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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I asked my bf if he is embarrassed by me this is his response . I don’t know what to make of it.

748 replies

Yorkshiregurl1 · 20/03/2022 14:16

So, I asked my bf if he’s embarrassed by me as we never venture out of town for food or on day trips etc . This is his response. No one’s ever said anything like this to me so I don’t know what to make of it ?

Being embarrassed about you.
Well I didn’t want to say this but it is the elephant in the room so it’s being noticed so I suppose I’ll be honest. Imagine every time I came to see you I wore odd mismatching shoes would you sit there quietly? You probably would but you would notice and somewhere deep inside you would think ahh FFS!! In the same way I struggle with your make up application and choices. The amount of times I’ve seen squiggly lines or poor application of make up it’s pretty obvious it’s not your skill. The last time I saw you in my head I was thinking what the hell have you done to your eyes that’s probably the worse make up choice and application I’ve seen. It’s at a point I been searching for make up lessons as a gift! So I don’t need to tell you but now that you asked. It shouldn’t bother me but it’s been getting under my skin to a point where I think you look better without it but no you choose bizarre lipstick colours which don’t match you complexion etc. i can categorically say that some of the artwork you done on your face especially around the eyes is the worst I’ve ever seen. I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear but I didn’t want to wake to read this crap aswell.

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 20/03/2022 16:23

Sounds like something from a shitty film he watched years ago and. He’s been practicing the scene in the mirror ever since.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 20/03/2022 16:23

Yup, he's trying to make you stay indoors so that a) nobody sees that you're beautiful and b) so that he can shag other women.

You'd be best off sending back a response along the lines of

'K. Bye'.

and blocking him.

NameChanged15729 · 20/03/2022 16:24

Your everyday eye make up isn’t that dissimilar to mine (they will have to wrestle the eyeliner out of my cold dead hands!) and I’ve never once been told it looks bad.

You have beautiful eyes op and your partner is a twat. I can only think he either doesn’t want other men looking at you, he prefers ‘natural’ make up or he’s cheating/considering it and he doesn’t want to be seen with a girlfriend.

Either way you deserve so much better. I wouldn’t dignify his message with a reply. Just block him and show him that his opinion means fuck all.

SheWoreYellow · 20/03/2022 16:24

Your makeup is beautiful! He’s talking shite about you not being able to apply it.

Does he not realise it’s a thing to have the line going further out than the eye? That’s all I can think of. What a cock.

Branleuse · 20/03/2022 16:25

Your makeup looks brilliant. He needs to fuck off

FirstTimeSecondTime · 20/03/2022 16:25

Where do you both go on dates?
Does he often go out with out you?

He sounds like a piece of shit btw.

Kuachui · 20/03/2022 16:25

okay i was ready to not comment because i thought oh god her makeup is probably terrible but those eyes were so good!!!!!! like wtf???

I want lessons FROM YOU!!!

LetHimHaveIt · 20/03/2022 16:26

You look like Laila Rouass, actually.

You've not attempted a reconciliation with Ronnie O'Sullivan, have you?

Pinkbonbon · 20/03/2022 16:26

It loves lovely to me.

I'd probably consider it night out makeup but if someone could make the effort to do their eyes like that every day I'd just think they were very stylish.

Yorkshiregurl1 · 20/03/2022 16:26

@Orchidsonthetable yes thats how I meet him. I guess what I meant is it not natural makeup . its a heavier look and I sometimes wear red lippy etc

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 20/03/2022 16:26

*looks lovely

CharlotteRose90 · 20/03/2022 16:27

What’s your make up style? Is it a look that gets you noticed, either way your relationship is over. Sadly he’s embarrassed by you and you deserve a lot better.

FinallyHere · 20/03/2022 16:27

Can you show us a photo of your make-up?

This is so not about how someone applies makeup.

As it happens, I don't know you and I think your eyes with or without make up are beautiful.

It's much more likely to be his attempt to undermine your confidence and start to up the control. To try and see whether you will let him control your life.

Either way, though, why would you want to spend anytime with someone who is not proud to be seen out with you. Either submit to him or get rid of him. I'd strongly encourage you to get rid of anyone who does not treat you well.

Su9999 · 20/03/2022 16:28

@Yorkshiregurl1 he sounds very insecure. I am sure you can do better. Honestly he sounds very childish and embarrassing. Your makeup is fine. Cringe. He was mad that you called him out, wanted to hurt you but couldn’t come up with anything else. I hope you show him this thread so he can see how embarrassing he is.

Orchidsonthetable · 20/03/2022 16:28

Honestly op you look lovely. I was envisaging something else.

You need to bin him, he’s trying to hurt you and attack you. There is nothing wrong with your make up, you look fantastic.

7eleven · 20/03/2022 16:28

Your make is lush. I think you should do a tutorial for us!

urbanbuddha · 20/03/2022 16:28

After seeing your pic, I get what he's doing. You are beautiful and he's trying to undermine you. He wants to keep you on the backfoot so you don't think you are better than him can do better than him Please dump him and move on. Your eyes are gorgeous, nothing wrong with your makeup!

^This.
Dump him.

Hankunamatata · 20/03/2022 16:29

It's very heavy make up and not my taste. But I would point out to him that you looked like this from day 1. I would worry about what he would want you to chnage next.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 20/03/2022 16:29

Are you Toyah?

MargosKaftan · 20/03/2022 16:29

End it. He doesn't respect you. He treats you badly - never prioritising you for his free time/going out budget - and has decided its all your fault. Trying to push you into "earning" his affection, expecting you to be grateful for him behaving like a normal boyfriend and it being all your fault when he doesn't.

If your make up hasn't changed since you got together it is not the make up that's the problem. This is his excuse for treating you the way he wants.

ThreeRingCircus · 20/03/2022 16:29

It doesn't matter what your makeup looks like. For me it looks like too much, but you like it and that's what matters! His response is absolutely brutal, really nasty and even if it's what he thinks there's a gentle way of saying something to somebody that you're meant to love. Get rid of him for being a grade A prick.

Mummyoflittledragon · 20/03/2022 16:32

You’re beautiful. Your makeup skills look pretty superb and I would love to be able to apply make up with this precision. A resounding wow from me.

I think he’s intimidated and I would dump him. Don’t fall for a sunken cost fallacy.

Yorkshiregurl1 · 20/03/2022 16:33

For those who are asking this was my original message to him obviously i have omitted town details etc Also both being indian we have a thing about not being seen by family when we are out etc

I have this thought that keeps popping up in my head that you’re embarrassed about being seen with me (I keep
quashing it but I can’t keep it in any longer) as we don’t really go anywhere.

Like you said the last time we were out I hope we don’t get seen by anyone but you’re always out in (his hometown) with your female friends ? Do your family not see you then ? It doesn’t make sense to me ? You said to me you’ve been (out of town) recently for food . When was the last time we went outside (my hometown)for food ? You recommended me cafe but never said I’ll take you there . There is no way you went with a guy to that place so what makes it different for me ? Why can’t we go out ?

You can ask your friends if you wish but I know I’m not being irrational about this. I feel like a second class citizen . There’s one rule for me and another rule for your other friends. I don’t think it’s fair.

OP posts:
LaraDeSalle · 20/03/2022 16:33

Let’s imagine that your make up is unflattering and badly applied.

Would someone who loves, respects and cherishes you but feels concerned about the make up perhaps causing others to be ridiculed behind your back, wait until he was asked and then reply with an obnoxious, long winded personal attack on your appearance?

No, they wouldn’t.

He doesn’t love, respect or cherish you.

If he did he would gift you a make up experience with a professional and only ever make flattering comments.

But if course I don’t believe for one moment your make up is that awful and that sadly he is just using you and doesn’t want to have the bother or expense of going anywhere other than your being on the end of his nob or a local walk to buy refreshments.

Washermother33 · 20/03/2022 16:34

I’m a natural make up free type but even I can see that there is nothing wrong with your make up

It really doesn’t matter why he said what he did - he’s just flipping mean and you deserve better