Dating Thread 226: Springing into Spring

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow

Question to the panel. Ms H is coming over tonight, and so far I’m just not really feeling it during our F2F meets, but over chats, it’s all easy going, funny and good 👍🏼

Tonight there may or may not be some sex ( I would prefer not actually, I don’t want this to cloud things), but if tonight is another flat pancake rather then a lovely soufflé do I persevere or just call it quits?

It’s almost like she is 2 people and I’m actually chatting to one person then another person actually turns up, does this make sense?

I've had exactly the same. He was great in message and on the phone but just not the same in real life. It was so disappointing. See how it goes tonight?

@Pavesi

Date 1 of 3 happened last night, let’s call him Mr I.

It was…. Refreshing, confidence boosting, and slightly disappointing.

He was a really nice guy, had interesting views of life and the world, and seemed to get more handsome as the night went on. He was very complimentary towards me and it was genuine so a nice little ego boost there.
However he was sooo incredibly nervous. And at the end he tried to kiss me with a pointy little lizard tongue.

I feel torn… If he relaxed he’d be someone to see again but the nerves and/or lack of confidence are quite off putting.

Has anyone been in a similar situation?

I’m seeing Mr O tonight for a drink at the pub, and Mr E on Sunday.

I’m new to online dating and have thrown myself in with aplomb!

Uh the terrible kiss. I like a decent kiss so it would be off putting. Given the other positives it would be worth giving him another chance though.

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow

Question to the panel. Ms H is coming over tonight, and so far I’m just not really feeling it during our F2F meets, but over chats, it’s all easy going, funny and good 👍🏼

Tonight there may or may not be some sex ( I would prefer not actually, I don’t want this to cloud things), but if tonight is another flat pancake rather then a lovely soufflé do I persevere or just call it quits?

It’s almost like she is 2 people and I’m actually chatting to one person then another person actually turns up, does this make sense?

It’s a bit awkward that she’s coming to yours though as that puts sex on the table and it may be difficult to take it off the table? I would tread carefully. But yes, if it’s disappointing again seeing her F2F it’s time to call it quits

[quote SortingItOut]@FloydPepper This thread doesn't see men as low value, we see men as equals.

Its unfortunate you returned to the thread as someone new joined it who sees men as low value.

Please stick with us, we're a great bunch.

Welcome to all newbies👋[/quote]
Thank you. I can see they are a bit of an outlier here so I’ll stick with it 😀

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow

Agree with @Badbaddog - if it doesn’t go well tonight if cut your losses and move on. It is a shame when it works out that way but it’s unlikely she’ll change.

Good luck and let us know how it goes!

[quote SortingItOut]@ButterflyOfShay Glad you're back to your chilled self and no longer a nut job😉😂

Got to love a bit of hormonal madness.....[/quote]
You’d think after 40+ years we would have found some way to control it! But nooooo it’s a nightmare EVERY single month 😩 oh to not have all of it and be mellow all the time 😓😄

HowlongWillThisTakeNow

Yes , I know what you mean re texts and person
My mantra is if she makes you smile ,continue
If she doesn’t , don’t
🐎

Couldn’t believe how anxious and jittery I was walking up the high street today. He was nowhere to be seen though.. but rarely see him on a Friday.

Aww @HowlongWillThisTakeNow it’s so disappointing when that happens. You think you really click but sadly the real them is the person.. and not the texting. I had that with an old iron MrTrades. We really hit it off messaging but he absolutely wasn’t for me in person. Good luch with tonight!

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow I would give it time as she might be taking a bit of time to feel more relaxed in person.

Has anyone got fun plans this weekend? I'm not seeing Mr Music as his child is still unwell and felt wrong to go out so I cancelled it. Next week will be 5 weeks since we have seen each other but I can't help thinking/worrying something else might come up. However trying not to be negative as we would have seen each other this weekend if their child weren't ill. I'm wondering whether I would look a supreme bitch for breaking up because we don't spend time together (not because of his children but because of his illness)

On the plus side, I've finished my work for the week so sitting eating chicken nuggets with my children. Usually I work very late so nice to have quality time together!

I’ve finished work early today too @Eesha. Bliss isnt it 🥰

@Eesha, chicken nuggets with your DC sounds like a lovely end to the working week. I can understand your dilemma with Mr M. I guess the key question is could Mr M have seen you ? I thought it was only not possible if he tested positive for Covid? At this stage I would just be happy to be in his company for a walk in the park or a FTF chat somewhere in the sunshine. Whilst he’s been poorly has he shown you that he’s missing you? I would definitely see what this week brings but there surely has come a cut off point when it no longer feels like a viable relationship. I’m really hoping that this time next week you’re actually in his company 🤞🏼

@Stepcount from what I understand, he was feeling so bad that he couldn't do anything for 3 weeks, not even see me. Then things seemed to ease up a bit and I also made my feelings clear about the lack of time together and he was all set to see me but then his child got covid really badly and it's been a huge worry. It felt wrong to have a romantic, fun evening when he was then super stressed about them plus his family who may also have it. He says he's still continued to call me daily plus in the last few weeks has been more open about missing me. But its not really a substitute to seeing someone. I guess I've been chatting to people who have all these wonderful, fun plans with their partners and I feel at times recently that I've got the shoddy end of the stick again with all this hassle/drama. However I think bar any more issues, we should see each other next week but if I'm totally honest, I'm getting past caring now, not because I don't care about him but because the situation is so frustrating that I'd rather be alone.

Eesha
No one would judge you for ending things
It’s not being a bitch
It’s being happy which is what you need and deserve
It’s clearly not making you happy
Now he may well perk up
But he might not
So definitely worth thinking about , which you understandably are

This weekend is all about sons birthday
He’s been very sad but he’s having a nice time
Plus best friend came to stay

God I’ve been being spending all my time with irons or toxic work colleagues

I’m def thinking fairly hard about my Balkan and whether it’s worth it
Veering towards not but we’ll see Sunday

@Eesha, I can understand the need to prioritise his DC and not be perceived as’ off on a jolly’ if he saw you. Roll on next weekend!

@Stepcount yes I understand he's doing the right thing. My children were a bit under the weather this week but nothing as big as his have. It's not him per se that I'm frustrated with, it's everything the universe is throwing at us.

ButterflyOfShay
A few days respite will do you good
Get those trackies on , and make
Up off 😂

Just back from the date with Mr O and it was flat.

He’d been so engaging through messaging then in person he came across as quite guarded and the conversation was ‘fine’ but that was it. He put in 20% effort and I put in 80% so it wouldn’t feel awkward but now I kinda wish I had just let the silence sit there. He didn’t really ask much about me and the connection didn’t go beyond surface level.

I don’t think he was into me at all and it’s knocked my confidence a little, more so in my judgement, but thick skin and move on.

A shame really as I was looking forward to this evening.

@Pavesi that's a bummer. I just used to put these things down to experience where there will be others where you both feel an amazing attraction. I think some people are good at just holding a conversation regardless ie you so it was the polite thing to do rather than sit in silence. Just put it down to experience rather than anything more personal.

@ButterflyOfShay I would definitely try and say hi next time you see Mr Turk. But I think you quite enjoy the subtle glances/having a crush as it sounds fun and stress free which is really what you need.

@Thisisworsethananticpated if things are fun and not stressing you out with Mr Balkan, then just enjoy it for what it is. Are you both seeing others? That's the only thing that would bother me in any situation.

Had a really good chat with Mr Music last night. I was feeling very blah about things so didn't have much to say but he was making a big effort to chat as i think he sensed that. I explained about being concerned that the universe is telling us this isn't going anywhere, that I wanted to do normal couple things like everyone else did etc. I even explained that we should put a time limit on things. He's adamant things will be better next weekend bar any more issues so let's see.

I'm in a chirpier mood because I spotted some tickets to a sold out gig, expensive but I thought I'd take my sibling for their big birthday as they never go anywhere nice. I was hesitant but now I'm really excited. Not sure how to keep it a secret!

Hey @Eesha thanks for your thoughts you are so right. In a way I don’t want anything to spark as if it went wrong it could make life really difficult and I’ve had enough of that… but what will be will be, and I’m in such a good place lately 💗

That sounds great about having a night out planned. So much better to have things to look forward to.. lifts up the spirits doesn't it x

@Thisisworsethananticpated

ButterflyOfShay A few days respite will do you good Get those trackies on , and make Up off 😂

How did you know 😉😁😁

Hope you have a lovely time with your friend @Thisisworsethananticpated it sounds like just what is needed 🥰