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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Help. Dp just fought me

305 replies

Givemelemons · 10/03/2022 23:48

Just posted a thread about breaking up with my partner. He agreed I could sleep in the bed whilst he slept downstairs until I move out with our baby. Came upstairs he refused to leave and told me to sleep downstairs. I have a bad back and this got my back up as why we broke up is because he says things then just doesnt follow through with it.

I said fine I will pack a small bag go to my parents for the night then come back in the morning. I went to turn the light on and he turned it off like some kid. After some back and forthing of this he grabbed my hand multiple times really hard so i went to turn our side light on. He then proceeded to grab my legs (switch is on the floor) and dug in really bad. It still hurts. He got the quilt and pillows and anything he could and whacked me with it and it burns. He took the light bulbs out of the socket so I cant use it. All the meanwhile his dad stood outside our door listening and done and said nothing other than keep it down.

Does this count as physical abuse? He has pushed me as well and his parents talked it down to be nothing and so has he. He was angry at the time and blamed me for it

OP posts:
Fernsinthegarden · 11/03/2022 00:12

If he is capable of hurting you what on earth do you think would make him draw the line at his daughter. You need to leave OP, WITH YOUR BABY, and for gods sake, make sure your phone is secure and that he doesn’t check your browser history. Please call the police and leave.

Imperialmints · 11/03/2022 00:12

You really can. Please leave

Original poster
Givemelemons · 11/03/2022 00:13

He wouldnt hurt a baby. But when he gets angry he does change and becomes horrible. Im scared to leave on my own... the parents are going to make this easy

OP posts:
Original poster
Givemelemons · 11/03/2022 00:14

How shall i get my car keys? Partner is in the same room

What should i pack.

My head is a mess and im so tired

OP posts:
nocoolnamesleft · 11/03/2022 00:14

Call the police. Report the assault. If you don't, in the morning you will find an excuse to say. And then next time he assaults you, and hurts you more badly, you'll say that it wasn't that much worse. And the first time he hurts the baby, you'll say he didn't mean it. And you still won't leave. And it will spiral downwards. Act for your baby now. Call the police.

LittleOwl153 · 11/03/2022 00:15

DONT LEAVE YOUR BABY ALONE. If his parents are involved you will likely have to fight to even see her again if you leave her.

I think you should leave now - however I understand why you would not want to do that. It is tough with a little one. But do bear in mind you are likely to end up fleeing with what you can carry whenever you go.

Go onto the 101 website and fill in the police form if you cannot ring. The police will take you seriously. Take photos of any marks he has made on you. Take photos of the removed lights - thats horrible. If you can't face going now - go at first light before they are up. Your sister is wrong - your baby will survive a night of adventure. the question is will you be able to leave in the morning or is it safer for you to do so now?

Fernsinthegarden · 11/03/2022 00:15

OP keep your adrenaline going, there are people here listening to you and believing in you. There are people here who have been where you are and have made similar decisions to those you are now faced with. It will be no easier for you to leave in the morning than it is now, make your plans and carry them through. You can’t stay where you are, things will not improve. Your baby is safest with you. Please call the police and leave.

Imperialmints · 11/03/2022 00:16

Did you think he'd hurt you?

Original poster
Givemelemons · 11/03/2022 00:18

What should I take if anything? I feel so irresponsible just leaving.

The parents are still awake. They will try to stop me

OP posts:
Fernsinthegarden · 11/03/2022 00:19

@Givemelemons

How shall i get my car keys? Partner is in the same room

What should i pack.

My head is a mess and im so tired

Leave with what you can take - small bag, phone, whatever cash you have and bank cards, nappies, wipes, warm coat for you and baby, spare blanket. Call the police, they will be able to help with getting documents you’ll need later. It is most important to get out now with your baby.
SpittinKitten · 11/03/2022 00:19

If you call the police they will help you leave safely.

Original poster
Givemelemons · 11/03/2022 00:19

I just want to curl into a ball and cry myself to sleep. Will take photos of light bulb and still continue to pack

OP posts:
WhenPushComesToShove · 11/03/2022 00:20

Ring police immediately. It doesn't matter what partner and his parents say. All you need to tell police is that you have been attacked and you are frightened and need their help to leave. They will help you

Saffy321 · 11/03/2022 00:21

I think there is a special police text service?

Fernsinthegarden · 11/03/2022 00:22

This is the most responsible thing you can do. Get on the phone to the police and whilst you are on the phone to them leave. If his parents confront you then clearly tell them that you are going to stay with family for a while and will be in contact soon. Make sure you say this whilst on the phone to the police. Make sure the police know where you are calling from, what address.

Original poster
Givemelemons · 11/03/2022 00:22

@WhenPushComesToShove i really cant ring the police on him. All my family will even agree that its an over reaction

OP posts:
Bananarama21 · 11/03/2022 00:22

Sounds like your living with his parents in which case you need to leave the house with your child.

oakleaffy · 11/03/2022 00:23

@nocoolnamesleft

Call the police. Report the assault. If you don't, in the morning you will find an excuse to say. And then next time he assaults you, and hurts you more badly, you'll say that it wasn't that much worse. And the first time he hurts the baby, you'll say he didn't mean it. And you still won't leave. And it will spiral downwards. Act for your baby now. Call the police.
THIS.

He sounds a beastly man.

WhoppingBigBackside · 11/03/2022 00:23

Of course you can call the police. What he has done is Domestic Violence

PinkButtercups · 11/03/2022 00:24

You don't leave your baby anywhere. Where you go, your child goes. Please remember that. Don't be persuaded to me abs your child there so they can make out you 'abandoned' your child.

If you have somewhere to go, get out safely now with your child.

It doesn't matter if it's cold and late.
You and your child need safety x

Fernsinthegarden · 11/03/2022 00:24

It is not an overreaction, you are not wrong, you need to get out with your baby and get to safety. Do you have any friends you can call who can help you

PinkButtercups · 11/03/2022 00:24

Me abs was meant to read to leave

Imperialmints · 11/03/2022 00:25

It doesn't matter what they say. Please don't let them take your voice. You say something now.

Original poster
Givemelemons · 11/03/2022 00:26

@Fernsinthegarden honestly i just sat here looking at my contacts trying to reach out to someone anyone that can come over and help me. I have no one. Im young none of my friends have a house of their own and all of them live far away. I dont have that many friends anyways. Im all utterly alone

OP posts:
Original poster
Givemelemons · 11/03/2022 00:27

Im trying to pack my stuff but he took the light bulbs out i cant even see in the dark ha ha.

OP posts:
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