I asked my bf if he is embarrassed by me this is his response . I don’t know what to make of it.

[Yorkshiregurl1]

So, I asked my bf if he’s embarrassed by me as we never venture out of town for food or on day trips etc . This is his response. No one’s ever said anything like this to me so I don’t know what to make of it ?

Being embarrassed about you.
Well I didn’t want to say this but it is the elephant in the room so it’s being noticed so I suppose I’ll be honest. Imagine every time I came to see you I wore odd mismatching shoes would you sit there quietly? You probably would but you would notice and somewhere deep inside you would think ahh FFS!! In the same way I struggle with your make up application and choices. The amount of times I’ve seen squiggly lines or poor application of make up it’s pretty obvious it’s not your skill. The last time I saw you in my head I was thinking what the hell have you done to your eyes that’s probably the worse make up choice and application I’ve seen. It’s at a point I been searching for make up lessons as a gift! So I don’t need to tell you but now that you asked. It shouldn’t bother me but it’s been getting under my skin to a point where I think you look better without it but no you choose bizarre lipstick colours which don’t match you complexion etc. i can categorically say that some of the artwork you done on your face especially around the eyes is the worst I’ve ever seen. I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear but I didn’t want to wake to read this crap aswell.

Your message is fine, as I suspect you know. Trust yourself on this one and know your worth - I think you can do far, far better than this horrible person.

Not ok. Please don't stay with someone who treats you like this.

What are you talking about midlife? Did you read a different thread? He said he was embarrassed by her and mocked and insulted her.

He's a dick. If she'd done it to him, she'd be the dick. But she didn't.

OP, this one is for the bin. You deserve better.

I think you look wonderful op. Dump him, he's basically begging you

If this is real (it doesn't come across as real) I don't think we can say he has been controlling or slowley wearing OP down - he hasn't even said anything until she asked. However, this message is awful, and I would simply say, OK thanks for finally being honest, you are entitled to your opinion, even if it's far removed from reality. Do not contact me again, you don't deserve my time.

Negging^ my kingdom for an edit button

Omg OP, you have film star make up/eyes. Please dump the loser.

Sorry, but you asked and he answered. You're obviously deluded about your looks and he thinks you're a mess. Time to evaluate your relationship...

What a horrible nasty man he is, get rid of him. My ex once told me he was embarrassed to be seen with me and that I should walk behind him in the street so that people wouldn’t know we were together. (All because I had put on weight after having his child). The damage to your self confidence from these sorts of comments is too much, you deserve better and he does not deserve you.

@Unhomme RTFT

Your makeup is stunning but that's not the problem here. Your boyfriend should be proud to be seen with you even if you were done up like Noddy the Clown.

@Midlifemusings

There is a lot of sexism in these responses. The idea that women are too weak and fragile to ever hear anything other than that they are amazing, beautiful, fantastic etc. That women can't handle any form of critique and so anyone who ever says anything that isn't praise and positive about a woman is a horrible, terrible, awful person.

The opposite is not true in the least. Critical comments about men's appearance and choices in how they present is open season and no one worries about the man's feelings if their partner doesn't like something about a personal choice they made in how they present themselves.

No one should change for a partner but the idea that no matter what a woman asks, the man is required to lie and always say everything about her is perfect and amazing and beautiful is nonsense. That he loves every choice she makes and that he never ever has the right to say anything other than praise because she is a woman....and women can't handle anything other than that really aggravates me.

Look at the names he is called because he dared be honest that he doesn't like her make-up choices when asked. If she had told him honestly she didn't like his man bun and hairstyle choice when asked I doubt there would be an unleaasing about what a vile horrible woman she was.

Did you read what he said?

He wasn't "honest that he doesn't like her make-up choices" - he was downright nasty about her looks.

If a woman spoke to a man in such a way she'd be equally deserving of such nastiness. Especially if the reason he asked was because she was hiding him away from her hometown as the man in the OP has been.

He’s negging you and possibly keeping you out of his territory so he can still pull and cheat.

We can only see your eyes but they are gorgeous. You can do better than this sad-sack. He’s eroding your confidencie.

He’s got quite a thing about eyeliner and lipstick hasn’t he?

I do think there is a cultural element here, in that he doesn’t want anyone to know about you, but instead of being honest Amd owning that he’s attacked and abused you. You need to end it, this isn’t going anywhere. You know this and I’m sorry,

@diamondpony80

Is he gay? Because I don’t know a single straight man that cares that much (or has that much knowledge) about make up application. If not then he’s just a complete dick head and not worth your time.

What man has ever noticed a woman's lipstick doesn't match her complexion?;sounds like he's copied and pasted a text from another woman about you.

My husband is also very image conscious and has said similar to me over the years but it's always followed with ‘shall I take you shopping?’ or ‘what make-up do you need?’ I’m a slob in ways and I've never had much of a fashion sense. He wears designer stuff and always looks great and makes sure our child does too, and he makes sure I do too. I'm glad as I can't be bothered.

Hi first of all sending hugs! What a horrible to think that your BF is embarrassed by you, then for him to confirm it in such a dick head way.

I live with someone who will always tell me if he doesn't like something ... which in itself can be hurtful especially if I didn't ask his opinion.

I really think you should be firm with your response and make it clear to him how hurtful he has been. Maybe tell him your embarrassed of his awful attitude

I bet he's been wearing your knickers on the quiet.

I'd be texting back, Ok. Thanks for your opinion. I think we're both done here.

Then I'd block. I wouldn't waste another moment's thought on this prick. You can do far better - raise your standards a long, long way.

seen loads of indian women with eye makeup like this , never thought it looked weird or unatural or not matched their complection . ,
it sounds like he needs to go off down the road

Unfortunately it is very real and I feel very upset. I don't have an issue with him being honest and direct as this is him but it was more the fact it was a very nasty message that I didn't deserve. I was trying to start a dialogue not a slanging match.

It's so heavy look for sure but very well applied and probably suits you even if not for me. I am almost 60 and actually people usually are shocked when they hear that and think I am mid to late to 40s so that does happen. I think get rid of him is the best answer here.

Nothing wrong with your eye makeup. Certainly don't need lessons.

I'd hazard a guess he's negged you so you don't question him again OP. There will be another reason.

1. You have very beautiful eyes and I have no doubt your beauty makes you stand out
2. Your eye makeup is very well applied and with very good technique (no squiggly, smudgy eyeliner or panda eyes).
3. My one single (slightly) negative is your brows which I think would frame your eyes better if they were softer drawn - however as PP says, this is very much down to personal preference.

The main point however, is not about your makeup, it's about your bf trying to dictate what you wear and how you present yourself by manipulating you. It was very cruel of him to first of all make you feel how you did, and secondly to say the things he said, in the manner which he said them.

I feel this is just the beginning of worse to come OP and I fear his main motivation is to make you appear "less attractive" to others. His behaviour stinks of jealousy.