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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My AirPods are where I thought they were. My husband isn’t!!

999 replies

BadDayForMe · 27/03/2022 02:07

I’ve been reading mumsnet for years but not made an account until now. I can’t talk to anyone in RL and really need some advice please
My DH is on a golfing trip with a work friend in Portugal. I though I would do some housework today and was looking for my AirPods. I couldn’t find them so mentioned to DS that I didn’t want to spend time looking in case I’d left them at work.
He suggested I look on find my iPhone as that would show them. I’ve never used it before but once I reset the Apple ID I got in and saw they were in the house. ( I searched the kitchen and found them behind the pot I drop my keys and stuff in. )
I noticed that this app showed my husbands phone so clicked on it just for a nose
He’s not in Portugal. He’s in Spain!!!!!
Why the fuck would he lie about what country he he’s in unless there is something seriously dodgy going on. I watched him go from a hotel to a
Restaurant, then along the seafront, then back to the same hotel. It can’t be wrong. I can’t sleep. Is he with another woman?
Wtf do I do?????

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
katepilar · 27/03/2022 09:35

Without trying to have a go, just wondering - is it usual for partners to go away without leaving details of where they will be staying and what flihts they will be using at home for emergency? I am not married but in my family we always leave that with people who stay at home.

Workinghardeveryday · 27/03/2022 09:35

I would be turning up to that airport without a doubt!!!

Just say it was a surprise etc. Ask him what he wants to do for dinner tomorrow - late Mother’s Day celebration, then ask what time his flight lands.

Blueuggboots · 27/03/2022 09:35

Is he geographically en point? I would know exactly where I was and say so, my other half wouldn't have a clue?!

ememem84 · 27/03/2022 09:35

Also has no one ever flown into one airport before and flown back from another? Did he specifically say he was flying out of faro?

Did he book flights himself? It was it his mate?

I’ve just checked details of flights I’m
Doing next weekend - friend booked them. I’m flying from home into Gatwick then back home from Heathrow. So again maybe he didn’t realise it’s a different airport?

There may well be a logical unsinisgwr explanation.

Maybe friends wife has someone else staying with her? Her mum maybe? Maybe they did Mother’s Day early? Maybe phone on tripod set timer. Maybe it’s an old photo…. Maybe she’s cheating and her boyf took the picture….

DragonMamma · 27/03/2022 09:35

I’m sorry you’re going through this OP - what a shit.

I always find it impressive when people sit on information until people come home etc. I really wouldn’t have the restraint and I’d either be confronting him today or be waiting in Arrivals tomorrow to see who he’s getting off the plane with - presumably he will have his clubs if he’s actually been golfing? I’m a bit crazy and I’d also be tempted to take the spare car key to the airport parking and see if the clubs were still in the car.

But, I tend to lose my mind when it comes to stuff like this so I’m probably not somebody you should listen to Smile

I hope there’s an innocent explanation

ChloeHel · 27/03/2022 09:35

If this was me my investigating skills would be coming out to play big time.

You have no access to his emails or card statements so that’s out of the question.

I’d be ringing the hotel he’s meant to be staying in for starters, just to confirm if he has actually there.

Why don’t FaceTime him today? And make up some lame excuse that you and the kids wanted to FaceTime him for a few minutes so you were all together for Mother’s Day. Ask him how PORTUGAL is? And if he doesn’t mention Spain then you know he’s lying.

Agree with others about getting his flight details too!

tulips27 · 27/03/2022 09:35

@ememem84 On my phone you do it by going to the gallery > share > Google image search. The results would show exact matches (the same photo uploaded somewhere) which there likely wouldn't be for a photo shared between friends, but in the other results it may recognise the location and suggest other photos of that area, particularly if something is in the background that Google can recognise like a landscape, a building, a coastline etc.

FairyLightPups · 27/03/2022 09:35

[quote BadDayForMe]@ididntevennotice I just looked on that site but can just see loads of planes. I can’t think straight to find my way around it.
I guess it won’t be too outing to say he’s flying into Bristol tomorrow afternoon. Can someone see if there’s a flight from faro please[/quote]
OP I am so so sorry and I feel awful for writing this but I just checked on flightradar and there are no flights coming in from Faro tomorrow. There are however two from Malaga. One at 2:55pm. Is that the time he said he was getting in at?

HollowTalk · 27/03/2022 09:35

@timeforteaforyouandme

Think you need some facts Just make an excuse to call the wife of his golf friend or pop round there. Alternatively meet him at the airport otherwise you'll never believe him and if he has been in Portugal and it's the find my iPhone that's wrong for some reason it will keep bothering you
But she doesn't want to have the friend alert her husband.
Coffeepot72 · 27/03/2022 09:35

Just make an excuse to call the wife of his golf friend or pop round there.

Definitely do this

toogoodforthisworld · 27/03/2022 09:35

@BadDayForMe

I’m more worried now. I went from the friends Facebook page to the friends wife’s page. She has changed her profile photo today. It’s of her sitting in bed with her 2 little girls. She has a tray with breakfast and a Mother’s Day card on it. Im wondering who has taken a photo of them in bed if the husband is away??
Can you not send her a message? Saying: 'your husband has take a lovely photo- or did you set up the timer like i sometimes do?! Lol anyway happy mothersday x '
tulips27 · 27/03/2022 09:36

Anyway, hopefully there is a perfectly normal explanation!

HopeIsNotAStrategy · 27/03/2022 09:37

@Teasgonecoldagain

There is a flight from Faro to Bristol landing at 1 pm Jet2.COM, Flight Number LS 1822
For some reason it's not showing me that on the Jet2.com website?
Prettynails · 27/03/2022 09:37

How is he getting home from the airport? Text him and ask him what time he lands ? Go an hour before or even two and sit and wait in arrivals? Thermos etc make sure you look nice etc I’m sure you do and wait. When he appears with or without someone else just say I’ve got your things in the boot - do not let on his you know - leave him squirm and wonder how the heck you found out? Bin bag his clothes etc and any work stuff abd put them all in the boot if the car.

Don’t tell
Him how you know

It will baffle him!

ememem84 · 27/03/2022 09:37

[quote tulips27]@ememem84 On my phone you do it by going to the gallery > share > Google image search. The results would show exact matches (the same photo uploaded somewhere) which there likely wouldn't be for a photo shared between friends, but in the other results it may recognise the location and suggest other photos of that area, particularly if something is in the background that Google can recognise like a landscape, a building, a coastline etc.[/quote]
Thanks! Never worked it out before.

crispsandnuts · 27/03/2022 09:37

Have you checked the garage/shed for got golf clubs? My DP has his all ready before he goes, golf shirts etc lined up

ididntevennotice · 27/03/2022 09:37

It does look like he is going to by flying in from Malaga :(

poppymaewrite · 27/03/2022 09:38

Arrival from Farro 1pm.

In anu event, you need to figure out why he was in Spain and didn’t tell you, even if he goes back to Farro for his flight home.

mumofEandE · 27/03/2022 09:38

I have never cheated nor been cheated on so I maybe do not understand but I just don't get WHY OP's DH would be in a different country? What would that get him?
If 'golfing in Portugal' was really 'shagging in Spain' then surely this 'affair' would already have started at home?
I think there is some entirely reasonable reason (but have the conversation face to face)

WTF475878237NC · 27/03/2022 09:38

I was unwittingly involved with a married man for a few months. When it all came out he had told his wife he was going on a cycling holiday when he took me away for a long weekend. It was a totally believable cover story because it was something he had done for years.

I'm so sorry. The most logical explanation is that he's with someone else. To be honest I would definitely be at the airport in arrivals as well. There is nothing like seeing it for yourself to ensure you never take him back.

ememem84 · 27/03/2022 09:39

@Prettynails

How is he getting home from the airport? Text him and ask him what time he lands ? Go an hour before or even two and sit and wait in arrivals? Thermos etc make sure you look nice etc I’m sure you do and wait. When he appears with or without someone else just say I’ve got your things in the boot - do not let on his you know - leave him squirm and wonder how the heck you found out? Bin bag his clothes etc and any work stuff abd put them all in the boot if the car.

Don’t tell
Him how you know

It will baffle him!

Pretty drastic
ChuckBerrysBoots · 27/03/2022 09:39

i’m going to have to do something. I can’t go on like this until tomorrow.

I wouldn’t say anything OP. You’ll be able to see which airport he’s at via find my iPhone tomorrow. If you say something now he can just disconnect his phone from find my iPhone and you’ll be in the dark. If he flies out of Faro tomorrow then you’ve less to worry about.

Timeinabottle · 27/03/2022 09:39

Please don’t panic.
I live in Portugal and can easily pop over the border for a day or even a few hours for lunch, it’s easily done from Faro.
It’s very possible he flew into Faro but is playing some golf in Spain, there are numerous courses over the border.
He’s also right about the weather, it’s been raining all last week, although was sunny yesterday and overcast today.

3luckystars · 27/03/2022 09:39

Ring his room at the Spanish hotel and hang up if he answers.

Go to the airport tomorrow.

spacehardware · 27/03/2022 09:40

If he's flying into Bristol, there are daily flights to and from Malaga. Portugal is only a couple of times a week - husband and I have ruled out Portugal as weekend get away in the past due to logistical difficulties.