My AirPods are where I thought they were. My husband isn’t!!

[BadDayForMe]

I’ve been reading mumsnet for years but not made an account until now. I can’t talk to anyone in RL and really need some advice please
My DH is on a golfing trip with a work friend in Portugal. I though I would do some housework today and was looking for my AirPods. I couldn’t find them so mentioned to DS that I didn’t want to spend time looking in case I’d left them at work.
He suggested I look on find my iPhone as that would show them. I’ve never used it before but once I reset the Apple ID I got in and saw they were in the house. ( I searched the kitchen and found them behind the pot I drop my keys and stuff in. )
I noticed that this app showed my husbands phone so clicked on it just for a nose
He’s not in Portugal. He’s in Spain!!!!!
Why the fuck would he lie about what country he he’s in unless there is something seriously dodgy going on. I watched him go from a hotel to a
Restaurant, then along the seafront, then back to the same hotel. It can’t be wrong. I can’t sleep. Is he with another woman?
Wtf do I do?????

@rwalker read the explanation from @ZoyaTheDestroyer , just under your comment. I’m not repeating because she’s explained it lots of times before I even commented if you had read the thread properly.

@BadDayForMe, you are right, if you did reset the password, the notification email will have been sent automatically. Hopefully he won’t have the mind to pay attention to it. If he does then yes he will probably know you know. Fingers crossed though he hasn’t figured it out yet till you at least have some further information.

You do know which hotel he is at because FMIP told you already, I would definitely go along the route of asking him which hotel he is staying at, in a normal situation he would have no reason to hide this information or lie. Based on his response, I would then possibly ring the hotel and find an excuse to be connected to his room. That should be enough to figure out if his intentions.

No point turning up at the airport, if you already know his arrival times, you’ll know when plane landed etc. Plus who has the time to stalk the airport when he could be coming with or without the ‘plus 1’. It’s just awkward.

Hun, he’s cheating on. Who are these people telling you not to call him? You call that fucker immediately and demand an explanation. Seriously, are you mad? Who gives a toss if he finds out you went on find my iPhone, he’s lied to you!

Have you check the find my iPhone today?

OP, no advice, but I hope you're okay. Long day day for you, I'm sure

@Gonnagetgoing

Why would he lie about going to another country?!

Because he often goes on golfing trips to Portugal. If my husband wanted to have an affair he could easily tell me he was going to see his client in Lyon, and actually be anywhere within 2 hours with a plausible flight length/story.

@Trendytrousers

Assuming he has an iPhone get him to send you a picture.

Save the picture to your camera roll and swipe down- it will tell you the real location the photo was taken and at what time. For example if he sends an old photo you’d know as the date/time wouldn’t align.

I’ve caught some people out like this- people sending old photos passing them off as new…..

I’ve just seen he has sent you a photo- check the location! It does work.

@Flyinggeese1234 Lots still have phones

2 little girls - too little to be making the breakfast that’s on the tray? Good point about who took the picture too.
Maybe her mother is staying with them so they can all celebrate together and make a day of it seeing as your selfish husbands have gone on a “golfing weekend” and would be away on Mother’s Day. And to then not reply or message you to send you Mothers Day wishes. Not sure how old your son is - must be teenager or older to know how to use find my iPhone. Is he old enough to sort out his own Mother’s Day gift?

Hopefully, he flew into Faro the courses were water logged due to the weather and seeing as they were flying back from Malaga (friend might not have told him that there weren’t flights from Faro on Monday afternoon so had booked to fly from Malaga instead) they decided to travel there early to go to the golf courses there?
Just being as optimistic as possible for you.
Btw, my experience of Benalmádena was that it was a nice quiet little village. Please bear in mind this was almost 13 years ago when I went on my honeymoon.

I hope all works out for you and try to put it in the he back of your mind while you have your day with your child/children

The friends wife profile photo change could be from a previous year and she uploaded it today just for Mother’s Day as her husband is away and she’s missing him.

It does sound like he’s cheating I’m sorry. How old are your kids? Can they go somewhere when you meet him at the airport or at home?
I would check how much is in your bank accounts, make sure you know where documents are and take them and passwords etc today before he comes back.
Of course don’t listen to people saying to quiz him out there or let him know, it just gives him time to cover his tracks.

If you know the friends wife I would just call and say really sorry I am having problems contacting oh. Problem with phone. Do you know what hotel they are staying at ?

@IEatChocolateForBreakfast

No offence to anyone here including OP, but what kind of relationship would you have with your partner if they say they're going to Portugal for a trip and then end up in Spain because they got the countries mixed up, but then not even mention it to you??

No, "oh gosh, do you know what a silly mistake I've made", or "I got my countries mixed up" etc.

Despite their close proximity and the odd possibility that he could have flown into Faro and driven 4hrs to Spain where he is now, that's a detail my husband or I would never have left out while telling each other of our plans - and admittedly we don't even have the greatest of relationships at the moment.

It does just sound very very odd with the lack of communication going on here.

Quite. Luckily the OP seems to be taking it well. All the silliness about trying to catch him out seems rather redundant given that this seems to be someone who has lied. And it's hardly a "I know I said after work I was going to Spoons with Derek but Derek went home so I went for a KFC with Brian instead".

I'm a bit confused about the friend's "private" FB profile. Even if FB posts are limited to certain people, you can't just click on a FB profile and have it tell you "this profile is private". You might not see their friends list, but you aren't made aware of anything else they've hidden from you (as in, not made public) Perhaps it wasn't Facebook?

Of course he could have flown to Malaga, but if you'd mad on golf (which I personally can't imagine, but some people are), it's not a wild stretch of the imagination to do a spontaneous road trip to cram in one more course. Especially as the weather in Portugal has been shit -- raining for the past few days.

Keep checking OP, but try not to panic yet!

@LowlandLucky

Spain and Portugal share a border ! When staying in Spain i have flown to Faro, so he was right he was going to Portugal but he maybe staying in Spain.

@LowlandLucky I’ve driven from Malaga to Seville and into Portugal - can be long drive. Why’s he lying though?

He might just think OP is not particularly interested in the specifics of where he is playing golf. I certainly wouldn't be!

I’ve know people that used track my phone and it was miles out. It might be wrong

Just goes to show though how easy it is to be caught out by a lie due to the power of Find my iPhone, Google Maps etc.

Of course he could have flown to Malaga and not Faro. Of course he could have some peculiar mental lapsus that means he confuses neighbouring countries as a matter of course even when visiting one.

The truth is likely to be far more mundane and squalid though.

Where he’s supposed to be in Spain the place starting with B is a bit tacky so it could be true, unless female likes tacky!

My

I agree the other guy’s wife may have uploaded an old picture, and wouldn’t be reading too much into that.

@Timeinabottle

Please don’t panic. I live in Portugal and can easily pop over the border for a day or even a few hours for lunch, it’s easily done from Faro. It’s very possible he flew into Faro but is playing some golf in Spain, there are numerous courses over the border. He’s also right about the weather, it’s been raining all last week, although was sunny yesterday and overcast today.

This. Please don't panic yet. Keep screenshots and see if he talks about Spain when he returns.

I still don’t get the lie though surely he knew he was flying to Spain and not Portugal.

Some of these excuses sound totally nuts to me. How could you possibly not mention that you were in a different country to the one that you said you were going to? I genuinely don't understand how anyone can think that is normal. The only thing that makes any kind of sense is that he has lied about where he is going. All these other theories would only hold any water if he then volunteered all of this information during a conversation/message at the soonest possible moment. (ie he would have already explained this to her as soon as he arrived).

@Alcemeg

He might just think OP is not particularly interested in the specifics of where he is playing golf. I certainly wouldn't be!

I would want to know, at the very least, which country the father of my kids was in in case something happened and he needed to get back!