Dating Thread 226: Springing into Spring

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Just got in. I'm pleased to report that I really fancy Mr History

It was a bit awkward when we first sat down and there were some silences but they were companionable. They took me a bit of time to get used to, because I always get a bit anxious to fill any silences, but I soon got used to them.

He was fantastic company and asked me a lot about myself and seemed to really want to get to know me.

And he waited with me for my lift and the end of the date! What's not to like? 😍

I really hope I see him again ❤️🤞🏻😊

@30somethingandstillsingle I have to admit that this gives me pause if only because it suggests he thinks he may have done something wrong but he's not having an open conversation about it.

I do probably tend toward suspicion of men though!

@ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers that sounds fantastic!!!

@ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers
That sounds great, let’s hope he doesn’t become History and that you don’t have to Teacher him anything

Yay for all the good dates today!

I’ve had to go to my ex today for help sorting a new phone because I couldn’t order a new one without having my phone to verify with payment the bank 🤦‍♀️ and I HATE that he’s still my ‘in an emergency/need a favour’ person

I've been back on Bumble for a couple of months now, was on it 2018-20, but what has happened to it?! My search radius includes Brighton and Guildford so you'd think there'd be loads of choice but I get a handful of profiles (if that) each day. Looking at men between mid 40s to 60. Half of these appear to live in a totally different place, usually the US... 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don't see any profile locations at Gatwick like I used to which might have explained the "men in transit". Where is everyone?!! Mid 50s female here and definitely not past it!! 😂

I've now arranged a date for Saturday with my lunch date, whom I will call MrS.

He proposed a coffee and walk followed by cinema and dinner. Maybe a bit full on, but we will then have schedule clashes for almost a full month. I've suggested specific dinner and movie options and he's keen

@AquaTofana

I've been back on Bumble for a couple of months now, was on it 2018-20, but what has happened to it?! My search radius includes Brighton and Guildford so you'd think there'd be loads of choice but I get a handful of profiles (if that) each day. Looking at men between mid 40s to 60. Half of these appear to live in a totally different place, usually the US... 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don't see any profile locations at Gatwick like I used to which might have explained the "men in transit". Where is everyone?!! Mid 50s female here and definitely not past it!! 😂

I know The only guys i seem to see are my friends husbands and fiances Guys I know who have been creeps to friends and guys on holiday 😂

gelatodipistacchio
Wow ! That’s a long and busy date you have there 😁
How you feeling about it all ?
Happy for ya

ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers
There was clearly something in the spring air this week
Onwards and upwards

I’m a a strange new thing of having a very late period
Could it be pregnancy !
Could it be menopause ? (Peri)
It’s the latter as we use condoms and I’ve done 3 tests
Jaysus

No sparks on my date last night. 🙄

@Boiledcabbages, that's a shame. Had the chat and interaction been good beforehand ? hopefully you have other options to explore.
@ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers, so good to read that you had a great date. Have you continued to chat since ?
@gelatodipistacchio, how's things going post date? Is this the iron you nearly didn't meet ? the next pencilled in date sounds fab.

[quote Stepcount]@Boiledcabbages, that's a shame. Had the chat and interaction been good beforehand ? hopefully you have other options to explore.
@ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers, so good to read that you had a great date. Have you continued to chat since ?
@gelatodipistacchio, how's things going post date? Is this the iron you nearly didn't meet ? the next pencilled in date sounds fab.[/quote]
@Stepcount thank you 😊 I'm really chuffed. He's been flat out at work for the past few days, So we've only chatted briefly, but I'm going to ask him if if he wants to go out again at the weekend. ❤️

Boiledcabbages

These things happen sadly
Don’t get too downhearted
Next !

@Thisisworsethananticpated is it strange to be congratulating you on peri menopause???

@Stepcount Yes, I almost skipped that date. I seem to be making all the plans for this next date, which maybe is ok but also I feel a desire to be wooed a bit(?)

We also split the bill for lunch. I feel extremely mildly put out about this on the same basis. Apparently I am old -fashioned in some ways. It's a real conflict.

Thats a shame @Boiledcabbages but applause from me for getting out there and trying!! Braver than me, its takes guts!! 💛

@gelatodipistacchio It’s completely 1950s etc but I always feel disheartened when a guy is ungenerous. Deep down I’d think he’s not the one for me. I’m a really generous person but I like a guy to make an effort. I don't care if anyone thinks its antiquated!

Im that way to butterfly and shay
I don’t want an expensive meal , but offer to get the first coffee and or wine
And I’ll get the next one
That said I seem to uniformly date poorer than me men

Gelato , I’ve come on
Phew 😥

@Thisisworsethananticpated

ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers There was clearly something in the spring air this week Onwards and upwards

@Thisisworsethananticpated 🙂❤️

[quote gelatodipistacchio]@Thisisworsethananticpated is it strange to be congratulating you on peri menopause???

@Stepcount Yes, I almost skipped that date. I seem to be making all the plans for this next date, which maybe is ok but also I feel a desire to be wooed a bit(?)

We also split the bill for lunch. I feel extremely mildly put out about this on the same basis. Apparently I am old -fashioned in some ways. It's a real conflict.[/quote]
Out of interest, why do you feel put out ?

I keep reading on this site that some women like to go 50/50 and pay their way & some like the man to pay,
which as a man is a bloody mine field to negotiate your way through

As you have that kind of hesitation when reaching for the bill,
Personally I don’t mind paying, but I hate it when the other person doesn’t even make an effort to protest 🪧

[quote ButterflyOfShay]@gelatodipistacchio It’s completely 1950s etc but I always feel disheartened when a guy is ungenerous. Deep down I’d think he’s not the one for me. I’m a really generous person but I like a guy to make an effort. I don't care if anyone thinks its antiquated![/quote]
I feel the same way. I've only ever been on drinks dates and only tend to have the one drink so it's not like I'm an expensive date.

Hey everyone,

So nice to read stories of lovely dates and chemistry!

I’m in a dilemma and did a general post about it but wish I’d asked here…

I exchanged numbers with a guy on Hinge, he’s easy to chat to and we have hobbies in common, however he doesn’t ask anything about me!

He texts every day but it’s related to what he’s been doing. Pics of his house renovations etc.
we’re due to meet on Saturday at an event and I’m really in 2 minds… The event is an hour each way, it’s an interest of mine so quite keen to go, but I don’t want to waste a full day on a guy who hasn’t asked me a single thing about myself.

I don’t know whether to:

1. Raise it as a lighthearted comment and see how he responds
2. Go and see what he’s like in person
3. Cancel and don’t go

What do you think?

I wouldn’t bother

@Pavesi if you are keen on the event anyway it won't be a wasted day. Go to the event with the added benefit of meeting in person to know for sure yes or no.