Dating Thread 226: Springing into Spring

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

It would be wonderful if he was pleased to see me 😂😂 hopefully he won’t look worried 😅

[quote HowlongWillThisTakeNow]@ButterflyOfShay
You will have to ask him if he has a canoe in his pocket, or is he just please to see you.[/quote]
Snork

So a notification has just appeared to say that I've got a match. I look back at the profile and all that it tells me is what field her master's degree is in, that she likes wine (it's just listed in one of the "interests" boxes, no further detail), and her star sign. The pictures - though nice in themselves - offer no clues as to hobbies or interests.

So how on earth do I initiate a conversation without having the foggiest idea about what we might have to talk about? I'm probably going to end up asking something really generic to start with, which will probably fall flat.

What did people say to you lot that really worked as a conversation starter?

@Badbaddog @HowlongWillThisTakeNow somethings gone over my head here 😂😂🧐

@ButterflyOfShay
Blackadder reference

Lord Flashheart,.. Rick Mayall RIP

@DdraigGoch I think if someone has a vague or blank profile they have to expect generic first messages. Nothing wrong with opening and asking.

I’m sure this has been done to death but are there any apps you recommend other than hinge or bumble? I deleted both of those as a previous iron, Mr Keen, tracked me down on them both. I only dated him for 2 weeks but he keeps popping up everywhere.

I’ve joined muddy matches as am a country girl at heart but it seems to be largely tumble weed on there. Perhaps they are all out driving their tractors etc.

I keep hoping to meet someone in real life but the chances seem very slim!

@DdraigGoch

So a notification has just appeared to say that I've got a match. I look back at the profile and all that it tells me is what field her master's degree is in, that she likes wine (it's just listed in one of the "interests" boxes, no further detail), and her star sign. The pictures - though nice in themselves - offer no clues as to hobbies or interests.

So how on earth do I initiate a conversation without having the foggiest idea about what we might have to talk about? I'm probably going to end up asking something really generic to start with, which will probably fall flat.

What did people say to you lot that really worked as a conversation starter?

Personally I’d avoid the degree field, go for wine, ( could mean she drinks a lot 🍷🍷), Maybe ask if she has visited any wineries or vineyards etc and go from there, most ppl like talking about themselves.

@DdraigGoch

So a notification has just appeared to say that I've got a match. I look back at the profile and all that it tells me is what field her master's degree is in, that she likes wine (it's just listed in one of the "interests" boxes, no further detail), and her star sign. The pictures - though nice in themselves - offer no clues as to hobbies or interests.

So how on earth do I initiate a conversation without having the foggiest idea about what we might have to talk about? I'm probably going to end up asking something really generic to start with, which will probably fall flat.

What did people say to you lot that really worked as a conversation starter?

Just ‘hello, lovely to match with you, there’s not a lot in your profile but I’d love to get to know you’

Also in world of dating apps, is it fairly standard that none of the people you like the look of are interested in you?

@BearFacedCheekGrylls

Also in world of dating apps, is it fairly standard that none of the people you like the look of are interested in you?

If it was a Venn diagram they’d be barely touching!

Ah thanks. Try to comfort myself that these non appreciators are not even real.

@BearFacedCheekGrylls

Also in world of dating apps, is it fairly standard that none of the people you like the look of are interested in you?

Yep

It’s hard to judge people on pictures and a few words, think I just need to crack on with it. I’m not desperate for a relationship but I would like to date and have sex other than in my sleep.

@BearFacedCheekGrylls

It’s hard to judge people on pictures and a few words, think I just need to crack on with it. I’m not desperate for a relationship but I would like to date and have sex other than in my sleep.

I hear your there, the woman I just recently started dating is quite keen on sex 😀 , which is great

But all your farmer friends are probably busy telling townies to “Get Orf Moi Land”

It sounds like you are all doing really well with chats and dates. I'm having a nightmare, on 3 apps and have had some chats, but they are either really flirty, ie. They just want sex, or it's painful to keep the conversation going. And I either really fancy them from their photos, or I'm just not that interested. It really is finding that needle in the hay stack.

I know I’m getting old, as I let out a “woohoo” as my fancy pants new LED desk lamp has arrived, rather than a “woohoo”, at some fancy pants Ms H might be wearing..

@Itsthejourney

It sounds like you are all doing really well with chats and dates. I'm having a nightmare, on 3 apps and have had some chats, but they are either really flirty, ie. They just want sex, or it's painful to keep the conversation going. And I either really fancy them from their photos, or I'm just not that interested. It really is finding that needle in the hay stack.

That’s how I feel and I give up very easy.

Having dinner with Mr History on Wednesday evening! 🍽🍾🥂😊

@Itsthejourney I know the feeling. I hate it when people just stop talking when you're taking to them as well. 😒

[quote FloydPepper]@DdraigGoch I think if someone has a vague or blank profile they have to expect generic first messages. Nothing wrong with opening and asking.[/quote]
A generic first message has indeed been sent, but that doesn't get me a date though.

[quote HowlongWillThisTakeNow]@ButterflyOfShay
Blackadder reference

Lord Flashheart,.. Rick Mayall RIP[/quote]
Oh sorry…. Oh Rik Mayall I loved him 😭 just one of the funniest men ever 😭😭

Good news @ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers! Exciting!

@ButterflyOfShay

Good news *@ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers*! Exciting!

@ButterflyOfShay thank you. I'm really looking forward to it! ❤️

Personally I’d avoid the degree field, go for wine, ( could mean she drinks a lot),
Maybe ask if she has visited any wineries or vineyards etc and go from there, most ppl like talking about themselves.

Trouble is that just having it in one of the "lifestyle" options in Tinder, it says nothing more than she prefers wine to beer/spirits. If I started a conversation on the basis that wine-drinking was the most interesting thing about her which may cause offence. If it was in a free-text box rather than a multiple choice selection, I could infer more from it.

Speed dating event is next week, at least there you are guaranteed three minutes of conversation each, rather than matching with the odd person and wondering why they haven't replied.