I asked my bf if he is embarrassed by me this is his response . I don’t know what to make of it.

[Yorkshiregurl1]

So, I asked my bf if he’s embarrassed by me as we never venture out of town for food or on day trips etc . This is his response. No one’s ever said anything like this to me so I don’t know what to make of it ?

Being embarrassed about you.
Well I didn’t want to say this but it is the elephant in the room so it’s being noticed so I suppose I’ll be honest. Imagine every time I came to see you I wore odd mismatching shoes would you sit there quietly? You probably would but you would notice and somewhere deep inside you would think ahh FFS!! In the same way I struggle with your make up application and choices. The amount of times I’ve seen squiggly lines or poor application of make up it’s pretty obvious it’s not your skill. The last time I saw you in my head I was thinking what the hell have you done to your eyes that’s probably the worse make up choice and application I’ve seen. It’s at a point I been searching for make up lessons as a gift! So I don’t need to tell you but now that you asked. It shouldn’t bother me but it’s been getting under my skin to a point where I think you look better without it but no you choose bizarre lipstick colours which don’t match you complexion etc. i can categorically say that some of the artwork you done on your face especially around the eyes is the worst I’ve ever seen. I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear but I didn’t want to wake to read this crap aswell.

For all the reasons that people have already said- just dump him.

As expected, there's bugger all wrong with your message, and everything wrong with his.

Please dump him. He is worthless.

@SpiderinaWingMirror clearly she is not Toyah Wilcox and clearly @Yorkshiregurl1 knows how to apply her make up.

Her boyfriend is trying to undermine her as he is the insecure one.

Do you think his female friends are more than friends and he’s worried about them seeing you more than family?

op what are you doing begging this guy like this? Just end it, honestly, he’s treating you like pure shit, he’s abusing you, insulting you, lying to you. It’s not good, end it, please have some self respect, you are worth more than being this guys dirty secret.

Op you have absolutely beautiful eyes.
So you have known this toad for 3 years. 3 whole years. He knows you wear this style of make up and what ever mis- matching shoes means.
Here's what I think. He is a controlling dick. He knew exactly what your style was when he started dating you. He is now trying to control you in subtle ways.
Dump him.
I've been there. Told me he preferred me at my thinnest, when I was so thin people actually thought I was dying from cancer. Told me I was the fattest woman he had ever had sex with. When I had 'ballooned' to a size 12. Told me certain clothes did not suit me. This included anything remotely practical such as a waterproof, warm coat. Long boots, jeans, trousers, a black dress, any knickers which didn't ride up my arse and make me itch. Any bra which didn't make me feel like a prostitute. Told me to shave off my pubic hair.
Told me I wore too much make up when I was leaving the house without him, but it was ok when I was with him as he liked me wearing it 😵😵.
Told me how to drive, told me watch to drink.
Yes I dumped his sorry arse.
Get rid of him op, just tell him "Glad we cleared that up. I don't like the way you look either. Goodbye. Then block him.

@FirstTimeSecondTime
we mainly spend time at mine , sometimes we go to local restaurants and occasionally the cinema but I'm more about getting out on weekends away and day trips etc

Your technique etc is spot on so I dont get what he's on about! Have you replied to him since that message? I think he's trying to get you to wear less cos it makes him look bad which makes him insecure, he knows you could likely do way better and he can't handle it. He's making whatever he's feeling about himself about you. Fuck him, he's an arsehole!

I posted before I saw your photo up thread.

Your make up looks fine to me. I was expecting a Goth to be honest!

Shame we can't have a look at him 🤷🏻‍♀️

You look beautiful OP, dump his sorry controlling ass.

You look stunning. I was imagining so kind of really freaky goth makeup but yours is beautiful.

Tell him to F off and then LTB.

@SpiderinaWingMirror

Are you Toyah?

What an odd question to post. Have you ever seen toyah? She is not Indian. She doesn’t have brown eyes, She looks nothing like the op.and the op certainly doesn’t look like a mid sixties woman.

It wouldn’t matter if you looked like Coco the Clown, but clearly very beautiful and this horrorshow of a man is trying to undermine you. Bin him, please.

It is a heavy look, but it's really well done and you look amazing!

Please don't waste any more time on someone who makes you feel crap x

Missmatched shoes?

It's all so odd.

That is a horrendous thing for him to say. Your make up looks fine, certainly not what I was expecting by what he said! I think you can do better than him to be honest. He sounds cruel and a bit of a bully!!!

I’m guessing that he doesn’t want people to know he has a girlfriend, either that or he is just a piece of shit!

Dump his arse!

Is he saying it's too heavy brow and eyeliner is too much?

If so, why is it an issue now?

You look v attractive and your make up looks spot on. This is text book control freakery and he’s even angry you’ve dared to ask why he want to control where you both go.

In your position, I’d ask him to detail what I’ve wants you to wear and what make up you should be wearing so he’ll take you out. Then bow out of the relationship. Keep the texts for posterity to remind you that you’ve had a lucky escape.

There is a lot of sexism in these responses. The idea that women are too weak and fragile to ever hear anything other than that they are amazing, beautiful, fantastic etc. That women can't handle any form of critique and so anyone who ever says anything that isn't praise and positive about a woman is a horrible, terrible, awful person.

The opposite is not true in the least. Critical comments about men's appearance and choices in how they present is open season and no one worries about the man's feelings if their partner doesn't like something about a personal choice they made in how they present themselves.

No one should change for a partner but the idea that no matter what a woman asks, the man is required to lie and always say everything about her is perfect and amazing and beautiful is nonsense. That he loves every choice she makes and that he never ever has the right to say anything other than praise because she is a woman....and women can't handle anything other than that really aggravates me.

Look at the names he is called because he dared be honest that he doesn't like her make-up choices when asked. If she had told him honestly she didn't like his man bun and hairstyle choice when asked I doubt there would be an unleaasing about what a vile horrible woman she was.

How long have you been together?

It's quite heavy make up but it looks well applied and if you're happy with it he can bog off.

I was imagining heavy as in gothic, which might not be everyone's cup of tea but your makeup is more 'mainstream' heavy and looks very well applied to me. The brows aren't my taste but they aren't 'out there' or anything.

You obviously wear a full face every day but so do loads of people, me included, there is honestly nothing remarkable about your makeup and it's hardly a mess!

So now you know. He's a nob and he's trying to control you. Time to say goodbye.

You are beautiful and so is your make up.

I am probably old enough to be your mother, and if you were my daughter I'd be telling you to dump him because I bet much nicer men would be queueing up to take you out.

You are beautiful. I don't know what I was expecting, but not what you look like at all from the messages.

Please leave him. Hes obviously an insecure arsehole who just wants to wear you down.