I asked my bf if he is embarrassed by me this is his response . I don’t know what to make of it.

[Yorkshiregurl1]

So, I asked my bf if he’s embarrassed by me as we never venture out of town for food or on day trips etc . This is his response. No one’s ever said anything like this to me so I don’t know what to make of it ?

Being embarrassed about you.
Well I didn’t want to say this but it is the elephant in the room so it’s being noticed so I suppose I’ll be honest. Imagine every time I came to see you I wore odd mismatching shoes would you sit there quietly? You probably would but you would notice and somewhere deep inside you would think ahh FFS!! In the same way I struggle with your make up application and choices. The amount of times I’ve seen squiggly lines or poor application of make up it’s pretty obvious it’s not your skill. The last time I saw you in my head I was thinking what the hell have you done to your eyes that’s probably the worse make up choice and application I’ve seen. It’s at a point I been searching for make up lessons as a gift! So I don’t need to tell you but now that you asked. It shouldn’t bother me but it’s been getting under my skin to a point where I think you look better without it but no you choose bizarre lipstick colours which don’t match you complexion etc. i can categorically say that some of the artwork you done on your face especially around the eyes is the worst I’ve ever seen. I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear but I didn’t want to wake to read this crap aswell.

What is he a drag Queen? What bloke would go into that much detail about make up? What an odd ball! Dump him!

@LBFseBrom I sent the message very early in the morning . It was 4 am as it was playing on my mind because of a phone conversation saturday night. He responded when he saw it this morning.

OP you are absolutely stunning and your make-up is absolutely expertly applied. It's a heavier look than I'd chose but so what? It's your (extremely pretty) face, not mine.

He's not only a cruel twat but quite frankly a total weirdo, I don't know what he's playing at but I can tell you know there are many blokes out there who would give their left nut to have someone like you, so my advice would be dump him and find one of them instead.

[quote Yorkshiregurl1]@LBFseBrom I sent the message very early in the morning . It was 4 am as it was playing on my mind because of a phone conversation saturday night. He responded when he saw it this morning.[/quote]
To be fair though, I don’t think that’s ok either. Not the same level of crime but certainly not acceptable.

@WallaceinAnderland

I can see his point. He didn't just tell you this, you asked and he gave an honest answer. Without seeing it, no one can here can tell if your application really does look bad. It's a bit like having to tell your partner they have BO or their breath smells. It's not being unkind for the sake of it, it's trying to help the other person not look odd/smell weird/whatever.

Yes, is there a photo op? His delivery is shite so bin him off, but maybe he has a point.....

Also, now I've seen the photo, PLEASE could you teach me how to do those eyes, your eyeliner is boss.

I’m so annoyed for you. Has he ever done anything like this before to control you? It’s like training a pet for some men. Pet does something they sone like, pet us punished. Pet grovels. Pet doesn’t do it again.

You called him out on excluding you. He didn’t like it. He’s punishing you. He expects you to grovel and apologise. Expects you NEVER to call him out on anything again.

The only logical response to that message is to dump him. Goodness knows why he won't go out and about with you but I can guarantee it's not your make up. Get rid, you definitely deserve better.

OP, you are beautiful. My exH (Pakistani in case it's culturally relevant) used to say exactly these things to me. He even said I looked awful in a dress and should always wear trousers. That he'd leave me if I gained weight. The make up comments were the icing on the cake.
Turns out that kind of look is ok for other women. Just not his woman.

I don't know whether it's relevant, but I do think he is negging you and is threatened by how you look. By the attention you can get from your looks. It's awful.
This does not get any better.
You are worth more.
You are beautiful-clearly so.
Dump him.

@giggle
try kat Von D tattoo liner

In my twenties and thirties I had many Indian friends. They were super glam on a night out but toned it down when with their (Indian) relatives. Is your Indian boyfriend just more conservative because of his culture? Maybe he is worried that his relatives will disapprove of your look because it is very strong. It doesn’t make his response right but maybe he is walking a cultural tightrope?

@gigglewater
try kat Von D tattoo liner

I think you do as you say wear heavy make up but it’s your choice! If he doesn’t like it sounds like you are not compatible so you know your choices.

@ehb102

What he didn't say was "I'd love to take you to meet my friends but I'd like you to tone the makeup down please."

So if you change the makeup I bet £10 on there being something else next.

Honestly, who wants to be with someone who likes you enough to have sex with you but not be seen with in public? Last time I made that mistake I was 17, and even then it felt badly.

I don't think men like this actually like the women they have sex with. I think they have completely no respect for them at all. Sorry I think you need to dump him ASAP.

This is unpleasant and controlling in much the same way men who say they prefer women without makeup at all are. Bin him.

@WinniePig Its not likely his relatives would see us if we were going somewhere out of town etc so that doesn't make sense .Its down to personal preference but I feel the fact that I was slated about my makeup skills is unfair.

@Yorkshiregurl1 thank you!

I looked at your photo link and you should dump your bf. Your makeup looks great. Yes, it’s an obviously made up look. But it’s not an outrageous social faux pas to prefer a more made up look, just as it’s not an outrageous social faux pas to wear zero make up. It’s fine for someone to have a personal preference about how much makeup they find attractive, but it’s utter ridiculous to start a relationship with someone who prefers more make up and then tell them that this is too embarrassing to be seen in public with. You have to love relationship partner’s as they are, and not for what you imagine you can manipulate them into being. HIBVU. Don’t start changing yourself for him, it will end badly.

@FeckTheMagicDragon
I guess I could answer your question with a yes as he has expressed preferences for my hair and clothes?

Ask him to do your make up for you if he's such an expert!

Your make up looked fine to me. I wish I could do mine like you can - I've never been able to master eyeliner.

Seriously though he sounds like a complete tool. I'd be telling him I was basing my wonky lines on his wonky dick!

OP, I'm going to guess he has a wife/girlfriend and that's why he won't go out with you in public where he lives.

You already feel insecure and fear he's embarrassed by you. Now he's verbally attacked you to stop you from asking awkward questions.

You need to dump him. This isn't a relationship worth saving.

Those saying 'You asked, he answered' miss the point that he answered in excruciating, unnecessary detail.

OP, you've sussed him and called him to account. He's attempting to divert you by criticising you in a really nasty way. It's a smoke screen because you've noticed his behaviour.

Time to ditch him.

Yes I second the idea he's a two timing arse. He doesn't want to get caught and so has made out that you're at fault. You obvs aren't and he really doesn't deserve you.

[quote Yorkshiregurl1]@WinniePig Its not likely his relatives would see us if we were going somewhere out of town etc so that doesn't make sense .Its down to personal preference but I feel the fact that I was slated about my makeup skills is unfair.[/quote]
Maybe he’s just going about things in a really round about way. He wants you to tone it down but rather than just say that he makes up a daft excuse about your make up skills? I would have a good chat with your friends and see what they think as they know you, your BF and your make up best. You’ve had lots of reassurance here that your make up is absolutely fine so no need to feel embarrassed.

Honestly if a man said that about me even if I did do out there makeup I’d be reconsidering the relationship.

So for me, off you fuck would be my response to him.