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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My AirPods are where I thought they were. My husband isn’t!!

999 replies

BadDayForMe · 27/03/2022 02:07

I’ve been reading mumsnet for years but not made an account until now. I can’t talk to anyone in RL and really need some advice please
My DH is on a golfing trip with a work friend in Portugal. I though I would do some housework today and was looking for my AirPods. I couldn’t find them so mentioned to DS that I didn’t want to spend time looking in case I’d left them at work.
He suggested I look on find my iPhone as that would show them. I’ve never used it before but once I reset the Apple ID I got in and saw they were in the house. ( I searched the kitchen and found them behind the pot I drop my keys and stuff in. )
I noticed that this app showed my husbands phone so clicked on it just for a nose
He’s not in Portugal. He’s in Spain!!!!!
Why the fuck would he lie about what country he he’s in unless there is something seriously dodgy going on. I watched him go from a hotel to a
Restaurant, then along the seafront, then back to the same hotel. It can’t be wrong. I can’t sleep. Is he with another woman?
Wtf do I do?????

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
AngelicaSchuylerAndHerSisters · 27/03/2022 10:55

Could you message the friend’s wife and say: ‘sorry to interrupt your Mother’s Day but I have lost DH’s flight details. Do you know what time they arrive? I think he said your DH is part of the group but if he isn’t, let me know and I’ll ask someone else”

ChuckBerrysBoots · 27/03/2022 10:57

The only thing that makes any kind of sense

Or find my iPhone is off base on the location

whenwillthemadnessend · 27/03/2022 10:57

This is weird, my husband travels for work all the time and it's rarely wrong in the respect of the old issue the only time that it is wrong is when it hasn't updated for a few hours, either because he has no signal or Wi-Fi isn't good etc but I've never had him appear in a different country or even different area from the one he supposed to be in.

Thoosa · 27/03/2022 10:58

Don’t show your hand too soon.

WonderfulYou · 27/03/2022 10:59

I live in Cornwall. Many people who visit will group Cornwall and Devon together or stay in one but spend most of their time in the other.

Him being across the border does not mean he’s cheating.
He could easily cheat in Portugal or tell you he’s golfing in Spain.

Stop tracking him, stop looking on Facebook and enjoy your day because overthinking this is going to make you ill.

EveryCloudIsGrey · 27/03/2022 10:59

I agree with those saying find my phone isn’t always accurate

FuckThatBullshit · 27/03/2022 10:59

Bear in mind the wife of the friend may also cover if asked to by her husband, or may feel uncomfortable getting dragged into it at all. She won't necessarily shed light for the OP. Honestly OP if it was me and you've got an otherwise happy relationship I would just phone him and talk to him, or just see if he ends up on a golf course today.

frozendaisy · 27/03/2022 10:59

@Dodie66

I’ve know people that used track my phone and it was miles out. It might be wrong
But would it be so wrong that it showed you hotel, restaurant, walk.

It might be tracked another phone I guess. Then what's the point of it.

I would keep the tracker on today see what happens. Take photos of screen of the phone walking around. See if it goes to an airport tomorrow and what time it lands. Again screen shot it all.

And then see if he continues to lie when he gets home.

And then, if he does lie, find out why.

WonderfulYou · 27/03/2022 11:01

I would want to know, at the very least, which country the father of my kids was in in case something happened and he needed to get back!

If something happened and you need to help him book flights you’d just ask what the nearest airport is surely.

If someone visited the UK they probably wouldn’t go into details about the exact area and they’d probably visit a few different areas too so some airports will be closer than others.

ouch12345 · 27/03/2022 11:01

Could you ring the hotel it's showing him in and ask to speak to him to confirm he is staying there? Does the hotel it's showing him in have a golf course? Sorry you're going through this OP it sounds so stressful, you must feel sick to your stomach. Really hoping there is a reasonable explanation.

Mellowyellow222 · 27/03/2022 11:02

Have there been no photos shared of his friends - on the golf course. Could you say the kids want to see the golf buddies on the green and ask for a snap?

Do you have a joint account - can you onto online banking and see what he is being charged? Had you seen any booking emails etc?

It’s a big lie to risk - involving a lot of people. It would make more sense if the golfing buddies were in Portugal and he was in Spain with another woman - not sure how he could fake it all of there was no golf trip? Surely you would bump into someone, and mention a non existent trip?

TheCurrywurstPrion · 27/03/2022 11:02

But if he was with another woman, or similar, why would he lie about where he was going? Was there an arranged work trip to Portugal that he told you he was going on?

If not, then surely if he was trying to cover his tracks, he’d tell you a story that was as close to the truth as possible? If he’s gone to Spain with a lover, why wouldn’t he just tell you he was golfing in Spain?

As someone else said, it’s not far from Faro into Spain. It’s not impossible he and his friend might have gone there, though odd he hasn’t told you.

I hope there’s an innocent explanation. Sorry you’re going through this horrible worry. Fingers crossed that tomorrow you’ll follow him golfing back in Portugal, where he’s meant to be.

PoshWatchShitShoes · 27/03/2022 11:02

He won't know if you've looked at his location on FMIP. We use it all the time.

Such a horrible situation for you OP. Hope you get answers soon 💐

Hellocatshome · 27/03/2022 11:04

Unless you have any other reason to doubt him I would put money on there being a simple no cheating explanation.

HellToTheNope · 27/03/2022 11:04

I'd ask, "Which hotel are you staying in? I forgot."

Norwolf · 27/03/2022 11:06

@PoshWatchShitShoes she reset the password, ofcourse an email notification will be generated automatically.

JustPlainKnackered · 27/03/2022 11:07

Get him to send a selfie of him and the workmate at the golf course. Send the text when you know he is meant to actually be there.
Get the name of the hotel and call the reception and ask to be put through to his room, to check if he is staying there ( and where the hotel is).
Make sure you have your facts right before jumping on that emotional rollercoaster - leaving enough room for doubt before you tackle this will make it so much harder.
I dearly hope that this is all just a misunderstanding but hey, no one wants to be fooled by a cheat. Good luck.

Scandisaurus22 · 27/03/2022 11:07

If he was trying to hide his whereabouts it wouldn’t be likely that he actually reminded you of check my iphone..when chances then were you also checked his find my iphone at the same time as yours.

Norwolf · 27/03/2022 11:08

What is wrong with people, read her post properly before responding with inaccurate information ffs!!!!

RMS0209 · 27/03/2022 11:10

Me and my partner have this, sometimes it's a bit slow and shows him 5/10 mins behind but never 3/4 hours away... don't want to make you panic it is very strange. Hope you are ok today . X

YorkieBarn · 27/03/2022 11:11

Is it possible that the work colleague organised the trip and although the flight was in to Faro airport they would always have been in a hotel in Spain?
If husband was up to no good he wouldn’t gain anything by lying about being in Portugal instead of Spain, so it may well all be completely genuine.

Shinyandnew1 · 27/03/2022 11:12

@Scandisaurus22

If he was trying to hide his whereabouts it wouldn’t be likely that he actually reminded you of check my iphone..when chances then were you also checked his find my iphone at the same time as yours.
Yes, highly unlikely.

Which is probably why he didn’t.

Hmm
Jobsharenightmare · 27/03/2022 11:13

Stop tracking him, stop looking on Facebook and enjoy your day because overthinking this is going to make you ill.

^ yeah she's obviously going to have a lovely day now Confused

Mellowyellow222 · 27/03/2022 11:13

@ChuckBerrysBoots

The only thing that makes any kind of sense

Or find my iPhone is off base on the location

I have never experienced this. I have been using it for years and it is sometimes one or two houses out. But never more than that
SpinningTheSeedsOfLove · 27/03/2022 11:14

In MumsNetSpeak, DS = son. Not husband.