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Original poster

My AirPods are where I thought they were. My husband isn’t!!

999 replies

BadDayForMe · 27/03/2022 02:07

I’ve been reading mumsnet for years but not made an account until now. I can’t talk to anyone in RL and really need some advice please
My DH is on a golfing trip with a work friend in Portugal. I though I would do some housework today and was looking for my AirPods. I couldn’t find them so mentioned to DS that I didn’t want to spend time looking in case I’d left them at work.
He suggested I look on find my iPhone as that would show them. I’ve never used it before but once I reset the Apple ID I got in and saw they were in the house. ( I searched the kitchen and found them behind the pot I drop my keys and stuff in. )
I noticed that this app showed my husbands phone so clicked on it just for a nose
He’s not in Portugal. He’s in Spain!!!!!
Why the fuck would he lie about what country he he’s in unless there is something seriously dodgy going on. I watched him go from a hotel to a
Restaurant, then along the seafront, then back to the same hotel. It can’t be wrong. I can’t sleep. Is he with another woman?
Wtf do I do?????

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
KnowingMeKnowingYouAhaaaa · 27/03/2022 11:16

I wouldn't let on that you think he might not be telling the truth. I'd watch his movements today, see if the app puts him on a golf course. You say the hotel he says he's staying at has a course attached, could you Google if the one he's in has a course on it. Have a look where he flies out of tomorrow. It'd be very weird if it has him flying out of a Spanish airport around the time he should be leaving Portugal (so not a glitch with find my phone). I've always found it to be spot on when you have a signal, can't think why it'd place you in another country unless his phone has been stolen?

I trust my husband completely but if he was holidaying in a different country to where he said he was going (and not mentioned the big change of plan), I'd be asking questions!!!

HellToTheNope · 27/03/2022 11:17

@Scandisaurus22

If he was trying to hide his whereabouts it wouldn’t be likely that he actually reminded you of check my iphone..when chances then were you also checked his find my iphone at the same time as yours.
It was her son that told her to us FMIP.
HesGotHisTrombole · 27/03/2022 11:17

[quote Norwolf]@PoshWatchShitShoes she reset the password, ofcourse an email notification will be generated automatically.[/quote]
I have my kids on find my iPhone. If I reset my Apple password they wouldn’t get a notification

DoctorManhattan · 27/03/2022 11:17

Not saying he is 100% innocent but I really can’t understand how it could possibly benefit him - if he’s up to no good - to say he is in Portugal rather than Spain.

If he wants to cheat, he is already 1500+ miles away and if he is a few hours North/South/East/West of where he claimed to be it really wouldn’t make any difference to his cover story would it?

We have property in La Cala which isn’t far down the road from Benalmadena so I’m very familiar with the area, as has been said on here there are numerous high end golf courses along that southern strip and in all likelihood it could just have been a change of plan to the original holiday.

WilsonMilson · 27/03/2022 11:17

I’ve always found Find my IPhone to be very accurate. It can be off or at a last location if a phone is off or in bad reception, but if you’re getting the ‘now’ location and you can see him moving, it’s accurate enough.

Benalmadena is 4 hours drive from Faro and 424km. Why would he have flown into Faro to go there? It makes no sense. And he’d hardly be taking a taxi that far! Something is very off about this.

Have you access to any financial accounts? Emails? Why don’t you FaceTime him saying the kids want to see him - especially at night time. FaceTime him before bed!

Good suggestion someone made about messaging so called golf buddy wife about flight times and that you ‘thought perhaps’ her husband was away, but leaving it casual so she doesn’t alert her husband who then calls yours. If she says he’s not away, then drop it into text to your husband asking how the friend is, and see what his response is.

I wouldn’t reveal your cards yet, gives him too much time to concoct some story. Get all the info, take screen shots, find out if the friend is with him. Get his flight into. Wait until he comes home until you say anything definitive.

longwayoff · 27/03/2022 11:18

Ffs. Phone him. Ask him.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 27/03/2022 11:18

Wouldn't DH have thought to disable location on findmy if he was cheating?

BrightonBunny · 27/03/2022 11:19

OP why haven't you called the hotel? Obviously you know which one it is as the app showed you.

I guess if he is with OW then it could be booked in her name but I think it's worth a go.

Original poster
BadDayForMe · 27/03/2022 11:20

My parents have arrived to spend the day with us, so not had a chance to read all of your comments yet, but your support is holding me up.
He has replied to my message. I asked how’s it going in sunny Portugal and he said there’s no danger of getting burnt.
No mention of being in fucking Spain!

OP posts:
Scandisaurus22 · 27/03/2022 11:20

Shinyandnew1

Scandisaurus22
If he was trying to hide his whereabouts it wouldn’t be likely that he actually reminded you of check my iphone..when chances then were you also checked his find my iphone at the same time as yours.
Yes, highly unlikely.

Which is probably why he didn’t.

What do you mean @Shinyandnew1? OP’s husband did suggest find my iphone to her..

SiobhanSharpe · 27/03/2022 11:22

I was in Spain very recently and my British passport was definitely stamped. DH was travelling on his Irish passport and his was not.

Scandisaurus22 · 27/03/2022 11:23

Oh ok, it was her son who suggested it..sorry!!! 😂😬🙄

MarvelMrs · 27/03/2022 11:23

Say your were discussing hotels and areas with someone and where exactly did he say he was staying again, and are there any good restaurants? Get some evidence and screenshot the messages and the locations.

onelife22 · 27/03/2022 11:24

You can literally drive over a bridge from Portugal to Spain and vice versa. If he was somewhere else I'd be concerned but they could have easily just gone to a different course or restaurant/bar.

IEatChocolateForBreakfast · 27/03/2022 11:25

OP - dues your husband have an iPad or other apple device that's paired with his phone? If you can get into that it's possible to see texts, pictures, etc all coming through almost live as takes them.

For the people saying when could cheat in Portugal or Spain. Of course he could. But he could be using previous genuine lads trips to Portugal, plus the knowledge of the area to cover his tracks while in Spain. So if she asks how it was he could say "oh yes, we went back to this restaurant because we enjoyed it so much before" etc

Norwolf · 27/03/2022 11:26

@HesGotHisTrombole, ofcourse they won’t. The OP’s husband set up the find my iphone for all their phones if you’d read her post.

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 27/03/2022 11:27

@onelife22

You can literally drive over a bridge from Portugal to Spain and vice versa. If he was somewhere else I'd be concerned but they could have easily just gone to a different course or restaurant/bar.
Over a bridge plus a further 4 hour drive? The OP hasn't posted that many times, it's easy to keep up.
TabithaTittlemouse · 27/03/2022 11:28

@BadDayForMe

My parents have arrived to spend the day with us, so not had a chance to read all of your comments yet, but your support is holding me up. He has replied to my message. I asked how’s it going in sunny Portugal and he said there’s no danger of getting burnt. No mention of being in fucking Spain!
That’s even more worrying.
Coffeepot72 · 27/03/2022 11:28

I still think there may simply be some confusion around Spain and Portugal. I know people who going skiing in Europe and get all confused about France and Italy.

BarbaraofSeville · 27/03/2022 11:29

@onelife22

You can literally drive over a bridge from Portugal to Spain and vice versa. If he was somewhere else I'd be concerned but they could have easily just gone to a different course or restaurant/bar.
Is there also a wormhole that shortcuts the 4 hour drive to Benalmadena where the DHs phone says he is?
AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 27/03/2022 11:30

@BadDayForMe

My parents have arrived to spend the day with us, so not had a chance to read all of your comments yet, but your support is holding me up. He has replied to my message. I asked how’s it going in sunny Portugal and he said there’s no danger of getting burnt. No mention of being in fucking Spain!
He really is covering all the bases if he's checked the weather for the Portugal town. How quickly did he answer your message?
DiamondCushion · 27/03/2022 11:31

@WonderfulYou

I live in Cornwall. Many people who visit will group Cornwall and Devon together or stay in one but spend most of their time in the other.

Him being across the border does not mean he’s cheating.
He could easily cheat in Portugal or tell you he’s golfing in Spain.

Stop tracking him, stop looking on Facebook and enjoy your day because overthinking this is going to make you ill.

Bollocks to that. Why should she stop looking for further evidence her husband is having an affair? Is she supposed to get back in the kitchen and do her makeup ready for his return and surrender meekly? I’m guessing she needs to re subscribe to the transformed wife on Facebook.
Shinyandnew1 · 27/03/2022 11:32

@Scandisaurus22

Shinyandnew1

Scandisaurus22
If he was trying to hide his whereabouts it wouldn’t be likely that he actually reminded you of check my iphone..when chances then were you also checked his find my iphone at the same time as yours.
Yes, highly unlikely.

Which is probably why he didn’t.

What do you mean @Shinyandnew1? OP’s husband did suggest find my iphone to her..

Can you cut and paste that for me?
ImInStealthMode · 27/03/2022 11:33

I'm a bit confused about the friend's "private" FB profile. Even if FB posts are limited to certain people, you can't just click on a FB profile and have it tell you "this profile is private". You might not see their friends list, but you aren't made aware of anything else they've hidden from you (as in, not made public) Perhaps it wasn't Facebook?

@PAFMO It's possible to protect your FB profile to the degree that all anyone who's not your friend can see is your profile picture / cover photo if you have one set.

OP I hope you're ok. You are a stronger Woman than me not to have just rung him on the spot.

Probably a bit early for laughs, but if there is another Woman and he's whisked her to Benalmadena of all places well at least you know he's not spoiling her Wink

DiamondCushion · 27/03/2022 11:33

@longwayoff

Ffs. Phone him. Ask him.
Nope don’t do this, shit advice. Wait til he’s back and you’ve got more evidence and can judge his reaction. Why give him time to get things straight and give him back the advantage?