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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I asked my bf if he is embarrassed by me this is his response . I don’t know what to make of it.

748 replies

Yorkshiregurl1 · 20/03/2022 14:16

So, I asked my bf if he’s embarrassed by me as we never venture out of town for food or on day trips etc . This is his response. No one’s ever said anything like this to me so I don’t know what to make of it ?

Being embarrassed about you.
Well I didn’t want to say this but it is the elephant in the room so it’s being noticed so I suppose I’ll be honest. Imagine every time I came to see you I wore odd mismatching shoes would you sit there quietly? You probably would but you would notice and somewhere deep inside you would think ahh FFS!! In the same way I struggle with your make up application and choices. The amount of times I’ve seen squiggly lines or poor application of make up it’s pretty obvious it’s not your skill. The last time I saw you in my head I was thinking what the hell have you done to your eyes that’s probably the worse make up choice and application I’ve seen. It’s at a point I been searching for make up lessons as a gift! So I don’t need to tell you but now that you asked. It shouldn’t bother me but it’s been getting under my skin to a point where I think you look better without it but no you choose bizarre lipstick colours which don’t match you complexion etc. i can categorically say that some of the artwork you done on your face especially around the eyes is the worst I’ve ever seen. I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear but I didn’t want to wake to read this crap aswell.

OP posts:
WonderfulYou · 20/03/2022 16:16

Your make up looks nice.

He may think you put too much make up on but he just needs to say that rather than insult you.
Even if your make up was awful there’s a nice way to say things.

I don’t think this is about your terrible make up - this is about how he doesn’t want other men looking at you.
That’s why you don’t go out and that’s why he’s hoping you’ll stop wearing it.

MakeThingsRight · 20/03/2022 16:16

Looks good to me and suits your lovely eyes. I'm not a fan of the eyebrow style but know it's v popular at the moment - Def wouldn't suit me!

I think he's insecure and worried everyone will fancy you. I had that when I was in my 20s dating bloke in his 30s - it is very much a control thing as mentioned previously.

You can do better, don't let him ruin your self esteem xx

Xztop · 20/03/2022 16:16

You look lovely. Don't let that dickhead knock your confidence. Bin him!

Yorkshiregurl1 · 20/03/2022 16:16

Thanks guys .
That's my everyday makeup but for going out I might add some sparkle.
I don't think it looks bad that I need makeup lessons!

OP posts:
Macanncheese · 20/03/2022 16:17

You look stunning I wish I could do my make up like yours! He's an idiot.

BakedTattie · 20/03/2022 16:17

Your eyes look like princess jasmine eyes! I’m jealous, you’re gorge!

Dump his ass.

OrlandointheWilderness · 20/03/2022 16:17

How was your message to him phrased? Tbh his reply was incredibly brutal. It's not so much what he says but how he says it!

ehb102 · 20/03/2022 16:17

What he didn't say was "I'd love to take you to meet my friends but I'd like you to tone the makeup down please."

So if you change the makeup I bet £10 on there being something else next.

Honestly, who wants to be with someone who likes you enough to have sex with you but not be seen with in public? Last time I made that mistake I was 17, and even then it felt badly.

Electriq · 20/03/2022 16:17

Wow, your make up is stunning, he is trying to get you to change because he knows your beautiful and he doesn't like it, controlling abusive cow pat, my reply to him would be, thank you for telling me how you feel, I appreciate your honesty, I disagree and will not be changing and for that reason, I think this is where we both part ways. Have a nice life.

Lovemusic33 · 20/03/2022 16:18

You asked him to be honest and he was.

Maybe your not suited?

I don’t wear make up and I often think people look ridiculous with it on, bit I’m sure a lot of people think I look ridiculous without it. I wouldn’t date someone who wanted a girlfriend who wore lots of make up, I would date someone who likes me natural. I think he’s just saying that he doesn’t like your look, yes he’s a twat bit you did ask him to be honest. Do not change for any man, if this is how you want to look then find someone who’s not going to feel embarrassed.

Yorkshiregurl1 · 20/03/2022 16:18

@Susu49 thats me

OP posts:
BobbieMeserole · 20/03/2022 16:18

Ha! After seeing your pic, I get what he's doing. You are beautiful and he's trying to undermine you. He wants to keep you on the backfoot so you don't think you are better than him can do better than him Please dump him and move on. Your eyes are gorgeous, nothing wrong with your makeup!

LetHimHaveIt · 20/03/2022 16:19

Well, your makeup is heavy and I continue to be mystified by eyebrows that start with a straight vertical line, BUT what it is not, is a mess. It's extremely well applied, and you look good. It's absolutely not for me, but you look good. His response was barking, as he shouldn't be embarrassed to take you out. And it wasn't 'no waffle' or 'blunt' or 'direct'. It was a pisspoor, convoluted analogy taken straight from the Book of Dickhead.

Hotzenplotz · 20/03/2022 16:19

Lovely picture OP.

Isthisit22 · 20/03/2022 16:19

You look stunning. Please dump him and don't give it any more thought. He's just trying to destroy your self esteem like lots of abusive men do.

MabelSabel · 20/03/2022 16:20

Your make up is spot on, really pretty

Your boyfriend is an insecure moron trying to make you feel bad about yourself. Get rid!

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 20/03/2022 16:20

You look lovely.

Keep your make up as it is.

But dump him.

He will chip away at your self-esteem forever.

Cloudfrost · 20/03/2022 16:21

Sorry I agree that your makeup is way too much for everyday makeup

And you did ask him, so can't blame his for telling you the truth about how he feels. Yes the way he phrased ut was OTT/rude but some people genuinely aren't great with expressing themselves without sounding twatty (I am one of those people lol)

Liamgallaghersparka · 20/03/2022 16:21

Get rid of this arsehole and find someone who really deserves and appreciates you.

ehb102 · 20/03/2022 16:21

Eyes look gorgeous btw. If he is embarrassed by that he must be some kind of a snob.

OrlandointheWilderness · 20/03/2022 16:21

Actually @Yorkshiregurl1 - how do you do your make up!?! 😂 it looks gorgeous and I've never been able to make mine look good.

HyggeTygge · 20/03/2022 16:22

Your makeup is fine.
He's written that message with one aim: to see how you react when he treats you like shit.

If you dump him, he shouldn't be surprised.
If you don't, he'll see what other shit you will accept.

Sorry op.

ScrollingLeaves · 20/03/2022 16:22

If those eyes are yours then he evidently doesn’t appreciate you or know that many men would give anything to have a girlfriend as lovely as you.

Orchidsonthetable · 20/03/2022 16:23

Oh ok cross posted you look fantastic! But that’s not heavy, unnatural or brightly coloured. Is that how you meet him? Because your previous comments don’t align with the image to be fair.

GoodnessTruthBeauty · 20/03/2022 16:23

I am thinking the same as @Electriq he isn't taking you anywhere because of his own insecurities and knows you are very attractive. You haven't changed your make up since you met him so he was obviously attracted to you. Abusive men will undermine their partner and destroy her confidence so she won't leave.
I think you should just brazen it out and tell him you are going to be going out more as you are bored of sitting at home with him.
"This shit" is him terrified you are starting to have doubts about him.
You could say "sorry you feel that way, I guess I need to find a man who appreciates me" (or just in your head!)

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