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Original poster

My AirPods are where I thought they were. My husband isn’t!!

999 replies

BadDayForMe · 27/03/2022 02:07

I’ve been reading mumsnet for years but not made an account until now. I can’t talk to anyone in RL and really need some advice please
My DH is on a golfing trip with a work friend in Portugal. I though I would do some housework today and was looking for my AirPods. I couldn’t find them so mentioned to DS that I didn’t want to spend time looking in case I’d left them at work.
He suggested I look on find my iPhone as that would show them. I’ve never used it before but once I reset the Apple ID I got in and saw they were in the house. ( I searched the kitchen and found them behind the pot I drop my keys and stuff in. )
I noticed that this app showed my husbands phone so clicked on it just for a nose
He’s not in Portugal. He’s in Spain!!!!!
Why the fuck would he lie about what country he he’s in unless there is something seriously dodgy going on. I watched him go from a hotel to a
Restaurant, then along the seafront, then back to the same hotel. It can’t be wrong. I can’t sleep. Is he with another woman?
Wtf do I do?????

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Sswhinesthebest · 27/03/2022 10:05

I’d check if he plays golf today first and foremost by seeing If find my friend shows him on a golf course.

Then I’d check which airport he leaves from tomorrow.

The next move is whether you want to confront him or whether you want to sit on the info to get your ducks in a row.

If you want to confront him, turn up at the airport tomorrow before the first flight is due. He’ll be with a woman on that flight or the next one a couple of hours later, with no clubs, having left them in the boot of his car. He won’t be able to wiggle out of that.

My guess he’s said Portugal because it’s easier to lie if you ask him questions, as he can draw from memory.

GrimDamnFanjo · 27/03/2022 10:06

Is it possible he's just a bit of a dope? Thought he was going to Portugal and didn't clock it was actually Spain?

LostSocksBrigade · 27/03/2022 10:07

Fingers crossed it's just a misunderstanding!

ooooof · 27/03/2022 10:07

Can you narrow his location down to an exact place? Like a hotel for example.

If you can I'd ring up and ask to be put through to Mr X room and see who answers the phone.

If he answers you know for sure that the iPhone location is working. If someone else, like a woman answers, you can ask for him and see what he has to say for himself.

Sending hugs OP x

Bethany7 · 27/03/2022 10:07

Not to sound like very stupid (because I feel I am not!) But some people may genuinely get Portugal and Spain mixed up. This is what I thought until you said he specifically mentioned the name of the airport and I'm assuming there isn't a Faro named airport in both countries (worth a check) but it still doesn't make sense. If he was having an affair I don't think you would change the name of the country you were going to.
I hope there's an innocent explanation, there still may be.
Good luck x

BulletTrain · 27/03/2022 10:08

@Littlecaf

Again, if there’s not other issues, I’d just assume he told you the wrong country. It’s Spain and Portugal, literally next door to each other, not “Im going golfing in Portugal” and you’ve caught him clubbing in Las Vegas.
As well as the wrong airport, which has no flights arriving into Bristol tomorrow aftermoon?
TempName01 · 27/03/2022 10:10

I would message the other wife saying your texts don’t seem to be getting through to your husband and can she remember the hotel name

GreenClock · 27/03/2022 10:10

Ask him if what time he’s landing when he returns, and then check whether there’s a flight from Faro to the relevant airport at that approx time.

overnightangel · 27/03/2022 10:10

If it’s bad news what a horrible way to find out

HaggisBurger · 27/03/2022 10:10

Lots of people hire clubs on golf weekends abroad.
I think it’s highly unlikely he’s “confused” Spain with Portugal because they are next door to each other. Or failed to mention they he’s driving for 4 hours (a huge amount of time on a long weekend away) across the border.
I hope you’re ok OP. As others say - I would not say anything today bar tracking him and screenshotting messages and location. The minute you see him ask for his phone. Check his whatsapp & iMessages & emails - search for Kik, Telegram, Tinder on App Store.

JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam · 27/03/2022 10:12

My husband has the sense of direction of a carrot…therefore he would probably quite easily think he was going to Portugal and end up in Spain…however he would then ring me when he landed in Spain and say I’m such a fucking donut-I’m in Spain not Portugal.

I would say the fact that he’s continuing to perpetuate the lie that it’s suspicious.

Christinatherabbit · 27/03/2022 10:12

Is he replying to your WhatsApp? I would send another asking about arrangements for him getting home from the airport. Then when he doesn't reply I would message the friend he is supposed to be with just casually saying you are sorry to bother him but could he pass on the message regarding being picked up/travel arrangements (so if all is above board it wouldn't be embarrassing for him and perfectly reasonable) and them see what the reply is....

Alcemeg · 27/03/2022 10:13

I live in Portugal and think nothing of a 4-hour drive. It's not like driving in the UK, with all the traffic and nonsense.

herecomesthehotsteppa · 27/03/2022 10:13

Call the Spanish hotel and ask to be put through to his room!

Eggshausted · 27/03/2022 10:13

Ask him to send you a text once he is checked in. Then check his location.

IEatChocolateForBreakfast · 27/03/2022 10:14

No offence to anyone here including OP, but what kind of relationship would you have with your partner if they say they're going to Portugal for a trip and then end up in Spain because they got the countries mixed up, but then not even mention it to you??

No, "oh gosh, do you know what a silly mistake I've made", or "I got my countries mixed up" etc.

Despite their close proximity and the odd possibility that he could have flown into Faro and driven 4hrs to Spain where he is now, that's a detail my husband or I would never have left out while telling each other of our plans - and admittedly we don't even have the greatest of relationships at the moment.

It does just sound very very odd with the lack of communication going on here.

Hueandcry · 27/03/2022 10:15

I hope you're ok OP Flowers

rwalker · 27/03/2022 10:15

@Norwolf

Find my iphone is never wrong. Technology doesn’t lie, people do. Weird how some people are trying to twist the narration to give his explanation room.

@BadDayForMe don’t let him know you know, play along with whatever game he is playing. When he gets back, you will have known by then. Be patient with it all. And take as much evidence as you can to help u with your decision. Screenshots, bank statements etc.

Can you explain why my iPhone says it's in Birmingham when it's in my house 125 miles away.

Oldest work in IT says it can use the location of the server it's connected through rather than the actual location

DFOD · 27/03/2022 10:15

[quote FairyLightPups]@BadDayForMe - what time and day did he say he landed in Faro? Because we can also check flights from Bristol at that time.[/quote]
This is a good idea - check his “out bound” flight story and timings.

If you did rock up to the airport any OW might well not come through the arrivals gate with him for many reasons - stayed out there, flown back to another airport, said their goodbyes before etc however the mate should be with him even if they leave each other earlier as the mate “had to rush on ahead” because you would have seen him if you were sat there early enough.

However there may well be an innocent explanation - fly into one, out of another, gold road trip - or bad weather so moved on.

Find out about the mate if you can.

Hope it’s all OK.

ZoyaTheDestroyer · 27/03/2022 10:17

Can you explain why my iPhone says it's in Birmingham when it's in my house 125 miles away.

You don’t have location services enabled therefore it is using your IP address. If you enabled location services it would use GPS and would be accurate within metres as long as you are in an area with good cellular coverage.

golddustwomen · 27/03/2022 10:17

@TempName01 I would do this too

Or I would just ring him and ask him straight, also to prove it by sending me a picture of the room service/welcome booklet in the hotel room.

Lunificent · 27/03/2022 10:19

Is the beer brand written on the beer glass in the photo? E.g. Super Bock or Cruzcampo.

UptownWorld · 27/03/2022 10:19

I’d be inclined to message the friends wife but I can’t leave anything… I’m sorry OP. You must be so stressed ❤️

Timeflyin · 27/03/2022 10:20

Exactly @IEatChocolateForBreakfast and why all the cloak and dagger about finding out. IF he is up to no good it will all come out now since op can clearly see he’s in an entirely different country to the he said he was going to . A pp said can’t you think of an excuse to face time , what excuse do you need to FaceTime your husband ? To say hello? What the hell are you doing in Spain? I dunno

Yellow78 · 27/03/2022 10:21

Just call and ask?!