I asked my bf if he is embarrassed by me this is his response . I don’t know what to make of it.

[Yorkshiregurl1]

So, I asked my bf if he’s embarrassed by me as we never venture out of town for food or on day trips etc . This is his response. No one’s ever said anything like this to me so I don’t know what to make of it ?

Being embarrassed about you.
Well I didn’t want to say this but it is the elephant in the room so it’s being noticed so I suppose I’ll be honest. Imagine every time I came to see you I wore odd mismatching shoes would you sit there quietly? You probably would but you would notice and somewhere deep inside you would think ahh FFS!! In the same way I struggle with your make up application and choices. The amount of times I’ve seen squiggly lines or poor application of make up it’s pretty obvious it’s not your skill. The last time I saw you in my head I was thinking what the hell have you done to your eyes that’s probably the worse make up choice and application I’ve seen. It’s at a point I been searching for make up lessons as a gift! So I don’t need to tell you but now that you asked. It shouldn’t bother me but it’s been getting under my skin to a point where I think you look better without it but no you choose bizarre lipstick colours which don’t match you complexion etc. i can categorically say that some of the artwork you done on your face especially around the eyes is the worst I’ve ever seen. I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear but I didn’t want to wake to read this crap aswell.

@saleorbouy

He's not a makeup fan and perhaps more of a au natural kind of beauty guy. You asked, he answered honestly.

The last time I saw you in my head I was thinking what the hell have you done to your eyes that’s probably the worse make up choice and application I’ve seen. It’s at a point I been searching for make up lessons as a gift!

This isn't 'answering honestly', it's being a cunt.

He didn't need to be so nasty and so cruel. He was specific to the point he was trying to hurt her feelings not spare them or minimise her hurt.

God I despair at the excuses people make for men being horrible to women.

You can be honest with someone you've been dating without being a complete arsehole to them.

Funny how he wasn't so put off by her make up that he stopped seeing / kissing / shagging her isn't it? Just wanted her to feel shit about herself and stay meekly hidden away so she was neatly compartmentalised for him.

Good on her for confronting it and hopefully she'll block the eejit.

@Fritilleries

This has to be a wind-up. He sounds like an absolute bell-end.

This cant be real surely?

I don't like the HD brow look but I think your eyes look fab Op - you look beautiful.

He's an idiot - and very shallow.

Bin him! What a cock!

He can't string a literate few sentences together, he is in no position to criticise.

"I like my winged eyeliner Etc "

Ah

funk..av read through comments..doll. i repeat ...you shouldnt be even querying the embarssed thing.
tha alone=hes a cnut
"men dont like make up/gang banged crayola"is a bucket of pish.
whilst im inclined to HATE current day rectify(?) facial stuff ...before even hit high school
what he said..was I DIDNT wanna wake up to read this crap AS WELL.
how charitable has he been,get that out your vision.

[quote Yorkshiregurl1]@FridaynightCry I responded to him this morning but I think im still upset, stunned and numb. I need to sleep on it and see what I need to do.
I appreciate every response from everyone one here . It lets me see what perspective others see this situation with and maybe not as biased as my friends are.
Thank you guys[/quote]
Don't sleep on it, chuck the twat.

He doesn't appreciate or like you, he likes the idea of you he has in his head that he is trying to bully you and manipulate you I to being.

Throw every item of clothing away that he's bought and wear what you like. Let your hair down and wear it how you want. Put all the make up on that you want. Then find someone that thinks you look amazing, which I can guarantee you will be pretty easy, certainly easier than staying with a manipulative wank badger.

Op you look fucking gorgeous, stunning. You are far too good for the likes of him. Plenty of men would appreciate a gorgeous women like yourself. Get rid

Oh cringe!

He was unnecessarily and possibly cruelly descriptive, but maybe he felt he was being cruel to be kind so you knew 'exactly' what the problem was. Either way - this relationship is over. You will never feel confident or comfortable with him again.

BUT

We need people to tell us the truth. And as mortifying as that is, it IS a good thing. We very often don't see ourselves as others do. Heavy eye make up is a hard look to pull off, and you need large features to carry it well. I see many women with really bad eye make up. Usually eye liner or brows. I'd never say anything as it isn't my place but I do wonder if they looked in the mirror before they left the house They did look in the mirror of course, but they didn't SEE themselves objectively. It is astonishingly common. I remember a woman in a pub at new year had so much mascara on her eyelids were drooping. She must have thought she looked amazing!

Also on the point about compliments. I know women who compliment other women on things that look terrible as some sort of weird reverse insult thing. My mum and her friends are like this and it is so catty. Usually if you look good people don't say anything. I'm always wary now if people focus on something to compliment it.

@Bigbonesmeatandgravy

He's deflecting because he doesn't want to talk about the real reason he doesn't want to be seen with you. He's insulted you and changed your train of thought so now you're worrying about your looks and no longer focused on him - mission complete.

Yep.

Something going on there and he's very keen not to get onto the real subject.

Funny how ops makeup application has apparently made him reluctant to be seen in public with her, but presumably not affected him having sex with her in private.

He's probably engaged to some poor woman back in the ol country and his family and their acquaintances can't see him dating here or something.

That is insulting, even if your makeup skills really were terrible (which they are not) his attitude is all wrong. I think you are beautiful and if he loves seeing you without makeup then he could be complimenting you when you are not wearing it but his message is nasty.

I've actually just gone back and seen your make up and if that's you then I am baffled as it was not what I was expecting! I was expecting more imgur.com/DLOJ6m3 (credit Reddit)

He doesn't want to tell you the reason why he won't take you anywhere so instead has chosen to attack you as a deflection. From your photo you are clearly a very beautiful woman. Please don't waste any more time with this arsehole. His reply to you was despicable. He clearly cares nothing for you. I can't believe you haven't already dumped him. Anyone that spoke to me like that wouldn't see me for dust.

I'm of Indian origin. I would dump him. There are a lot of decent Indian guys out there. You are beautiful, your eyes and make-up is beautiful. He is negging you as you are out of his league.
Toss him back into the ocean and stop doubting yourself.

Is that really a photo of the OP? It looks professional quality from a makeup shoot and nobody would say that it's caked on, no matter how much of an idiot. It's not a selfie as the photographer is reflected in the eyes.

Dump him. Seriously, what the hell? Your make up is lovely, it's dreadful that you felt obliged to post a picture. As it happens it's great, but it's nobody's business but yours, surely.

There's no going back from his response is there. Nasty. You deserve far better. I would get rid of him and find a man who loves the real you. Good Luck OP x

If he doesn’t make you smile then ditch him. Forever is a long time. He is wasting yours.

Presumably you wore makeup when you met each other and it didn’t put him off then? Your make up is not the point (even though it’s absolutely normal and you’re clearly beautiful from your pic) The point is he is being purposely hurtful. Even if your makeup was terrible (which it isn’t) then there are kind and loving ways to make positive suggestions. This abusive gas lighting and it’s definitely time to get out.
You deserve so, so much better.

Wow. That was a horrible message he sent you. My DH is honest and blunt, but he’s never cruel.

If someone is trying to change you, that’s a red flag. I suspect that if you stay with this man you’ll end up insecure and anxious and desperate to please and never achieving it because men like this can’t be pleased, they enjoy putting other people down.

But the wonderful news is that you aren’t married to him, you can just walk away!

Find someone who likes you and treats you with respect - or at least, the same level of basic courtesy that he shows to his work colleagues.

[quote Yorkshiregurl1]@FeckTheMagicDragon he prefers me to wear my hair back or up which I do . Clothes wise he has bought me the style he likes and I have bought some of that style too but I don't always wear that when we are together. He's not said I have to wear the clothes he prefers when I'm with him.[/quote]
Sounds controlling as well as nasty.

I think your eyes look amazing! Not what I pictured after the post.
If he’s telling you how to wear your hair and clothes, not in a “you look nice today” way then get rid.