Amazing first date but then he sent me this message.

[Milomonster]

I met a lovely guy on Hinge, and had the most wonderful date. It ended with us saying we’d like to meet again. There were a few messages back and forth afterwards, and then he sent me this. My friends are divided on what he means. I think it’s the start of breadcrumbing.

“So I need to be completely open with you and I hope we can align our schedules but this will probably require a bit of patience so I apologise in advance. I typically have a very busy schedule, with kids, work can often very demanding time wise, varied friends and I tend to be an active individual. I’m sure you do to, which I think is great. Now I personally don’t see this as a bad thing but people have struggled with it in the past so I think it’s only fair to tell you. My good friends tease me about it. It’s just who I am, life is full of adventure. Now I’m happy to be patient, we’ll definitely find windows of opportunity.”

Sack it off, no ones that busy.

Oh my word, he does think he's so special and that any time he spends with you you should be VERY GRATEFUL for. Run a Mile!

It’s just who I am

I would have immediately dumped someone if they had written those words. Never mind how ever adventurous he thinks going to a different pub is

I mean he isn’t exactly climbing Mount Kilimanjaro or going down the Cresta Run

His adventures are probably which bar he goes to or whether he takes the kids to Legoland or Peppa Pig world

Crossing the Serengeti on foot or getting the cable car over Chessington Zoo?

Mind you I would have liked to hear about these amazing adventures he has between his office job in the city and the tube ride home

Pretty much unanimous. He was very down-to earth, funny, charming, beautiful manners, and absolutely gorgeous. There was nothing pompous about him at all. I don’t think the message reflects how he was in person. That’s what baffles me.

He's a classic love bomber/manipulator, this is his reeling you in act & not who he is. His arrogant assed message is who he really is

@Easterbunnyiswindowshopping

Did' to' just have one o? Ltb for that.

LOL! Definitely this!

I'd have taken the message as an advance explanation if you struggle pinning him down for a second date, but that he likes you and wants to see you again. But then I married my first boyfriend and really am not up to scratch with dating nuances!

I'd say his ego was dented by the fact that you were busy - he was probably expecting to see you at the weekend - so he came out with this little spiel to try to increase his value and it backfired. No matter what his intentions, the way it's written is such a turn-off! The last line says to me that he'll fit you in for a shag here and there, but to not expect anything more.

It's quite creepily manipulative actually, because he's saying that he's prepared to be patient, whilst asking you to be patient. And why is he even expecting you to want to spend lots of time with him anyway, I'd be quite insulted that he would be expecting me to be needy.

He is saying that he is very busy doing fun stuff because he is soooo interesting, he will possibly fit you in if he can be bothered but quite possibly he will be much too busy with his incredible life.

@Milomonster

UPDATE: I messaged him as I like closure on this kind of shit. I said I didn’t quite understand what his message meant, but I gleaned he wanted something casual when he could fit it in, and that didn’t suit me. I would like to leave it here and wished him well.

He replied by saying sorry that he’d been distant as things had been busy with work, and that wasn’t fair on me. He thanked me for my message and wished me well (but didn’t apologize for wanky message).

Thank you all for your witty comments, support, kindness. I’ve been howling with laughter at the comments. Life is an adventure and a window of opportunity will arise when the right man will come into my life who will actively align his schedule with mine. My good friends will, one day, tease me about the wanky text.

Oh, I didn't see this! Ignore my previous comment.

You handled it really well... it's a good job I'm not single or I would totally not twig at wanky messages! x

I think it's online dating.

OLD that is.

@Bettyboopawoop

What if he genuinely is a busy person and just wants to be up front with you from the beggining? Perhaps that's why he is also on a dating app? However he could also be married and wanting a bit of fluff.

If that was the case, why didn't he say something before meeting up for the first time?

Anyway it's something about how this is written. It just sounds like wanky bollocks from some PUA manual.

He probably tries this out with a lot of women and some of them say yes. It's great that we're starting to get wise to this kind of gameplaying.

What an arrogant wanker.

He isn’t serious but wants to keep you hanging on so he can call you when he feels like it. I would just say “yeah ok” and be unavailable in future.

This ⬆️

"Don't flatter yourself, you're not that special, bye.." would be my reply..

It means I’ll call you at 3am.

His reply to your reply apologising for "being distant " is fucking weird too, its a strange thing to say to someone you barely know and have went on 1 date with

[quote Milomonster]@Sisisimone men claim they like independent women, but they don’t. A woman must not be too clever, too attractive, too interesting.[/quote]
That has not been my experience. There is bound to be some insecure men that might feel threatened but certainly not all men by a long shot. Sounds like you've been very unfortunate in what type of men you've met. This one sounds like a complete tosser. I dont know anyone in my very wide circle of friends and work colleagues that would write such a twattish text. Hope you have better luck next time!

It’s Geller.

Arrogant. Probably wifed-up.
Avoid!!!

What is reference to Gellar?

@Socksorting

It’s Geller.

He’s not in London - thankfully. I’d say it’s Geller-eque for sure 😂😂

What is going on in the minds of these useless fuckers. It's like they've been scrambled. That message is so inappropriate after one date, so presumptuous, weird and pompous. He comes across like a car crash with no clue about how dire and lame he sounds. Women are so many miles ahead of men, and if that wasn't bad enough, they think we're the stupid ones! It's unbelievable and embarrassing. I think we should push the lot of them into a murky pond without so much as a 1 second backward glance.

I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d learned that spiel from some bloody dating coach or similar. Well rid.

He has seen a message to say "I've got a lot on" as an opportunity to write a pretty thinly veiled advert for himself. God love him, he does think he's rather splendid doesn't he? Billy Busy Big Balls. Personally I think he sounds like an insufferable big head and all round arsehole but maybe that's just me.

If only more women could have this 100% stone cold confidence eh? What a world we would live in!