Hi, I wanted to add a comment and it’s for everyone on this thread.
Many years ago I was a SAHM and my OH was the breadwinner and in the armed forces. Due to his job he could often be away up to three weeks at a time, so we agreed that I needed to be at home.
When my only DD was about 7, I remember that I was having a wobble about my lack of earning power. My oh sat me down and told me that raising our child was the most important thing to both of us, and in the long term this is what would matter.
Being in the forces isn’t just a job, but he said he still feels that it was secondary to me raising our child. By the way, we had completely joint finances.
This has stayed with me, throughout my life and has helped me enormously with my role in our family. I have wondered at times if this speech was a bit of “rallying of the troops”. (Which he’s very good at). But it was stated by him, and so became a core belief in our marriage.
He’s not perfect, and can be a dick at times, but in a way he was only stating a truth that many men (and women overlook)
OP I know your husband isn’t thinking this and in fact doing the opposite. I think your job puts you in most people lives as very very successful.
So perhaps, if you were to take this as your mantra - when he gives you his bullshit, cocoon yourself with the thought that you are in fact doing the more important job.
Perhaps in time, you can convince him of the same.