I asked my bf if he is embarrassed by me this is his response . I don’t know what to make of it.

[Yorkshiregurl1]

So, I asked my bf if he’s embarrassed by me as we never venture out of town for food or on day trips etc . This is his response. No one’s ever said anything like this to me so I don’t know what to make of it ?

Being embarrassed about you.
Well I didn’t want to say this but it is the elephant in the room so it’s being noticed so I suppose I’ll be honest. Imagine every time I came to see you I wore odd mismatching shoes would you sit there quietly? You probably would but you would notice and somewhere deep inside you would think ahh FFS!! In the same way I struggle with your make up application and choices. The amount of times I’ve seen squiggly lines or poor application of make up it’s pretty obvious it’s not your skill. The last time I saw you in my head I was thinking what the hell have you done to your eyes that’s probably the worse make up choice and application I’ve seen. It’s at a point I been searching for make up lessons as a gift! So I don’t need to tell you but now that you asked. It shouldn’t bother me but it’s been getting under my skin to a point where I think you look better without it but no you choose bizarre lipstick colours which don’t match you complexion etc. i can categorically say that some of the artwork you done on your face especially around the eyes is the worst I’ve ever seen. I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear but I didn’t want to wake to read this crap aswell.

Can’t see a pic of your make up I’d love to see it! Can someone tell me what number page it’s on please

@Ohsugarhoneyicetea

He is a deeply controlling person and this behaviour will escalate in direct correlation to your loss of self esteem. Protect yourself and end it now.

This.

How long have you been with him? Have you met his family/friends? Does he have kids? How sure are you that he's not married?

I'm asking because he sounds like a horrible boyfriend.

I guess when you got together he lovebombed you - showered you with compliments and attention. You no doubt wonder what happened to that man. The truth is he never existed - it was just a mask he wore in order to 'get' you.

Now he's got you, the mask is coming off.

I would reply: ‘Thanks for being honest. You can’t help how you feel and I’m grateful you were able to tell me the truth about this. I’m really happy with the way I look, I enjoy wearing make up and have no intention of changing. I don’t want to be with someone that doesn’t love me the way I am, and is embarrassed to be seen with me, life is too short. In the interest of being completely clear, as I know you value being upfront and honest, I am breaking up with you. Yours. OP.

I know I can only see your eyes- but your make up looks great to me (and that is a million miles from the point anyway), you look lovely. You don’t need to feel like this OP

@FridaynightCry I responded to him this morning but I think im still upset, stunned and numb. I need to sleep on it and see what I need to do.
I appreciate every response from everyone one here . It lets me see what perspective others see this situation with and maybe not as biased as my friends are.
Thank you guys

I was honestly expecting something dreadful but you look perfectly normal/fine.

What a weirdo.

Are you sure he's not married?

@CambsAlways click on ‘see all’ of OP’s posts.

He just wants someone to have sex with and doesn't want the effort of a real relationship with you OP.

The stuff about the make up is just an excuse for not taking you out, it's bullshit.

Even if you are only looking for a fuck buddy you can do a lot better for yourself. Kick this sad loser to the kerb.

@Yorkshiregurl1

ibb.co/QNQLGvD

here we go

I have been trying to do my eyeliner like that for years and still it looks like I apply it with my feet! Your eyes and eye make up is beautiful, he is horrible

I wish I could do my eye make up like you do! You look beautiful and it’s a shame someone would feel intimidated by this. He’s told you how he feels so move on. Find an amazing person who loves the effort you make to look like this and feels proud to be with you. The silver fox can have his fill of soulless prototype dates afterwards and you can be happy with someone who loves you for who you are. He will be single for a very long time. You won’t be.

OP, you are super-hot. Your makeup looks great and your eyes are amazing. You have literally nothing to worry about. There are a few possible reasons for that crappy message you received this morning:

1. He’s still playing the field or has a wife/ another girlfriend and doesn’t want his friends or family to know about you. The make up jibe is an excuse to ‘explain’ why he doesn’t want to be seen with you.

1. He’s negging you. The chances are that you are out of his league and so he’s trying to bring you down a peg or two so you’ll be grateful to be with him.

1. He doesn’t want to take you out in case his mates fancy you.
2. He’s trying to control and isolate you - he’s already buying to clothes and telling you how to do your hair, now he’s attacking your make up, next he’ll be complaining about your friends or family.

None of those scenarios are good. What do you get out of the relationship?

@Yorkshiregurl1 your makeup application is amazing and I have makeup envy!

The problem isn’t your makeup. The problem is your partner and how he shared his opinion. Honestly if someone had said something like that to me they would be gone. Imagine a lifetime of feedback in such a callous and character destroying manner?

The clothes he prefers you wear - how do the styles vary against your normal preferences? Is he trying to get you to pair down your makeup/clothing to make you a meeker/milder/quieter little woman? Is he trying to mould you into the woman he prefers?

I think you sound fabulous and deserve a silver fox who appreciates your inner and outer beauty fully.

He is absolutely trying to insult you and damage your self esteem as a means of control and he is a cunt.

Your make up is very beautiful and well applied. It is more than what I wear (mainly as I do not have your skill and cannot be bothered) but it still looks lovely.

It's definitely not about your make-up. It's about control. He already has you wearing your hair like he wants. You wear the clothes that he wants. Now he's working on getting you to change your make-up. Then he'll probably "reward" you by taking you out. You're already spending more time worrying about his opinion of you than he's worth. Honestly, grown men don't care about that stuff. Most don't even notice it. Even fewer think they're entitled to an opinion on it.

Op, dump him. He doesn't love you and you deserve so much better.

Frankly, some of the language he used would make me think he was secretly gay or at least heavily metro-sexual. I wouldn't have a problem with a man saying he generally preferred less or more make up on a woman, but to say I need 'makeup lessons'? No. I'd find someone being so heavily into my 'make up choices and application' a turn off

That being said, I like the way my makeup looks and the way I dress. If a man doesn't them he can bog off. The days of wearing clothes, hair, makeup to 'please a man' are long gone!!!

@Yorkshiregurl1

ibb.co/QNQLGvD

here we go

Is this you in the picture? Or just what you aspire to do with your make up?

If it is you, you are extremely talented at make up application. I think it looks fantastic! Your DP is a prick for saying otherwise. I spend a lot of time on make up and have done for years but couldn’t achieve a wing like yours. Don’t stop what you’re doing for him!

Your eyes are beautiful as is the eye make up. I would personally go lighter on the eyebrows. He is just jealous and does not want anyone else looking at you. He is not treating you well. Does not take you anywhere and do anything. This is not how a relationship should be. For that letter alone I would dump him as he will try to control you, as you said in how you dress, he does not want your lovely hair flowing down, but tied back. All controlling. Read up about boundaries and red flags. You deserve someone that treats you better and if he goes out with his female friends, are you sure he is not dating any of them so does not want to be seen with you.

I was disappointed with the picture as I was expecting a really crazy look whereas you look totally normal (nothing wrong at all with that make up).

Come on, OP - you know you have to bin this one.

OP from your picture I can’t see anything wrong, in fact you have stunning eyes. He sounds pretty disrespectful and uncaring, and pretty much way off the mark. Perhaps he needs to think about some of his choices of what he says to other people. The way to make a decision with regards to how to proceed (or not proceed) with this relationship is to ask yourself how you’d react if this was said to a friend of yours,

I agree it’s not even about the make up (which btw is beautifully applied and accentuates your eye shape well). He knew what type of makeup style you had and still chose to enter a relationship with you and it’s only now he has told you because you asked. If you are too embarrassed to be seen in public with your partner you probably don’t really care about or love them. It means you are valuing other people’s opinions over making them feel cherished. I suspect he isn’t embarrassed but may have other girls on the go or is just putting you down. Whatever option it is it sounds like a very unhealthy relationship and his response shows a high level of contempt for you. Red flags everywhere! A man told me similar in my 20s, said I was scruffy and that’s why he didn’t take me out. I dropped him almost immediately but later on it turned out he was
juggling a number of women and he also had ‘secret’ children hidden away too. It really says more about them than you.

OP. Regardless of what anyone thinks. On here or even in the real world.
Don't change yourself for anyone else. Just do you. Paint yourself like a clown if you want or draw on a handlebar moustache everyday till your 70 lol. Someone will love you for you.
I still can't get over how nasty he was in his message.

Bottom line, do you want to be with a man who doesn't like the way you look? I know I wouldn't. It will eat away at your self esteem until there's none left.

[quote Yorkshiregurl1]@poppym12
He's neither. Just a regular guy that works in an office.[/quote]
It sounds controlling to me. You deserve better. There's nothing wrong with your makeup. Wear it for you, how you want to wear it.

He's told you who he is; now walk away, otherwise before you know it he'll be telling you what to wear, who to see, what job to take (speaking from personal experience). He will ruin your life, and you deserve a good life, away from numpties like this.

I was thankfully only with the Twat Boyfriend from Hell for a very short time, but it took me years before I really got over him. He's making some other poor sod miserable now (she's significantly younger than he is).

@RicherThanYew

Even if you deliberately chose to plaster your face in Maybelline eyeshadow like an abstract Jackson Pollock, he doesn't get to make you feel bad about yourself. You can do better than this odd person.

This!