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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I asked my bf if he is embarrassed by me this is his response . I don’t know what to make of it.

748 replies

Yorkshiregurl1 · 20/03/2022 14:16

So, I asked my bf if he’s embarrassed by me as we never venture out of town for food or on day trips etc . This is his response. No one’s ever said anything like this to me so I don’t know what to make of it ?

Being embarrassed about you.
Well I didn’t want to say this but it is the elephant in the room so it’s being noticed so I suppose I’ll be honest. Imagine every time I came to see you I wore odd mismatching shoes would you sit there quietly? You probably would but you would notice and somewhere deep inside you would think ahh FFS!! In the same way I struggle with your make up application and choices. The amount of times I’ve seen squiggly lines or poor application of make up it’s pretty obvious it’s not your skill. The last time I saw you in my head I was thinking what the hell have you done to your eyes that’s probably the worse make up choice and application I’ve seen. It’s at a point I been searching for make up lessons as a gift! So I don’t need to tell you but now that you asked. It shouldn’t bother me but it’s been getting under my skin to a point where I think you look better without it but no you choose bizarre lipstick colours which don’t match you complexion etc. i can categorically say that some of the artwork you done on your face especially around the eyes is the worst I’ve ever seen. I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear but I didn’t want to wake to read this crap aswell.

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 20/03/2022 17:04

Are you Indian but he’s not? Do you think there’s some racism here?
He thinks your eye make up accentuates your non Caucasian features and he doesn’t like it?
Just dump the Dickhead whatever the reasons though

FridaynightCry · 20/03/2022 17:05

It doesn't matter what your makeup looks like, there's ways of talking to someone. He's a dick, he's not a wordsmith and frankly, you should dump him for being such a horrible bastard. That text is brutal, it's just not nice to read at all.

That being said, I will say that personally although your makeup is GORGEOUS, it's a bit heavy for my liking for an everyday look, but I'd beg you to do my makeup for a night out though! The liner is flawless.

No matter what my personal taste is, I would not want to be with someone who didn't love and appreciate my appearance, I have friends who even in their 30s still rock 'emo' makeup and I love them for it. Any man who has an issue with that can be binned.

Find a man who appreciates the time and effort you put into yourself. He's a twat

Lookingforanswers202 · 20/03/2022 17:05

Here come the men to tell us we’re wrong Hmm

WelshyMaud · 20/03/2022 17:05

Throw this one back op.

The issue isn't that he dislikes your make up. That message is downright spiteful with total unnecessary detail. He's a cunt and you deserve better.

Orchidsonthetable · 20/03/2022 17:05

@crispmidnightpeace

My husband is also very image conscious and has said similar to me over the years but it's always followed with ‘shall I take you shopping?’ or ‘what make-up do you need?’ I’m a slob in ways and I've never had much of a fashion sense. He wears designer stuff and always looks great and makes sure our child does too, and he makes sure I do too. I'm glad as I can't be bothered.
This is very sad, but I’m sure you know deep down it’s not good and there is nothing wrong with the ops make up. This man has been abusive because he doesn’t wish people to know he’s with her.
SpinningTheSeedsOfLove · 20/03/2022 17:06

Sounds like he's making up absolute crap to cover up for the fact he's either not actually single or he's up to something in other towns.

Or like @thenewduchessoflapland says, he's copied and pasted a rather horrible text about you from one of his 'friends'.

The 'mismatched shoes' opening allusion is very strange, and likely all his own work though.

Original poster
Yorkshiregurl1 · 20/03/2022 17:06

@Hoppinggreen we are both indian

OP posts:
SerenaB12 · 20/03/2022 17:06

Negging, my horrible ex did this to me too, i was too insecure to see it for what it was, i would suggest you move on from this asshole, hes your boyfriend, no one held a gun to his head, he knows what you look like and should respect and love you for who you are, even if your eyeliner is wonky (which i don't believe is at all!!) Shitty messages from him, designed to bring your confidence down, be with people who lift you, not demean you.. he sounds like he may have control issues, is probably really nice to you but adept at saying things and doing things (eg NOT taking you out) which is contradictory to everything someone who loves you should be behaving
Listen to what he said, read the words and ask yourself should you have to hear that from anyone let alone your partner? Good luck xx

cultkid · 20/03/2022 17:06

Is English his second language
He can't explain himself very well

What a knob

Dump him

Movinghouseatlast · 20/03/2022 17:08

It is a nasty message. If he doesn't like your make up style ( and it is a definite style, you know that) then there are better ways of saying it gently.

However, that is how you want to do your make-up and you like it so I agree that you should get rid.

girlmom21 · 20/03/2022 17:09

Your makeup looks great OP. Tell him to piss off.

WhyIsEverythingSoHard · 20/03/2022 17:09

Btw, don’t bother with popsting a pic.
The only thing that will do is that some people will use that as a way to attack you/criticise. When the issue is NOT your make up.
It’s the fact that after a year (and 3 years knowing you) he feels he can change the way you do things just to please him. And that he expects to do as he says.

That or he is looking for an excuse.

Either of them is a sign that he is nit a good man.

Clarinet1 · 20/03/2022 17:10

Exhibit A m’lud - my favourite pair of trainers

I asked my bf if he is embarrassed by me this is his response . I don’t know what to make of it.
heathspeedwell · 20/03/2022 17:11

He's not good enough for you. Throw this one back in, there are plenty more men out there, and there will be no shortage of men who would jump at the chance to treat you with the respect and love that you deserve.

Orchidsonthetable · 20/03/2022 17:11

@WhyIsEverythingSoHard

Btw, don’t bother with popsting a pic. The only thing that will do is that some people will use that as a way to attack you/criticise. When the issue is NOT your make up. It’s the fact that after a year (and 3 years knowing you) he feels he can change the way you do things just to please him. And that he expects to do as he says.

That or he is looking for an excuse.

Either of them is a sign that he is nit a good man.

Oh please. Read the thread, she’s posted a pic and she looks great.
wheelywheelynice · 20/03/2022 17:11

I see lots of women walking about with awful make-up application and I always wonder why someone hasn't told them, don't they have a husband/boyfriend/mum/sister/best friend to tell them?
He could have told you a bit more kindly but I would be inclined to pay for a make up lesson and get a professional opinion.

anothernamedoesntsmellsosweet · 20/03/2022 17:11

Jeez, I was so nervous you would post and it would be horrendous and we would all have to be polite but it turns out you are amazing at makeup and he is as we all suspected a dickhead

Totalwasteofpaper · 20/03/2022 17:12

Your make up legit looks great and are beautiful!!!!
He is nuts.

Dump and move on.

Orchidsonthetable · 20/03/2022 17:13

@wheelywheelynice

I see lots of women walking about with awful make-up application and I always wonder why someone hasn't told them, don't they have a husband/boyfriend/mum/sister/best friend to tell them? He could have told you a bit more kindly but I would be inclined to pay for a make up lesson and get a professional opinion.
That’s the last thing she needs.
Clarinet1 · 20/03/2022 17:13

Oops photo didn’t attach.

I asked my bf if he is embarrassed by me this is his response . I don’t know what to make of it.
Unhomme · 20/03/2022 17:13

@SissySpacekAteMyHamster oh I really didn't have the energy to read it all!!!

diddl · 20/03/2022 17:14

That's really weird of him imo.

From the pic I should imagine that you are enviably stunning without make up.

But if he knows that that is how you usually do your make up & he doesn't like it, why has he stuck around for so long?

It's really a part of who you are & he seems to have been cruel for the sake of it.

GoodnessTruthBeauty · 20/03/2022 17:14

@Midlifemusings your comment that women don't care about men's feelings and would be this brutal is nonsense.

It makes you wonder if some of the people on this thread are tolerate of a lot of abuse.

I tell my young adult/teens kids, male and female not to stay with anyone who is abusive physically or emotionally. I definitely would tell my son to bin a woman who treated him like this.

FlibbertyGibbitt · 20/03/2022 17:15

You are a beautiful woman Op. he should be proud of you on his arm. Is he going to tell you next he doesn’t like your hair or clothes ? Nah dump his sorry ass. Plenty more nicer men around believe me.

Inthesameboatatmo · 20/03/2022 17:15

Christ that's was blunt. He's entitled to his opinion of you the same as you are if he stank and you would have to tell him . He didn't have to spew such vitriol though ,he could've gone a little easier. Get rid for god sake. How old are you both.
You can wear your makeup as you like but heavy makeup really doesn't sit well on anyone over age 25.