I asked my bf if he is embarrassed by me this is his response . I don’t know what to make of it.

[Yorkshiregurl1]

So, I asked my bf if he’s embarrassed by me as we never venture out of town for food or on day trips etc . This is his response. No one’s ever said anything like this to me so I don’t know what to make of it ?

Being embarrassed about you.
Well I didn’t want to say this but it is the elephant in the room so it’s being noticed so I suppose I’ll be honest. Imagine every time I came to see you I wore odd mismatching shoes would you sit there quietly? You probably would but you would notice and somewhere deep inside you would think ahh FFS!! In the same way I struggle with your make up application and choices. The amount of times I’ve seen squiggly lines or poor application of make up it’s pretty obvious it’s not your skill. The last time I saw you in my head I was thinking what the hell have you done to your eyes that’s probably the worse make up choice and application I’ve seen. It’s at a point I been searching for make up lessons as a gift! So I don’t need to tell you but now that you asked. It shouldn’t bother me but it’s been getting under my skin to a point where I think you look better without it but no you choose bizarre lipstick colours which don’t match you complexion etc. i can categorically say that some of the artwork you done on your face especially around the eyes is the worst I’ve ever seen. I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear but I didn’t want to wake to read this crap aswell.

‘I didn’t want to wake up and read this crap’ would be enough for me to end that relationship. You deserve better, someone who gets excited to see a message from you when they wake up. I’d end the relationship on that basis alone.

Regarding the makeup, I’m not sure I believe him. If true, surely a close friend or relative would’ve tactfully mentioned something long before now? Tell someone close to you what he wrote and ask them to be honest.

Oh that’s a fun idea, ODFOx

Don't post a picture on here. It doesn't matter if you have makeup like Robert Smith in the 80s.
What matters is that your boyfriend is rude to you and doesn't like your look.
Take the makeup lesson for fun and bin him.

@Yorkshiregurl1

I want to post a pic on here . Can anyone please tell me how?

When you click reply click the paper clip symbol and add your photo then click post

How long have you been together?

You said your makeup style hasn't changed since you started dating, and you're in your 40s now.

If you were in your 20s when you started dating, it's possible you've outgrown that style and it's a clumsy way of articulating that.

With that said, there are many types of makeup that suit women in your 40s, you're drawn to the more out there styles and he's said he doesn't really like unnatural styles, so it's unlikely you're going to find something that you feel comfortable in that meets with his preferences. Some men genuinely prefer a women with little to no makeup on - but they don't get to decide what she does or doesn't put on her face.

If you've been dating for 6 months, chuck him. He was attracted to you when you first started going out, and you're unlikely to have physically changed in 6 months to the point that you need to update your makeup. In which case, he's just being cruel to see how much awful behaviour you'll tolerate from him.

What JustLyra said.

This isn't about make up or what age you look, it's about a controlling, mean and disrespectful man behaving badly to see what he can get away with. Bin him off.

And you haven’t dumped him yet? What an absolute colossal bellend he is.

I wouldn't post a picture here. Even if you are Helena Bonham Carter someone is going to say you look awful.

I think if you do post a pic you’ll still be in a win win situation.

If your makeup is a bit wonky, then he’s still a knob.

If it’s fine then he’s an absolute freak. It might be nice for you to know.

@Yorkshiregurl1

Picture of eyes only and makeup?

I quite admire his honest response. You asked the question, he answered it. No waffle.

I agree with @PegasusReturns , I'm the same age as you OP and if I started wearing makeup in the style of my 25 year old sons girlfriend, then I'd look awful.

Do you have fillers or Botox as well? Genuine question as they can age a person or give that 'generic' face.

I'm guessing your boyfriend is a similar age or older and doesn't like the glamorous look. You are who you are and him likewise. Some men like it, some don't.

How long have you been together? Apologies if missed that bit.

To add, I wouldn’t post my whole face, if I were you, just a bit of an eye.

That’s just horrible @Yorkshiregurl1.

I’m assuming you’re good enough for a shag if no one sees you? Just horrible.

I’m in my fifties and love all my makeup and if anyone doesn’t they can fuck off!

We have been together around a year .We have known each other 3 years

I think he's mean and judgmental. You deserve better.

Can you figure out to post a pic? Post one where you are looking down too, maybe that’s the part that’s getting under his skin?

@MakeThingsRight no botox or fillers and my makeup isn't me trying to do young makeup . I just go with what suits my eyeshape etc

So you've asked him why he doesn't take you to places he goes to with his friends and his response is your make up embarrasses him?? Looking at this from a different angle OP, could he be in another relationship (hence not wanting to go out and about with you), you've called him out on his weird behaviour and this is his 'defensive' response? Whatever the reason, he's a dick!

His response is... odd. Not meaning to massively generalise but it's very detailed for a man, I can imagine lipstick might stand out if it's very bold, but he's clearly given this a lot of thought over time.

My ex was very controlling about stuff like this and even he just said 'you wear too much makeup', I don't think he would have been this specific.

Either way, I'm not sure I could get over this. Even if your makeup is shit, if you like it then what does it really matter? What are you supposed to do now? Stop wearing it completely? Take lessons so he isn't ashamed of you? Because I can promise you I know how that ends and it's nowhere good.

OMG - get rid of him. What a horrible message to send someone, especially your partner. If it bothered him he should have said something to you in a much more tactful way, in person, and sooner. He clearly has no respect for you. Honestly, life is too short to be with someone who makes you feel like crap. I'd be more embarrassed to be seen out and about with him - he sounds like a very weak little man.

@cantthinkofabetterusername not showing me any paperclip. Im on my laptop?

Is he gay?

Am I right in thinking new users can't post pictures? Maybe you could pm them to someone and they can post for you.

Why are some poster saying she cannot look younger.

I don’t think anyone said that Actually? People said it’s unusual and unlikely. It’s highly unusual for a woman on her mid forties to look in her twenties and heavy brightly coloured make up which the op classifies as unnatural does usually give the opposite effect. We have all seen heavy unnatural brightly coloured make up and it’s very hard indeed to pull off, never mind make you look younger. Maybe the op does look in her twenties, hopefully she can post a pic, but people aren’t saying it’s not possible, they are saying it’s unusual for someone her age to look so young.

[quote Yorkshiregurl1]@cantthinkofabetterusername not showing me any paperclip. Im on my laptop?[/quote]
You should see Choose File under the posting box, that’s how I’ve posted pictures on here in the past.