My AirPods are where I thought they were. My husband isn’t!!

[BadDayForMe]

I’ve been reading mumsnet for years but not made an account until now. I can’t talk to anyone in RL and really need some advice please
My DH is on a golfing trip with a work friend in Portugal. I though I would do some housework today and was looking for my AirPods. I couldn’t find them so mentioned to DS that I didn’t want to spend time looking in case I’d left them at work.
He suggested I look on find my iPhone as that would show them. I’ve never used it before but once I reset the Apple ID I got in and saw they were in the house. ( I searched the kitchen and found them behind the pot I drop my keys and stuff in. )
I noticed that this app showed my husbands phone so clicked on it just for a nose
He’s not in Portugal. He’s in Spain!!!!!
Why the fuck would he lie about what country he he’s in unless there is something seriously dodgy going on. I watched him go from a hotel to a
Restaurant, then along the seafront, then back to the same hotel. It can’t be wrong. I can’t sleep. Is he with another woman?
Wtf do I do?????

Go to the wife of his golf partner and wait to see if you can see him that way you will if his friend has gone or not

@ChuckBerrysBoots

Good grief PrettyNails this isn’t an ITV drama premier.

Exactly.

I don't know what's going on here, like everyone else. I'm sorry for OP's distress.
However the amount of 'he's a wanker' posts & excessively dramatic interpretations is crazy.

OP, just talk to him.

Did he leave you with flight & hotel details?

You can't always rely on mobiles for contact & it's good to know the flight being travelled ok!

Don’t panic OP - wait and see if he actually goes to a golf course today. You’ll have the answer to that soon, and then you can go from there.

Or, Facebook message the wife, and be truthful about what’s happened. Ask if her husband is away golfing. She’s less likely to cover up than her husband is.

Best case scenario, he wanted a break on his own so made up a golf excuse and he's spent the last couple of days lounging round the hotel and going for a few walks.

It's something I've sometimes fantasise about doing myself.

He's lied. But it might not be cheating.

My ex-fiance did this. Told me he was going to Crete. I called Gatwick to find out what time his flight as arriving only to discover there was no flight from Crete on that day. Turned out he'd been to Mykonos with his ex girlfriend.

I'm so sorry. It really doesn't look good but I hope there's a reasonable explanation.

@WTF475878237NC

EarringsandLipstick

OP has said in a previous update she's learned from reading here that cheaters lie!

Yes. And if she knows anything about her H, she'll probably know if he's lying. This thread is all that's the worst of MN, for all its good points.

@3luckystars

I agree, and Benalmadena is nowhere near Faro, it’s a 4 hour drive.

He is in Spain.

He has sent a photo by the pool

I can’t understand why you think he is cheating on you? He could cheat in Portugal as easily as Spain?

See what hotel is at that location and call reception and ask to be put through to his room. See who answers the phone.

OP, just do something!

Benalmadena is only a 4-hour drive from Faro...?

And it has this place:
golftorrequebrada.com/

Sorry if someone has already posted this, OP

The weather in both Spain and Portugal is terrible at the minute. If you have a look on any of the Facebook pages of the areas you will see. They had a big sand storm in benelmadena on Wed or Thursday and it left a lot of damage. Definitely isn't sitting by the pool weather. Today is better and yesterday was a good day. I have family out there at the moment and have been getting pics from them.

@NandorTheRelentlessCleaner

I can’t understand why you think he is cheating on you? He could cheat in Portugal as easily as Spain?

If you're not golfing, the Costa del Sol is more geared towards a beach break than a hotel near Faro aimed at golfers.

@NandorTheRelentlessCleaner

I can’t understand why you think he is cheating on you? He could cheat in Portugal as easily as Spain?

The op believes Portugal is a cover story, the old golfing with mates in the algarve chestnut when he is actually in Spain with another woman. This hasn't been proven to be true though.

I think there must be a reasonable explanation. If he had been having an affair, surely, there would have been reg flags before now? And, if he has, I would assume it must have been going on a while, on the basis that you don’t nip off on holiday with someone you’ve just met? How then would he (or she!) NOT have heard about find my iPhone? He set up the ops phone, he must have enabled her on HIS phone? Surely, surely he can’t be THAT dim?

@BadDayForMe

I’m more worried now. I went from the friends Facebook page to the friends wife’s page. She has changed her profile photo today. It’s of her sitting in bed with her 2 little girls. She has a tray with breakfast and a Mother’s Day card on it. Im wondering who has taken a photo of them in bed if the husband is away??

That's quite enlightening. Be glad she did that. Shocking now, but when he's gaslighting you in to believing you're mad, you have that evidence. Screenshot that.

Really feel for you, big hugs and just hope this is one big mix up x

This is a tough one. Hope you managed to get some rest.
As others have said, track his movements today and ask him lightly later what he's been upto, if he's had a good day etc and see if he lies.

Do you know the person/people he's gone with? Have they or their partners put anything on social media which would indicate they've not gone?

Screenshot everything.

Horrid situation for you whatever the truth turns out to be.

Can you makeup an excuse to FaceTime him? A broken electrical item? TV isn't working? You've missed him and wanted to see how he was? The children (if you share any) wanted to see him?

If all else fails ask him to buy you and bring you a box of Portuguese custard tarts. They're everywhere there. He could even get them at the airport and they definitely wont be selling them in Spain!

Can you think of any reason to pop round to his friend's house today? Literally anything? How close are you with the wife?

You can see for yourself then if he's actually on holiday right now, and you can chat to his wife about it.

Someone said you can look at one of his photos and check location on it. Can you do that with a photo he has sent you of the pool?

Look at the Spanish hotel on their website to sea if the pool, tables etc look the same.

Again, if there’s not other issues, I’d just assume he told you the wrong country. It’s Spain and Portugal, literally next door to each other, not “Im going golfing in Portugal” and you’ve caught him clubbing in Las Vegas.