Help. Dp just fought me

[Givemelemons]

Just posted a thread about breaking up with my partner. He agreed I could sleep in the bed whilst he slept downstairs until I move out with our baby. Came upstairs he refused to leave and told me to sleep downstairs. I have a bad back and this got my back up as why we broke up is because he says things then just doesnt follow through with it.

I said fine I will pack a small bag go to my parents for the night then come back in the morning. I went to turn the light on and he turned it off like some kid. After some back and forthing of this he grabbed my hand multiple times really hard so i went to turn our side light on. He then proceeded to grab my legs (switch is on the floor) and dug in really bad. It still hurts. He got the quilt and pillows and anything he could and whacked me with it and it burns. He took the light bulbs out of the socket so I cant use it. All the meanwhile his dad stood outside our door listening and done and said nothing other than keep it down.

Does this count as physical abuse? He has pushed me as well and his parents talked it down to be nothing and so has he. He was angry at the time and blamed me for it

Haven’t you already got plans to move out next week? It’s not long until then. Even if your parents aren’t that supportive, surely they can have you there until then. Or a cheap hotel on a credit card could be another option to tide you over.

You are not alone. Send a group message to all of your friends, no matter how far away and tell them what is happening, they may be more able to help than you think and if not physically, they can be there for you in other ways. Please, please call the police and get your baby out. You can do it.

Hotel is a good shout. Just want to be alone with baby right now i will look

You come from a dysfunctional family where violence is normalised. You are reacting normally which is surprising to them. Your dp's family are minimising because he's their son.
You have correctly identified this as unacceptable.
Either ring the police tonight to be escorted out or ring them and ask them to come in the morning. Whichever you choose, pack essentials including documentation and take your baby with you.

[quote Givemelemons]@Fernsinthegarden honestly i just sat here looking at my contacts trying to reach out to someone anyone that can come over and help me. I have no one. Im young none of my friends have a house of their own and all of them live far away. I dont have that many friends anyways. Im all utterly alone[/quote]
Jeez, Melemons, that's sad. I'm sorry .

It sounds a horrible way to live, and you CAN change the pattern, and live abuse free.

You can bring your daughter up alone, far better to be alone than with an abusive shit and his ghastly family.

Yes, the local travelodge will do

@Givemelemons

Hotel is a good shout. Just want to be alone with baby right now i will look

Good Luck :) First steps to an abuse free life.

Has this happened before? It sounds very familiar

@PastMyBestBeforeDate

You come from a dysfunctional family where violence is normalised. You are reacting normally which is surprising to them. Your dp's family are minimising because he's their son. You have correctly identified this as unacceptable. Either ring the police tonight to be escorted out or ring them and ask them to come in the morning. Whichever you choose, pack essentials including documentation and take your baby with you.

Absolutely this

I cant find any hotels that let you book in for tonight

@Givemelemons

Im trying to pack my stuff but he took the light bulbs out i cant even see in the dark ha ha.

Can you use your phone or laptop as a ''Torch'' if you have a charger in the room? The torch element can be quite bright.

Brilliant OP, check into a hotel for tonight, they will have a travel cot and amenities, you can Deliveroo food/bottles as necessary. You do need to speak to the police though, any sign of there being any difficulty in leaving and get straight onto the phone, don’t worry about the repercussions on a man who has abused you.

You looked for three minutes.

I would ring rather than try a booking site.

@TherapistInATabard yes he pushed me and i posted about it. His family down played it my partner would said he would get counselling it all got swept under the rug and that was that. They wouldnt let me leave not that they were physically stopping me but the mum started crying and following me around the house. I went to my car to leave and she stood in the door way and said womans aid would laugh at me and i can never take my daughter from my partner. She said it like a threat.

Any hotel with rooms available and a concierge will allow you to book in tomight

@PurpleDaisies

You looked for three minutes.

I would ring rather than try a booking site.

Yes, I thought the same!

OP, Make that first move..There will be hotels that will let you book in for tonight, unless you are really rural.

@PurpleDaisies

You looked for three minutes.

I would ring rather than try a booking site.

Give her a break, she is in shock and obviously extremely tired-maybe just be nicer.

OP💐 You need to leave and report to police. But if you feel you can't tonight and feel safe until the morning then go then. But please don't hesitate to.call police if he wakes up.
Do you have much freedom? Can you take baby in the car "shopping" and leave in the morning?
You need to contact womans aid and local council to help.

[quote Givemelemons]@TherapistInATabard yes he pushed me and i posted about it. His family down played it my partner would said he would get counselling it all got swept under the rug and that was that. They wouldnt let me leave not that they were physically stopping me but the mum started crying and following me around the house. I went to my car to leave and she stood in the door way and said womans aid would laugh at me and i can never take my daughter from my partner. She said it like a threat.[/quote]
When you leave, Leave like you are going for a walk.
This family sound grim.

Of course women's aid won't ''Laugh at you''!
Don't believe his manipulative mother.
You are in just the sort of situation that they are there for.

So it's actually the second time he has assaulted you, and the level of the assault has escalated? You really need you and your baby safely out of there. If you can't leave, then call the police.

Pls keep talking to me im on the phone to hotels

@onanotherday

OP💐 You need to leave and report to police. But if you feel you can't tonight and feel safe until the morning then go then. But please don't hesitate to.call police if he wakes up. Do you have much freedom? Can you take baby in the car "shopping" and leave in the morning? You need to contact womans aid and local council to help.

Good call. :)

@Givemelemons

Pls keep talking to me im on the phone to hotels

Good for you Melemons :)

Your support is so helpful. Im trying to find a local booking as i dont want to drive far tired and with my baby in the car. Im hoping if i keep posting on here i will surprise myself and have the courage to do this

You can do it