of them reset their password I wouldn’t get a notification; if I did they wouldn’t.

Only the Apple ID being reset would. Which can’t be her husbands. If they were using the same Apple ID on each phone (which would be weird) she would be able to see all of his photos, which she can’t.

isthismylifenow · 27/03/2022 11:56

I really wouldn't contact the friends wife. If something is amiss she will contact her husband, surely? Who will then contact your husband...

frozendaisy · 27/03/2022 11:57

I don't see any point in turning up at the airport.

He might, if he is with another woman, have met her there. Or travelled separate.

He could get off a plane alone and still be a lying frog.

So personally I think the airport is a waste of time. Only of any use if you know he is travelling back with his fling. Which you don't.

SW1amp · 27/03/2022 11:57

@beenaroundtheblox

It might show a previous location and not refresh to the current one straight away

But it will never just randomly show a location where the phone hasn’t been, it’s not technologically possible

And OP saw the phone moving around the town and back to the hotel
Again, not possible for this to be wrong

huffyhufferson · 27/03/2022 11:59

I agree with other people about contacting his friends wife. You are going to drive yourself crazy otherwise. Good luck - hope all goes well.

TabithaTittlemouse · 27/03/2022 11:59

Thanks @ImInStealthMode! It does sound like a pain.

AutumnWinterWardrobe · 27/03/2022 12:00

@Fimofriend

My laptop says I am a good 15 miles east of where I am. My computer at work says I am in a different country but I think that has something to do with our security. He could also just have had a moment of distraction and said the wrong country. My parents do that all the time and always have. Maybe he's like Portugal, Spain whatever.
Laptops/PCs have a completely different way of estimating your location. iPhones use GPS which is far far more reliable.
Bodgerbarbara · 27/03/2022 12:00

Well he’s deceptive op.

We don’t now why yet.

Have there been any problems or anything? Would it be anything like an escape holiday getting drunk or something?

I hope you’re ok. I went through a similar deception and it is such a horrible feeling. Try to get some fresh air and give your mind a rest from it for a bit.

Sisisimone · 27/03/2022 12:01

He has replied to my message. I asked how’s it going in sunny Portugal and he said there’s no danger of getting burnt.No mention of being in fucking Spain!
I dont think I be able to stop myself sending something that was just enough to shit him up a little bit. Like "yes, same in Spain I believe"

WonderfulYou · 27/03/2022 12:01

@DiamondCushion you said the OP shouldn’t stop looking for evidence of an affair - so what evidence should she be looking for?

InFiveMins · 27/03/2022 12:05

@frozendaisy

I don't see any point in turning up at the airport.

He might, if he is with another woman, have met her there. Or travelled separate.

He could get off a plane alone and still be a lying frog.

So personally I think the airport is a waste of time. Only of any use if you know he is travelling back with his fling. Which you don't.

I thought the same but would still go to see anyway just in case. And if friend lives fairly nearby and is truly with him then surely the friend would travel back with her DH, so I'd turn up at the airport tomorrow for that reason too.