Dating Thread 226: Springing into Spring

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers I’m hoping a bit of your date magic will rub off

@Itsthejourney

It sounds like you are all doing really well with chats and dates. I'm having a nightmare, on 3 apps and have had some chats, but they are either really flirty, ie. They just want sex, or it's painful to keep the conversation going. And I either really fancy them from their photos, or I'm just not that interested. It really is finding that needle in the hay stack.

Sometimes it feels more like trying to find the hay in the needlestack.

[quote BearFacedCheekGrylls]@ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers I’m hoping a bit of your date magic will rub off[/quote]
@BearFacedCheekGrylls 🪄✨

@ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers, that’s great news. I’m glad you’ve found more time to get together. I hope it’s a lovely evening 🥰

Checking in purely for @ButterflyOfShay and Mr Turk update 🤞 and to say great news on the date and enjoy Wednesday @ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers!

Long time lurker here - just wanting some opinions please.

Been OLD for 8 years and in that time I've been on countless dates and had a few 12m+ relationships. No real connections though, and the last one was still on Tinder despite being exclusive for 6m. Little bruised from that one...

Been seeing someone for 2m and already I feel something I've never felt before - I honestly feel I could love him. But he's so busy with work/DS x 2/hobbies we only see each other once a week and not DTD yet - but come close. His texting style also causes me anxiety - he leaves me on read for ages, or just doesn't open my messages for hours. The last guy was a dickhead re Tinder but our communication styles matched perfectly.

So do I just hunker down and look forward to seeing him when I can, and work through the text anxiety? I know that's my issue, he's always been like it but I get so het up when he doesn't reply, I'm convinced he's ghosting me. He rarely says goodnight/good morning and I'm just not used to that.

I don't want to throw this away because honestly, he feels like my One but this anxiety from texts, plus not seeing him much, is quite a thorn in my side.

Would appreciate any thoughts!

@Blackcatnofat could it be a case of he wants to take his time to think of a reply to you? What type of job does he have, does he have regular breaks or could it be he doesn’t have time to text back? Some people are also less into spending time on their phone than others. As you get more comfortable with him maybe you could bring it up, mention that it makes you anxious

DdraigGoch

Just say hello you look nice !
Yeah I drink wine but have very little to say abiut it

Blackcatnofat
I hear ya
WhatsApp is a curse
And can make us feel shit unnecessarily
I’d judge him by the quality of the interactions you do have
Rather than his WhatsApp game
But if he’s nice it’s worth a conversation ? And if you can’t discuss communication he might not be the one ?

@Heartbeats0708

Checking in purely for *@ButterflyOfShay and Mr Turk update 🤞 and to say great news on the date and enjoy Wednesday @ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers*!

Thank you @Heartbeats. Great to hear from you 🥰 hope everything's okay with you ❤️

[quote Stepcount]@ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers, that’s great news. I’m glad you’ve found more time to get together. I hope it’s a lovely evening 🥰[/quote]
Thanks @Stepcount. I hope so too 🥰

Yeah @Blackcatnofat what does he do? The last guy I was dating, we used to message once a day, I couldn’t be arsed with more than that, it was really good when we met up. It’s hard though when you like someone!

Thanks @Heartbeats0708 hope all’s good with you? x

@Blackcatnofat
I think that’s a bit tricky as everyone’s texting style is different, personally I never say good morning / evening and wouldn’t think about replying quickly, unfortunately I think you may need tocompromise a bit, explaining to to your partner that would like a bit more communication, but be ready for small step changes

So I bumped into someone in the supermarket, who had just moved in with her new bloke, having met him on Classic FM Romance. Which is actually a bunch of sites in one. So I joined, and I like it. You fill out a lot of info so you can get a good idea of interests, compatibility, etc. You can favourite someone and they will know and can check out your profile. And you get a message when someone has favourited you so you can check them out. The two are never the same, obviously... but it's refreshing getting a lot of interest.

I'm finding myself not being very invested though, because I've been thinking a lot about Mr Favourite Place. For a recap - we met on Tinder, he's lovely but I didn't fancy him even after we had dtd and he always made it very clear how much he liked me. I offered friendship. He's been doing up his new house but we met up at the weekend and chatted loads and it was really lovely. It was like the pressure of having met on a dating site and having to either attempt a relationship or never see each other again had lifted, and I was so comfortable in his company. I still don't fancy him, but I'm beginning to find him more attractive as I'm getting to know him better. And scrolling the apps started feeling a bit wrong. So I don't know, I may never get there but it would be great if I did. He really is one of the good guys. I don't want to rip his clothes off though 😪

I, too, will look forward to updates about Mr Turk - say hi to him! And have a great date Icrunch

What do you all think about height differences? I've tended to be with guys on the shorter side so around my height of 5ft 8. What about someone around 5ft 4 if I'm 5ft 9 in heels. What are the practicalities in terms of dtd? Anyone any experience?

All is good with me thank you @ButterflyOfShay and @ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers!
Coming up to 10 months with my lovely Mr D and despite some stress on my side we're very much in love. I've learned some important lessons in communication lately and looking forward to unpicking it with my therapist. This thread is invaluable for prompting me to evaluate my part in issues I feel!
@Daydreamscometrue in my experience it doesn't matter a jot when you're lying down an extreme height difference could make certain positions more difficult I suppose but that alone wouldn't be enough to put me off.

@Daydreamscometrue there’s more than a foot between me and my current partner. Think the biggest height gap I’ve had is 1 foot 3 inches! But that’s with them being taller. I haven’t found it makes any difference lying down either 😅 The biggest thing is probably whether you fancy them

@WeWantTheFinestWines that is really lovely! Maybe he’s a grower! 💗

So today I am wfh and so will be doing the regular lunchtime excursion and I already feel sick snd excited about walking up the high street and seeing him 😆

@Daydreamscometrue

What do you all think about height differences? I've tended to be with guys on the shorter side so around my height of 5ft 8. What about someone around 5ft 4 if I'm 5ft 9 in heels. What are the practicalities in terms of dtd? Anyone any experience?

I’m a 6ft man, all my partners have been shorter than me, and there have never been any issues with Dtd,…

MrS coming over for lunch today. I'm excited and a bit nervous. I'm currently off work, but he will have meetings etc, so I am not expecting much (if any) physical action. (Also, my period has arrived - maybe for the best to ensure no hasty decisions about DTD).

Generally re getting physical: after our date on Saturday, I actually kissed him first and basically invited myself into his home. I'm not sure how brave either of us would even be about initiating physical contact in the cold light of day.

@ButterflyOfShay excited to hear the update later!

@Heartbeats0708 oh, I'm so pleased to hear things are going well for you and Mr D. ❤️

I'm feeling much better than I was and am now having regular physio which has done wonders.

Thank you for the good date wishes 😘

And thank you to @WeWantTheFinestWines too ❤️

And best of luck to @ButterflyOfShay for today. ❤️

@Daydreamscometrue

I’m tall and love someone taller than me. But I’ve definitely fancied shorter men. If the spark is there, it’s there right? And as my tall friend used to say: when you’re on top they are the right height to lick you left nipples