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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I asked my bf if he is embarrassed by me this is his response . I don’t know what to make of it.

748 replies

Yorkshiregurl1 · 20/03/2022 14:16

So, I asked my bf if he’s embarrassed by me as we never venture out of town for food or on day trips etc . This is his response. No one’s ever said anything like this to me so I don’t know what to make of it ?

Being embarrassed about you.
Well I didn’t want to say this but it is the elephant in the room so it’s being noticed so I suppose I’ll be honest. Imagine every time I came to see you I wore odd mismatching shoes would you sit there quietly? You probably would but you would notice and somewhere deep inside you would think ahh FFS!! In the same way I struggle with your make up application and choices. The amount of times I’ve seen squiggly lines or poor application of make up it’s pretty obvious it’s not your skill. The last time I saw you in my head I was thinking what the hell have you done to your eyes that’s probably the worse make up choice and application I’ve seen. It’s at a point I been searching for make up lessons as a gift! So I don’t need to tell you but now that you asked. It shouldn’t bother me but it’s been getting under my skin to a point where I think you look better without it but no you choose bizarre lipstick colours which don’t match you complexion etc. i can categorically say that some of the artwork you done on your face especially around the eyes is the worst I’ve ever seen. I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear but I didn’t want to wake to read this crap aswell.

OP posts:
contrelamontre · 20/03/2022 18:56

Assuming that photos is you... you are not my friend but look very, very similar... and she is 43 and can still gets ID requests to have to prove she's over 25!

But that's a side issue. What is really upsetting is that she is really intelligent, hard-working, thoughtful, kind (as well as beautiful) and I've had to have exactly the same kind of conversations with her as all the posters here are having with you.

I know it is very upsetting taking this all in... but get rid of him. He doesn't even deserve a response from you to be honest but I imagine you will feel the need to have some sort of further interaction with him... but you need to have faith that everyone here is telling you the truth. Get rid. He's an absolute prick. Irrespective of your photo, he's shown himself to be an absolute prick. It's not about your photo. It's about him being a horrible person.

LoisLane66 · 20/03/2022 18:58

If you outline your lips in a noticeable way, if you wear ridiculously long eyelashes, if you wear garish eye-shadow badly applied, if you fill in your eyebrows to look like caterpillars, if you have 1970s eyeliner...then yes, you need to go to a department store which has a beauty counter, like Debenhams, House of Fraser or John Lewis and they will advise and give you an honest opinion.
Men aren't generally known for being tactful but he doesn't want his mates to laugh at him or send texts asking him why you don't use a mirror. Word would get round among the crowd and that's not desirable, for him or for you.
Maybe YOU think it looks ok but perhaps it's really not a good look.
Truth hurts but you can get professional help.

fedoratheexplorer0 · 20/03/2022 19:01

I'm definitely not one to say this willy nilly but honestly LTB!!

Longbin · 20/03/2022 19:01

@LoisLane66 did you look at the photo OP posted? Her makeup skills are amazing! I don’t think it’s a case of ‘truth hurts’ at all

Scout2016 · 20/03/2022 19:03

Your make up looks great.
Is he trying to make you less obviously / stereotypically attractive - hair up, no make up? Are the clothes he gets you more plain than your tastes? I'm wondering if he's trying to make you a wallflower.
(Not that there's anything wrong with no make up.)
Whatever his motivation he's horrible and you are better off without him.

FeckTheMagicDragon · 20/03/2022 19:03

LoisLane you haven’t looked at the flipping picture have you? Just plopped an unpleasant comment and ran. Her eyes are gorgeous, her make up looks like it was done professionally.

This is not about makeup. This is about her boyfriend, someone who should live her, deliberately making her feel bad about herself because she called him out. He’s the twat here.

LoisLane66 · 20/03/2022 19:03

Yes, it's the eyebrows. You have lovely eyes but too much liner and the eyebrows are unnatural. Who has eyebrows that are boxy on the inner corners?
TBH that reminds me of the women at the bar at last week's Cheltenham festival. Clones.

DillDanding · 20/03/2022 19:03

When you start to find your partner this irritating, it’s the death knell. If he loves you, he’d not be picking your appearance apart in this way.

I am intrigued about the makeup though 🤔

CambsAlways · 20/03/2022 19:04

Thanks everyone for showing me link to the pic, I ask as I’m a beauty consultant , I was actually expecting your make up to look much worse than it is, your eyes are made up very well

LoisLane66 · 20/03/2022 19:04

@FTMD
X posts.

fedoratheexplorer0 · 20/03/2022 19:05

I just wanted to add, I've just seen the photo you posted and your make-up is lovely. How on earth he considers it bizarre or poorly done is beyond me. What a twat!

Cyclemarine · 20/03/2022 19:06

We’ve seen her eye makeup and it doesn’t fit what you describe. Her looks good. And even if it didn’t do you honestly think it’s acceptable to enter a relationship with someone knowing you hate their style so much you intend to keep them hidden away like a dirty secret? I like well dressed men, but I have dated non well dressed men and not been embarrassed because I cared about them more then the potential for some stranger to be raising their eyebrows at them.

I do wonder how low must a person’s self esteem be to worry so much about your partner having a ‘bad’ fashion or make up style that you won’t enjoy things with them outside the house? Lol I’d only be embarrassed by a man who was rude or aggressive in public.

KeepingAnOpenMind · 20/03/2022 19:07

I was wondering if he is gay as I can’t think any heterosexual men would write in such a detailed way about makeup. It was almost like it was written by a woman.

Longbin · 20/03/2022 19:07

@LoisLane66 there is nothing wrong with her eyebrows!! I’ve never know anyone to text people about someone not using a mirror, even if she had no eyebrow, I can imagine most guys have better things to message each other about

DillDanding · 20/03/2022 19:08

Missed the photo. That’s perfectly nice makeup. It’s quite heavy though, especially those eyebrows, so maybe that’s his issue?

Anyway, it’s not about your makeup. He’s clearly finding any excuse so I’d be binning him.

Cyclemarine · 20/03/2022 19:08

@LoisLane66

If you outline your lips in a noticeable way, if you wear ridiculously long eyelashes, if you wear garish eye-shadow badly applied, if you fill in your eyebrows to look like caterpillars, if you have 1970s eyeliner...then yes, you need to go to a department store which has a beauty counter, like Debenhams, House of Fraser or John Lewis and they will advise and give you an honest opinion. Men aren't generally known for being tactful but he doesn't want his mates to laugh at him or send texts asking him why you don't use a mirror. Word would get round among the crowd and that's not desirable, for him or for you. Maybe YOU think it looks ok but perhaps it's really not a good look. Truth hurts but you can get professional help.
We’ve seen her eye makeup and it doesn’t fit what you describe. Her looks good. And even if it didn’t do you honestly think it’s acceptable to enter a relationship with someone knowing you hate their style so much you intend to keep them hidden away like a dirty secret? I like well dressed men, but I have dated non well dressed men and not been embarrassed because I cared about them more then the potential for some stranger to be raising their eyebrows at them.

I do wonder how low must a person’s self esteem be to worry so much about your partner having a ‘bad’ fashion or make up style that you won’t enjoy things with them outside the house? Lol I’d only be embarrassed by a man who was rude or aggressive in public.

scoobydoo1971 · 20/03/2022 19:08

I would write the following in eyeliner for him: "You are dumped, you loser".

cttd1 · 20/03/2022 19:08

Literally dump him I have nothing else to say

Holskey · 20/03/2022 19:09

You look beautiful and your eye make-up is very well done (on the heavy side for every day but that's up to you). I personally don't like the unnatural eyebrow look but I know it's popular and it's not weird or messy.

No need to be with this guy when there's no shortage who would appreciate you and fond you attractive.

billy1966 · 20/03/2022 19:10

That photo is simply stunning.

SilverMakeUpBag · 20/03/2022 19:10

Your eyes looked lovely to me.

Bin him, he sounds nasty.

LoisLane66 · 20/03/2022 19:11

Most men are not fans of the sort of masks women wear nowadays. Why the need to plaster your face with layers of colour...unless of course you need to hide it.
YouTube has thousands/millions of makeup tutorials and many of the girls/women have imperfect skin and spots which they cover with umpteen layers of make-up. Not letting your skin breathe isn't a good idea.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 20/03/2022 19:12

@LoisLane66

Yes, it's the eyebrows. You have lovely eyes but too much liner and the eyebrows are unnatural. Who has eyebrows that are boxy on the inner corners? TBH that reminds me of the women at the bar at last week's Cheltenham festival. Clones.
Leaving aside the nasty last sentence, what man has ever dumped a woman because her eyebrows are boxy on the inner corner? Another ltb.
fuckoffImcounting · 20/03/2022 19:12

He is a cunt. He does not like going out because he is a world class bore and so is negging you. Fuck his shit then fuck it once more.

Mmmmmmbop90 · 20/03/2022 19:13

Run for the hills

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