Dating Thread 226: Springing into Spring

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@Badbaddog

Thanks both, and I won’t accuse you of mansplaining - I did ask 😂

All three of my DDs are late 20s and their frankly lovely bfs have plenty of attitudes and behaviours that I identify as very different to those of my generation of men - my generation could learn a lot from the younger generation, if they put their minds to it!

Lol, thanks for the free pass..

I’m not surprised by the different attitudes, when I was a young man, things there were seen as “traditional”, I would see as old-fashioned, and I’m sure your DDs BF’s would probably see me as old fashioned now, and when I’m in my box ppl will look back on men paying as being old fashioned

Do we think that when a woman says she’s looking for “an old fashioned man” on her dating profile, that means one who will pay?

@FloydPepper
Possibly means don’t be an arsehole

Yes, it could mean that she's expecting a free dinner. It could alternatively mean "polite and well mannered".

It could mean anything really couldn’t it?

@DdraigGoch

Yes, it could mean that she's expecting a free dinner. It could alternatively mean "polite and well mannered".

True. I’m polite and well mannered. I’m also not an arsehole. I don’t think I’d describe myself as old fashioned. I’d see it as meaning “traditional” views on n a woman’s place at home and in society. Those aren’t my views

It’s a phrase to be seen pop up a few times tbh

I’ve seen, not to be seen

I would not swipe right on a man who espoused 'traditional values' because to a certain generation... my generation...I think for many it means traditional gender stereotypes which I don't agree with.

And you're all making me think about the paying for dinner thing and why I want to be treated first when I'm so about equality. And I realise it's because my ex never treated. We went Dutch from day one. Despite him earning more than me at the time, albeit at the same time somehow being perpetually skint. Then he stopped earning and I paid for everything for over a decade. He was quite happy to accept my generosity. So I think the reason I want someone to put their hand in their pocket on a first date is not that I don't want to pay, it's that I need to know that they do, and they CAN. So really, I need to know that we can be equals, as I know I will happily treat him, even if he does not know that yet.

My first dates are always coffee and I will happily offer to pay. If the guy wants a second date and offers lunch or dinner then he is paying. I dont care if thats old fashioned.

@Stepcount thank you, I'm actually en route now though very nervous after so long whether I'll be attracted. It's like a first date again!

Eek @Eesha you're gonna be crazy for each other! Enjoy babes you've waited long enough 💗💗

Eesha
Have fun 🤩

Hope you're having a great time Esha!

My dating life is nonexistent but I was cheered up when I got a message last night from someone who declared that he was hopelessly in love with me when we were at school together in the 1980s! 🤣 He was a year below me and I have no recollection of him whatsoever. I also used to think nobody would ever fancy me as I wore glasses, and there he was pining 😅 Looking at his fb I don't think we have a lot in common and we're in different countries so it's not the beginning of a beautiful story, but it did put a smile on my face. It also reminded me of a work reunion I went to years ago when a few blokes told me they used to fancy me when we worked together. It's nice but also makes me sad because I never knew and I wish someone had spoken to me because I was single the entire time I worked there. There is obviously something about me that makes men not approach me, even if they like me 😪

@MrsBerthaRochester

My first dates are always coffee and I will happily offer to pay. If the guy wants a second date and offers lunch or dinner then he is paying. I dont care if thats old fashioned.

I don’t think this is old fashioned at all, I think this just plain good advice that is suitable for both genders, if a woman wants to take me then she can pay.

Hello all, new person here. Just dipping my toe (again) into the world of OLD. Trying to avoid weirdo's alcoholics, narcissists and general tw*ts, as that appears to be what I attract. Am well scripted on red flags, so fingers crossed for this time around!

@ownedbygreyhounds

Hello all, new person here. Just dipping my toe (again) into the world of OLD. Trying to avoid weirdo's alcoholics, narcissists and general tw*ts, as that appears to be what I attract. Am well scripted on red flags, so fingers crossed for this time around!

Welcome and good luck!

@DdraigGoch I had a Google of the Two steps from hell and it looks intriguing! Would deffo go if someone offered me a free ticket. Though not as a first date

What would you guys think of a man setting his age range on the apps as up to twelve years younger than him but only three years older? Is this just what a lot of men do? As a woman I wouldn’t want to date someone 12 years younger than myself.

Stayingstrongish
I’d say he’s an optimist and maybe watches too much pornhub

@Thisisworsethananticpated

Stayingstrongish I’d say he’s an optimist and maybe watches too much pornhub

😂😂

@Stayingstrongish

What would you guys think of a man setting his age range on the apps as up to twelve years younger than him but only three years older? Is this just what a lot of men do? As a woman I wouldn’t want to date someone 12 years younger than myself.

Optimistic? I’m 52, not sure I’d like to date a 40 yr old, I tended to go +/- 5 or so.

But I would say go for it

I've just asked Mr History if he wants to go out this week. He's said yes. We're going to hopefully confirm things at the beginning of next week, once he knows what he's doing at work this week 😃❤️

Sorry, I meant next week! 😃❤️

@Stayingstrongish

What would you guys think of a man setting his age range on the apps as up to twelve years younger than him but only three years older? Is this just what a lot of men do? As a woman I wouldn’t want to date someone 12 years younger than myself.

I’d say it’s just a preference, like only wanting men 6’ tall when you’re a 5’ woman, or only wanting slim/fit dates.

@ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers, that’s all sounding very positive. He’s also heading towards the 2 week Easter break from work so hopefully he’ll be able to meet then too. It’s good that you feel able to suggest meeting up but for my self esteem I also like when the other person also makes some suggestions too. Let’s hope that his schedule next week allows him time to see you. 🤞🏼