Tick tock: the one where Geller discovers Polly is no longer a doormat

[StuckInPollyannaMode]

AKA Co-parenting: I do not think it means what you think it means

Here we go again my lovelies! Will this be the one where I finally get divorced?!

Previous thread here

I have clock news! Turns out, no one wants it. Quelle surprise. Could I sell it? No, sez I, it’s worth ha’penny tuppence on a good day. Plus, no time.

Ha ha.

I suggested, because I am a kind hearted soul and because it’s already in a box and I don’t know which one that they keep the clock face and I get rid of the mechanism and the case. That appears to be a reasonable compromise. Pass me an axe.

The reason for the clock conversation? My brother phoned. My mother has given away my grandfather’s WW1 medals to a museum. WTF?! We’re going to try and get them back. She can’t see what she’s done wrong.

Solicitors on the other side for the house purchase are useless. Estate agent spoke to them today. They are awaiting proof of ID and funds on account?! WTF. I lost my shit a bit. I’d just come back from having a filling so I sounded three gins down, which I’m sure added to the effect.

Oh, and I haven’t stopped laughing for the last hour. A friend has found Geller’s profile on a dating app. It contains such gems as ‘addressing climate change one word at a time in my career as a professional’ and goes on to claim he ‘always has time’

Given me the best laugh I’ve had since my solicitor said she’d call me just to be sure that I wanted to file for absolute once the finance order is made…

Anyway, buckle up loves. It’ll be a ride, as ever…glad you could join me.

Autumn hunkering down sounds good Polly!

Bloody hell is Geller going to email you dates for when he is taking his imaginary squeeze on a romantic break to the arse end of somewhere deeply unromantic? Remembernot to look wistful and remorseful when he launches into discussion about it. The man is a prize lump.

Glad you and the Dollies are doing well.

Hope the cough buggers off soon Polly. Are you still waiting on a court date for the financial agreement? Annoying how long it takes to shake off a big old turd from your life.

Sounds like you have been very productive, I'm impressed at the laying of the new bathroom floor. I've also started using the library again, although I borrow ebooks. I had to replace my old kindle this year and chose a Kobo specifically so I can borrow from the library, I love it. I've also borrowed a few audiobooks and listen to them via my phone or tablet, great at bedtime, or while I'm doing some boring household chore.

KOKO.

Sounds like Manchester went well and Gellar may want to take the next step of a week at Skeggy!

😂😂

Nah, it's a romantic week in Norwich.

See, there he is ordering Room Service to make her stay extra special -

@NeverDropYourMooncup Norwich is not far from where I am and it's actually a pretty nice place to visit. So I take issue with that suggestion.

@StuckInPollyannaMode the hurricane was Florida, not South Africa, but we got it all sorted. The original plane had a serious bird strike which took out an engine on the way in (no crash, which was very lucky!) and DD was eventually rerouted via Paris. Where they left her bag, which is now coming to me. Honestly, everything that could go wrong did go wrong.

But I picked her up from Heathrow yesterday, ran her to Plymouth, got her settled in and then did the drive home. Today I am vegging with the cats and that's all!

Oh cripes I am getting flashbacks of that scene with AP dancing in a thong.....

I defy you not to picture Geller taking apart a Corby Trouser Press whilst the next ex girlfriend wonders just how it's come to this already.

My loves.

From you I have been absent in the autumn <coughs>

yeah, ok, so whatevs, I have an update. And for the record, I quite like Norwich, although the Alan Partridge ref is bang on.

I heard today that the court have signed off on the financial order.

SHL is more than slightly stunned. All signs were that it would get knocked back.

BUT, I tells myself. Is opportunity to be FREE of his narcissistic and frankly weird tendencies. Plus, it’s cost me 20k to get here. Just embrace it as universe moving on. ETC ETC. yeah yeah. Still missing Westley. Whatever. Have booked weekend in Cornwall next weekend as spontaneous cool and hip thing to do. Want to be in my happy place.

THEN.

Go to take the Dollies tonight to an activity and meet up with old running buddy in the pub. First time I’ve seen her for aaaages. She is totally and firmly on my side - she organised The Great Gin Heist, if anyone remembers that.

Well, blow me down and cover me sideways. Buckle up. Ready for this?

So she had a drink with Geller last week. He spent most of it talking about his new girlfriend. Her of the rolling around the village green fame. But not in a ‘OMG I’m so in love with her way’. Apparently is v v casual and sometimes they see each other and sometimes they don’t. Also apparently…he’s still in love with me and wants me back. He’d have me back like a shot.

😱🤯😱🤯😱🤯

ahahahahahahahahhahahahaha. Is my final word on the matter. It’s just weeks away til I can tell him to fuck off. Plus, he’s hardly shown this. Double plus, EWWWWW.

Dearest Polly, you are absolutely right to take the money and run. This being over is worth more than anything.

As for Geller wanting you back I have only one thing to say: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha etc.

Oh my good god Polly. He's off his rocker, surely?!

I wonder, is this a not at all cunning plan for you to be overwhelmed by his charming personality and run back to his open arms, declaring that all this silly money stuff can be forgotten?

However did your friend keep a straight face?!

Well he lost the woman that did it all and how paid into the joint point, what was not to love???

O.M.G.
Noooo!
He has out-Gellered himself!!

Congrats on the financial order. Soon you can tell him to fuck off to the far side of fuck, and then fuck off some more. And a bit more.

Enjoy Cornwall, sounds just the ticket x

As my late MiL used to say "Shit in one hand (Geller) and want in the other and see which one gets filled first".

Although do you think he's panicking at the financial papers going through and, as a PP said, was just saying that to your friend with the thought that it'd get back to you and make you yearn, nay, BURN for him? If so, then he's stupider than I thought.

Obviously that message was meant to get back to you. He has absolutely no idea how much of a comedian he is, does he? Poor, deluded sap is going to be wondering wtf happened to him when he is sitting alone and unvisited in his nursing home.

What a very strange person he is..

He’d have me back like a shot.
Does he think that, if you go back, he gets to keep all his money? 🌹

He's got a very funny way of showing you he still loves you and wants you back...🤔🤦‍♀️

It’s entirely predictable. It was meant to get back to you ( he may mean it, easier to reel you back in than start again grooming someone new ). It’s about control, the divorce is so imminent , he’s about to lose more of it. But this shit. Bang! Back into your headspace where he wants to be. As I said the relationship dynamic won’t simply wither away, you need to change it and you. FP.

Surely this is more about painting himself as the hapless victim of Polly's ruthless, and mercenary, ways - curse her cold heart? Friend is meant to see Polly as the marriage wrecker and him as tragic hero. So actually Polly going back would ruin his narrative.

Could be summed up easily by saying “I don’t do adulting and I love my money. I would have it back in a heartbeat.”

It’s probably true he misses you and would have you back.

You're a catch! And were a good wife and mother and contributor to finances.

he probably would be delighted to have everything restored to his normal with you firmly back in your role.

when I got divorced ex tried that too, he went and threatened my family trying to get them to force me to stop divorce proceedings and go back to him… because that’s going to appeal to me!

I absolutely think he’s panicking and that he’s realising that I’m actually going through with this. Completely agree it’s about money and adulting. Interestingly a couple of friends have asked if I am tempted?! HELL NO.

He managed to really piss me off on Saturday morning about DD2, and rather than fuming about it and ranting to friends I dealt with it then and there and told him to stop being so bloody ridiculous, then just went about my day. So I’m getting better at handling him and not giving him headspace after too.

My beautiful freedom ring is inching ever closer to being worn, and the divorce Tattinger (yes, I’ve still got it!) must now be so cold it’s frozen. Can’t wait to open it! Although by the time I’ve shared it, everyone will only get a thimbleful 😁

I wonder how long before it dawns on him that you will be even more hard ball once it's gone through. That you can completely ignore his ridiculous pontificating over contact arrangement and just say NO an awful lot.

Polly it does sound like he is panicking.

He is in for such a shock when this is all over. He has lost control of you, and you and your Dollies are building amazing new lives.

As PP said upthread, he will end up in his lonely care home room wondering why he has no visitors. But he has brought this on himself.