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Original poster

My girlfriends wants money after two months

290 replies

gfwantsmoney · 16/03/2022 21:23

That is really. I have been seeing this woman for a couple of months. We have seen each other every couple of weeks since January and everything is fantastic. We talk almost every day. She is beautiful, interesting and I really like her. I could see a future for us after being single for a long time. The only problem is that she just told me she needs 500 pounds a month to pay her rent each month. She is not from the UK so she said in her country it is normal for a boyfriend to pay for things for his girlfriend. Is she taking me for a ride? I can afford the 500 pounds.

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 17/03/2022 09:37

@Elieza

PS to those of you who are still offering advice to dump her, THE OP HAS DUMPED HER read the thread.
Dumped or she dumped him as he’s not paying her the money

Did she ever reply back after @gfwantsmoney said no

LuckySantangelo35 · 17/03/2022 09:43

@MzHz
I don’t think your statement:

“You only lost 8 weeks”

Is too accurate to be honest.

Op himself admits he has had a “very good time with this lady”. He has enjoyed the company of - and presumably sex with - a much younger, attractive woman who maybe wouldn’t have looked at him twice if it weren’t for her money agenda.

It’s hardly a one-sided exchange. These type of things wouldn’t go on if the men didn’t get something out of it as well as the women.

Closetbeanmuncher · 17/03/2022 09:51

I am not naive. I am very successful

Being financially successful has little correlation to being romantically naive OP.

If you go for women young enough to be your daughter, you're highly likely to get a transactional agreement not an authentic relationship.

It all depends what your end goal is really doesn't it OP?

Closetbeanmuncher · 17/03/2022 09:55

I'm glad you decided not to give her the money.

I wouldn't let people know your financial status until you're sure in future. That will weed out the grabby fakers and lifestyle hookers.

Cas112 · 17/03/2022 09:58

Why are you even thinking about this? Say no and get rid

ukborn · 17/03/2022 10:00

OP you say you've been out of the dating game for a while and wondered if things had changed. What has changed (though was pretty normal 20 plus years ago too), is that women usually pay their own way and want to be independent, particularly financially. If there's a large disparity in income, after some months and an established , exclusive relationship, the higher earner may pay for dinners out/weekends away on occasion.
You seem to have realised this woman was not being sincere. Next time go slow, do not advertise your wealth, and make sure you have a true connection before becoming intimate. The majority of people are honest and genuine, and I'm sure you'll find a partner soon.

Quincythequince · 17/03/2022 10:01

@gfwantsmoney

That is really. I have been seeing this woman for a couple of months. We have seen each other every couple of weeks since January and everything is fantastic. We talk almost every day. She is beautiful, interesting and I really like her. I could see a future for us after being single for a long time. The only problem is that she just told me she needs 500 pounds a month to pay her rent each month. She is not from the UK so she said in her country it is normal for a boyfriend to pay for things for his girlfriend. Is she taking me for a ride? I can afford the 500 pounds.
Good god! No. No money for her, she can pay her own rent.
Quincythequince · 17/03/2022 10:01

Where is she from?

SpeckledlyHen · 17/03/2022 10:21

@Quincythequince

Where is she from?
The OP has said she lives in the south of england.
Calphurnia88 · 17/03/2022 10:25

I am not naive. I am very successful. I have had a very good time with this lady and I wanted to make sure I was not being unfair.

OP being successful does not mean you're immune to being deceived: www.latimes.com/projects/la-me-dirty-john/

I think where myself and others have come from in regards to the 'naive' comments is that you yourself have said you have been single for a while. You've asked whether it's 'socially acceptable' to pay this woman's rent because 'rents are high, ' and in the previous post you imply that questioning or refusing this woman's request for money could be 'unfair.' The vast majority of replies have immediately identified this as (at best) definitely not normal and (at worst, and sadly more likely) a scam, so it would seem you are a little out of touch and therefore vulnerable to being taken advantage of.

Which would be a shame, as you do come across as a sincere person who is looking for a genuine connection.

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 17/03/2022 10:25

I would imagine if she pulls this carry on with her potential partners, she lives very well in the south of England."

Lurking9to5 · 17/03/2022 10:30

Yes because 500 per month is just a room in a rented house.

baileys6904 · 17/03/2022 10:36

Actually @sassbott when I was in my early 20's I was with a man 18 years older for 5 years. I had an inheritance, owned my own property, very well paid job and he was an absolute waster.

It works both ways

Halllyup17 · 17/03/2022 10:36

You've met her 6 times and she's asking for £500?! Run as far away from this as you possibly can. Maybe get an sti test as well.

User112 · 17/03/2022 10:48

Which country?
Tell her to get a boyfriend from her country then!

Tell her you expect your girlfriend to have some self respect and work for a living like everyone does.

GatoradeMeBitch · 17/03/2022 10:51

She's put her cards on the table. If you want to see her it will cost you. Best to block her number and move on.

caringcarer · 17/03/2022 10:53

You are paying for 'escort service'.

Lambkin689 · 17/03/2022 10:56

A boyfriend paying for a meal out or a coffee is one thing. Paying her rent is another.

Original poster
gfwantsmoney · 17/03/2022 10:57

@Quincythequince

Where is she from?
She is East European.
OP posts:
Lambkin689 · 17/03/2022 11:00

@Oppy

If you like her and enjoy having sex with her just pay her per meet, DO NOT agree to a monthly fee. At the end of the day she is a human being making her way through a complex life. She probably hasn’t hurt anyone. You can practice technique and gain sexual confidence that will help draw genuine emotionally based relationships. If you pay per meet she’ll treat you very well I’m sure. I’d probably insist on a sexual health check though x
?!?!?!?!?!?!

Worst advice ever.

MzHz · 17/03/2022 11:06

[quote LuckySantangelo35]@MzHz
I don’t think your statement:

“You only lost 8 weeks”

Is too accurate to be honest.

Op himself admits he has had a “very good time with this lady”. He has enjoyed the company of - and presumably sex with - a much younger, attractive woman who maybe wouldn’t have looked at him twice if it weren’t for her money agenda.

It’s hardly a one-sided exchange. These type of things wouldn’t go on if the men didn’t get something out of it as well as the women.[/quote]
oh sure, i get what you are saying, but in terms of what is REAL - we - who have been through the spin cycle of life when it comes to relationships come out the other side - dizzy - but more understanding of the idea that if it feels too good to be true, it probably is

another thought to bear in mind is this:

it takes time - REAL TIME - to get to know if this person is the right one for you, you have to see them in all kinds of situations, under pressure, happy, sad, how they are with others, waiters, etc, how they are with your friends/family. You can not know this without spending time with them.

Relationships over text/WhatsApp/facetime whatever are NOT real. you can be anything you want online. THEY can be anything THEY want you to see.

we can all have HOPES, after 8 weeks, we can HOPE that a person is nice, but we wouldn't know.

Even in a real., face to face relationship, it takes approximately 2 years for an abusive person to let the mask slip.

When I went into my current relationship almost 6 years ago, I repeatedly reminded myself NOT to begin to even consider the relationship a 'thing' until after 6m, with no expectations, no commitment expected from him or anything. Then we got to a year. That is when I considered it as something as a relationship with potential. I think that this 'no pressure' approach helped me keep my head in the right place, and allowed us to just get to know each other and enjoy the possibilities.

This is what I would advise anyone starting a relationship, it worked for me and I didn't invent the relationship in my head or attach any 'investment' to it at all, just took everything at face value.

Sparkling321 · 17/03/2022 11:06

The classic scam. Im glad youve checked before going ahead. Shes just using you. Dont fall for it. £500 for six months, then she loses her job and needs more money…. Say no to her and see how she reacts. She will probably beg etc but i bet she disappears onto the next one. You can do much better than this Smile

SVRT19674 · 17/03/2022 11:14

Someone I know actually got a divorce to be with one of these. Also relatively young Eastern European. She ran up huge bills on his behalf, he paid for her and half her relatives, their mobile phones everything (also a well off business man). Until he snapped. We sat back and watched the crash happen slow motion. We could all see it but him. Thankfully you have seen the light. Good luck.

Original poster
gfwantsmoney · 17/03/2022 11:15

For those interested, she didn't reply at all. She used to reply immediately. There is so much good advice here. Nothing lost. I had a good time. She had some good wine and dine nights out. We even went to Wales. I had a few nice dates with a nice lady. I will leave it like that. Next time, I will ask MN after the first date :)

OP posts:
Whywonttheyhelpme · 17/03/2022 11:25

@gfwantsmoney I’m glad you’ve seen this scammer for who she is.

You sound like a really nice guy and I hope you meet someone more deserving of your kindness in the near future.