Dating Thread 226: Springing into Spring

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Eesha
I’m pleased you had a good chat and that you have some better plans for the weekend
Onwards x

I’m cancelling babysitter and won’t see Balkan Sunday
We had a very tense chat about his circumstances yesterday (ex , kids) I don’t like it , it’s giving me red flags 🚩 and I have my own shit

And nor am I unfreezing hinge and trying to find some replacements

A pause is most needed this end methinks

Pavesi
I’m sorry a crappy date can lower spirits
We’ve all been there x
It’s that balance between sussing them out and getting to know them

ButterflyOfShay
I enjoyed seeing my friend so much
It was such a tonic
Made me realise how hard the work , kids , men situation can be

@Pavesi that is disappointing... I find sometimes those kind of dates leave a tinge of sadness because it makes you realise how sort of 'close, but no cigar' the whole thing is - unless you really click with someone, you have to immediately let go of the connection you'd built up, no matter how briefly, and move on... and it's a loss even at that stage. It's good that you noticed the 20/80 split and worth paying attention to that.

@Thisisworsethananticpated fabulous that you had a good time with your friend... these things serve as good reminders I think that we often put our energies in the least rewarding places with these pesky dating scenarios. Good friendship is where it's at.

@Eesha been reading and rooting from the sidelines re. these curveballs being lobbed by the universe. It will be so good when you get past this because you'll KNOW you've been through something difficult and made it through to the other side.

@ButterflyOfShay I think your Mr Turk situation is very interesting! As you say, is there a sense of not wanting to disturb the sense of fantasy there is at the moment - the moment you try to connect more closely there is a risk of rejection at worst, complication in the middle ground, or positive brilliance at the top end - it's a risk and sometimes it's easier to carry on floating in the fantasy...! (I do not think you sound like a nutjob at all btw and if we can't air our thoughts on here then what's the point?? It's the entire point of the thread)

Date seemed to go okay, Ms H seemed a unsure when she arrived (understandable, strangers house), but I didn’t poison her with my cooking and we soon relax and had a fun evening , and there was some sex, …,

HowlongWillThisTakeNow
😁👍👍
I’m way too much dating this thread as I did wonder !!!!!

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow

Date seemed to go okay, Ms H seemed a unsure when she arrived (understandable, strangers house), but I didn’t poison her with my cooking and we soon relax and had a fun evening , and there was some sex, …,

That's great!

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow yay for sex, I take it things went better than last time then?

I’m off to spend this glorious day in a tattoo studio 🙈

I have been speaking to Mr. G all week from Bumble - video calls every night. We were meant to have first date this weekend but no confirmation from him? Bad sign?

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow I assume she came (literally 😃) without the horsey smell this time.

@Trippingslippingx1 video calls every night and you've only just met😱
Far too fast too soon. What's wrong with building up a connection slowly?
Have you brought up the date? When was it last brought up?
Seems odd neither of you have mentioned it

Damnnnn everyone is getting new tatts… waiting for the one I want’s books to open….

[quote ibelieveinmirrorballs]@Pavesi that is disappointing... I find sometimes those kind of dates leave a tinge of sadness because it makes you realise how sort of 'close, but no cigar' the whole thing is - unless you really click with someone, you have to immediately let go of the connection you'd built up, no matter how briefly, and move on... and it's a loss even at that stage. It's good that you noticed the 20/80 split and worth paying attention to that.

@Thisisworsethananticpated fabulous that you had a good time with your friend... these things serve as good reminders I think that we often put our energies in the least rewarding places with these pesky dating scenarios. Good friendship is where it's at.

@Eesha been reading and rooting from the sidelines re. these curveballs being lobbed by the universe. It will be so good when you get past this because you'll KNOW you've been through something difficult and made it through to the other side.

@ButterflyOfShay I think your Mr Turk situation is very interesting! As you say, is there a sense of not wanting to disturb the sense of fantasy there is at the moment - the moment you try to connect more closely there is a risk of rejection at worst, complication in the middle ground, or positive brilliance at the top end - it's a risk and sometimes it's easier to carry on floating in the fantasy...! (I do not think you sound like a nutjob at all btw and if we can't air our thoughts on here then what's the point?? It's the entire point of the thread)[/quote]
Thanks lovely. I’m just happy floating along in my little weird bubble 😁

Wooooo @HowlongWillThisTakeNow!! Getting jiggy with it!! 😆

[quote SortingItOut]@HowlongWillThisTakeNow I assume she came (literally 😃) without the horsey smell this time.

@Trippingslippingx1 video calls every night and you've only just met😱
Far too fast too soon. What's wrong with building up a connection slowly?
Have you brought up the date? When was it last brought up?
Seems odd neither of you have mentioned it[/quote]
@SortingItOut I said last night on video call what his plans were and to come over this weekend - he gave vague answer, not sure if I am going to go hill walking etc I will let you know. Maybe not Saturday but Sunday I am not sure blah blah. Not heard from him so far today?

Why is dating so frustrating.

I am a bit of a nutjob but not in a bad way. I’m just quite hyper / high energy 😄😄

@Trippingslippingx1 Was last night the first time a date was mentioned?

Have you invited him to your house even thiugh you don't know him?

Dating is frustrating if you ignore red/amber flags and go 100% in too early when the other person is sitting at 25%

[quote SortingItOut]@Trippingslippingx1 Was last night the first time a date was mentioned?

Have you invited him to your house even thiugh you don't know him?

Dating is frustrating if you ignore red/amber flags and go 100% in too early when the other person is sitting at 25%[/quote]
No we spoke loosely around going for drinks to cinema
Or whatever or for dinner - he said ‘play it by ere’. I sent him when I would be free at the weekend too. Hes not confirmed anything

So hes taken up all my evenings this week with video calls and now not heard from
Him

[quote SortingItOut]@Trippingslippingx1 Was last night the first time a date was mentioned?

Have you invited him to your house even thiugh you don't know him?

Dating is frustrating if you ignore red/amber flags and go 100% in too early when the other person is sitting at 25%[/quote]
Just deleted his number honestly
They are such time wasters

@Trippingslippingx1 I think this is the right move. Time waster.

[quote ibelieveinmirrorballs]@Trippingslippingx1 I think this is the right move. Time waster.[/quote]
Can spot them a mile off - unmatch, delete

@Trippingslippingx1 A loose agreement to meet is an amber flag, why wasn't he keen to meet?
Hedging his bets on other chats?
Ego boost from the chat, no need to go on date.

I know you say he wasted your evenings but you let him even though he was vague about meeting up.
Honestly giving up hours for video calls with a stranger is not what dating is about.
Low level messages until you meet is gest with meeting asap.

OLD is an experience we can all learn from.
Next time be tougher with your boundaries.

[quote SortingItOut]@Trippingslippingx1 A loose agreement to meet is an amber flag, why wasn't he keen to meet?
Hedging his bets on other chats?
Ego boost from the chat, no need to go on date.

I know you say he wasted your evenings but you let him even though he was vague about meeting up.
Honestly giving up hours for video calls with a stranger is not what dating is about.
Low level messages until you meet is gest with meeting asap.

OLD is an experience we can all learn from.
Next time be tougher with your boundaries.[/quote]
Did like speaking to him so its mutual benfit but he was a bit weird anyway
A but tindler swindler
Apparently worked as a model, works in finance, lots of attractive exes and drives a BMW with a personalised number plate - but somehow rents a one bedroom flat in one of the worst areas in the city?

[quote SortingItOut]@Trippingslippingx1 A loose agreement to meet is an amber flag, why wasn't he keen to meet?
Hedging his bets on other chats?
Ego boost from the chat, no need to go on date.

I know you say he wasted your evenings but you let him even though he was vague about meeting up.
Honestly giving up hours for video calls with a stranger is not what dating is about.
Low level messages until you meet is gest with meeting asap.

OLD is an experience we can all learn from.
Next time be tougher with your boundaries.[/quote]
He seemed keen to meet - but did not want to pin anything down. Probably meeting others as they do. Love bombing for an ego boost just to drop me like this. Hes best left alone

@ButterflyOfShay I reserved the designs December 2020 so it’s been a long time coming!