Choking during sex, is this normal

[IsThisNormalOr]

I went on a date last night and we ended up getting drunk and having sex. Everything was fine and I was enjoying it but at one point when he was on top of me he put his hands around my neck for a few seconds (not hard, and then he stopped and we switched positions) I didn't say anything. Is this normal? I've never experienced it before. We got on well and he wants to see me again...

Well you're obviously better at it than I am.
DH is always forgiving of it.

Honestly if you keep strangling other people you might want to stop moving or adjusting yourself in a way that strangles them.

@Ifeelgoodgoodgood maybe you need to strengthen your core then you wouldn't need to lean on anything in order to 'move' ?!

I don't know whether to be or but you aren't making any sense.

@Ifeelgoodgoodgood

Like I said. I've realised he did it with 2 hands. Not one. And again, I'm not very good in bed and when I am on top I sometimes slip or move and use my had to help me adjust. This puts pressure on DH. It's happened around 4 times. Again, I'm bad in bed. Will discuss with DH tonight and make sure I don't do it again.

Good.

I mean you’ve got an entire bed - and an entire human to put your weight and hand on - so avoiding the tiny neck area really shouldn’t be that challenging…………

@Ifeelgoodgoodgood

I mean, has it been proven that he did it to choke OP?

It's not at the court stage yet but give it time. He shows potential

@RampantIvy

Can you say what you like about it *@theveryhungrycatapillar*?

I can't imagine enjoying being strangled TBH - the feeling of not being in control and the claustrophobia is something that I simply can't understand what is so enjoyable.

I suppose it depends what your into sexually. Now I'm not saying everytime I have sex I want to be chocked but sometimes if I want things rougher than I enjoy it. Obviously my DH wouldn't do it if I wasn't comfortable with it

@Ifeelgoodgoodgood

I mean, has it been proven that he did it to choke OP?

Dear god let nobody report that! Let ot stand so everyone can see it!

The narrative that is concerning and repeated by a pp who enjoys being chocked is that it can be done safely

No it can’t and anyone who is consenting to this act should be aware that it can’t be done safely it’s a risky act

I suppose if he's clever he'll build up a bank of 'evidence' first that it was a sex game gone wrong? Getting her to engage via messaging would be one way - hence the content of the text to OP. If she engages, then he kills her, his lawyer could say look your honour they were two people participating in sex games and it went tragically wrong.

Of course, there's the additional masochistic thrill of going on endlessly about how fab and normal it is to extend the pleasure of those claiming it to be so. Frankly, it's weird, and so is persistently claiming its not.

@HRTQueen

The narrative that is concerning and repeated by a pp who enjoys being chocked is that it can be done safely

No it can’t and anyone who is consenting to this act should be aware that it can’t be done safely it’s a risky act

Yes it can else I wouldn't be hear. The word choking is misleading. It shouldn't actually hurt or restrict your breathing, that would be abuse, it's light pressure on the neck. And whether you like it or not, you know that.

Same as whipping. Some people do that. You know damn well they're not using a cat-o-nine-tails to do it, it's don't in a consensual manner, it's not a brutal beating.

Fair enough if you don't like it but comparing it to strangulation is just stupid. Some of you watch too much porn

Um yes, choking is very dangerous. You seem to be minimising.

Here is the disclaimer on a mens health article about it before even getting into how to do it safely. Note how it actually does reference that’s in awful idea to do on a first date.

I’m not sure why you think it’s not hugely dangerous to be honest.

And it IS strangulation. Strangulation is the act that occurs to cause the choking.

@gobbyshafto

Fair enough if you don't like it but comparing it to strangulation is just stupid. Some of you watch too much porn

You are wrong.

I’m surprised that this is still being debated. Between consenting partners who both understand the risks and know when to stop? Fine. Anything outside of that is unacceptable and should be avoided entirely.

"Dizzy feeling" eh. Sounds harmless

Will discuss with DH tonight and make sure I don't do it again.

You never know, he might say he liked it