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Original poster

Choking during sex, is this normal

635 replies

IsThisNormalOr · 07/03/2022 21:15

I went on a date last night and we ended up getting drunk and having sex. Everything was fine and I was enjoying it but at one point when he was on top of me he put his hands around my neck for a few seconds (not hard, and then he stopped and we switched positions) I didn't say anything. Is this normal? I've never experienced it before. We got on well and he wants to see me again...

OP posts:
AndStand · 07/03/2022 23:17

If pressure at the sides of the neck gives a dizzy feeling then think about why that is.
Yes your jugular veins run down the sides of your neck. Because there's nothing like cutting off the blood flow out of your head to give that sexy feeling.

Original poster
IsThisNormalOr · 07/03/2022 23:17

Thanks everyone. I'm a single mum in my 20s and have only had 1 proper relationship before which was their father. To be honest, this has made me realise I'm not ready for dating. I've actually just received a random drunk message from him as he was out with his friends telling me he can't wait to see me again to ram his hard d*ck in me. Urgh. Block.

OP posts:
PenStation · 07/03/2022 23:17

Well the easiest course of action is to just not see him again. Block him and move on. But clearly the OP isn’t entirely settled with this.

PenStation · 07/03/2022 23:18

Cross posts! Definitely block him, he sounds awful. And has he got a drink problem? It’s a Monday night…

BeHappy91818 · 07/03/2022 23:19

@yourestandingonmyneck

Only try it if it’s something you think you will like and feel comfortable doing.

I’m not sure what my age has got anything to do with it though :)

Feelinglow27 · 07/03/2022 23:19

Honestly this is so depressing.

HoldingTheDoor · 07/03/2022 23:20

I don't know what's more depressing. People blaming the OP for what happened or people trying to defend a man choking a woman.

HRTQueen · 07/03/2022 23:20

BeHappy91818 the op asks if this is normal. A dangerous acThe asking in itself is concerning or are your boundaries so blurred you don’t get this

IsThisNormalOr block and move on there are nice men out there when you are ready

HoldingTheDoor · 07/03/2022 23:22

Only try it if it’s something you think you will like and feel comfortable doing.

And if you don't mind suffering a stroke, brain damage or dying.

MrsEdnaWelthorpe · 07/03/2022 23:22

@BeHappy91818 you know it is dangerous though, right? It is actually scarily easy for someone to die by accidental strangulation. If you enjoy it, that's fine, but please don't try to make out that it's safe.

BeHappy91818 · 07/03/2022 23:23

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BeHappy91818 · 07/03/2022 23:24

[quote MrsEdnaWelthorpe]@BeHappy91818 you know it is dangerous though, right? It is actually scarily easy for someone to die by accidental strangulation. If you enjoy it, that's fine, but please don't try to make out that it's safe.[/quote]
Hang on…….. where did I say it’s a 100% safe? Hmm

I know the risks.

yourestandingonmyneck · 07/03/2022 23:24

[quote BeHappy91818]@yourestandingonmyneck

Only try it if it’s something you think you will like and feel comfortable doing.

I’m not sure what my age has got anything to do with it though :)[/quote]
@BeHappy91818 I don't think im going to try it, im just very curious as to what makes it enjoyable.

I was just asking about age as I don't think this is really something my generation did (im 39).

I've only really heard of it in the past year or so and assumed it was mostly youngsters doing it...,I could wrong though.

Lou98 · 07/03/2022 23:25

@IsThisNormalOr

Thanks everyone. I'm a single mum in my 20s and have only had 1 proper relationship before which was their father. To be honest, this has made me realise I'm not ready for dating. I've actually just received a random drunk message from him as he was out with his friends telling me he can't wait to see me again to ram his hard d*ck in me. Urgh. Block.

Blocking is definitely the right thing - he shouldn't be sending you messages like that when you barely know him - it does scream red flag to me.

Some people do enjoy choking etc during sex, myself included - it's something my DP and I enjoy but it's not something I would ever do with someone I've just met and definitely not if we hadn't discussed it first. It's something that you really need to be comfortable with the person you're doing it with.
He should never have assumed it was okay and went ahead and done it without talking to you - get rid of him OP

BeHappy91818 · 07/03/2022 23:25

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MrsEdnaWelthorpe · 07/03/2022 23:25

@MadForBurpees

Now I'm. REALLY going to sound old fashioned but seriously - sleeping with a man you have just met - he will think he can do what he wants. This isn't right at all. I am anti porn, anti lap dance/strip club and I don't believe that any of this bollocks "empowers" women but I do believe in the Madonna/whore complex. It's not right but it's there. I'm not defending that guy - he's scum - but please don't give yourself away.
Bollocks, I'm 50 and had plenty of one night stands in my 20s. It's entirely possible for people to have casual sex without someone being abused.
BeHappy91818 · 07/03/2022 23:26

@yourestandingonmyneck

I’m not a youngster. I’m also in my 30s.

boyblue · 07/03/2022 23:26

Massive no from me

geojellyfish · 07/03/2022 23:27

BeHappy why do you think the OP posted then? Clearly if she was comfortable with it, she would have had no need?

Women have good intuition, but because our boundaries seem constantly tested and pushed, some of us don't trust these instincts. We're gaslighted into wondering whether our discomfort is because we're out of touch, old fashioned, or don't understand, rather than due to their poor behaviour.

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 07/03/2022 23:27

He doesn’t know you at all and, after one night, he speaks to you like you are a selection of holes for his pleasure.

He’s full of the romance eh….

MrsIglesias · 07/03/2022 23:28

No

FionaMacCool · 07/03/2022 23:29

BeHappy91818

That’s clearly not what happens majority of the time 😂...

Well,........ let me see, do I want to increase my risk of stroke, brain damage or dying during sex? Hmm, nope.

Again, please refer to my previous post with the details of how non-fatal strangulation escalates. Or, where I reference the book from the forensic pathologist.

MrsIglesias · 07/03/2022 23:29

And tell him why so he doesn't do it again?

HoldingTheDoor · 07/03/2022 23:29

*That’s clearly not what happens majority of the time 😂

That makes it just fine then. So long as others get their orgasms, who gives a shit about those dead women who weren't so lucky or those left suffering brain damage or a stroke?

Benjispruce5 · 07/03/2022 23:31

Jeez. Why would you get wasted and go to bed with a stranger? Sooo dangerous! I’d run for the hills and try not to be so reckless next time. Sorry this happened.

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