OLD grads thread 1

[BelladiMamma]

Thought I'd kick this off

Yeah yeah I know I said I wanted less screen time ...

Feel free to get chatting and sharing our tales of life on and off the apps

@Badbaddog 💗💗

@ButterflyOfShay oh definitely, I can't be doing with all that. Someone pointed out she might be jealous but what I'd give to have a husband to come home to.

@ButterflyOfShay I think sometimes getting things off your chest really helps. I know it did me with my abandonment and unable to express how I'm feeling issues. I know I've got them, and for me to tell Mr Cricket how I was feeling before Christmas was a big achievement. I also feel like 2022 is going to be different.

I think I'm too lazy for love...or too sad.
Hoping to find some strength to go back on an app... it's not appealing. Hopefully when the weather is brighter and evenings are longer it will make me want to dive into that dating pool!

Currently have a very casual FB. It's not what I want but it's nice to be close to someone sometimes...

As I get older I seem to care less about attracting a partner but I known if I met someone lovely I would feel much happier.

I hope we all meet someone special x

[quote Isitreallyme0077]@ButterflyOfShay oh definitely, I can't be doing with all that. Someone pointed out she might be jealous but what I'd give to have a husband to come home to.[/quote]
Ahh @Isitreallyme0077!! Then if that is what your heart desires you have to keep searching.. your potential husband is out there somewhere 🙂
I don’t want a husband… casual but not casual is what I’m after, if that makes sense 🧐

[quote Isitreallyme0077]@ButterflyOfShay I think sometimes getting things off your chest really helps. I know it did me with my abandonment and unable to express how I'm feeling issues. I know I've got them, and for me to tell Mr Cricket how I was feeling before Christmas was a big achievement. I also feel like 2022 is going to be different.[/quote]
Evee we n though not a lot has happened yet, I’m already feeling like 2022 is a great year 😆 with great potential!!

👋 Everyone,
Thanks @BelladiMamma for the thread.
I'm going to be on both threads although technically I've graduated but I don't feel like I have.
Navigating relationships is so tricky especially when your past hasn't been that great, I'll definitely be 'studying' forever.

@ButterflyOfShay don't apologise for sharing/getting advice. Mumsnet was somewhere I used to guffaw at till I actually needed it when I was in a relationship with my alcoholic ex. I found it a huge wealth of information/support when I wasn't ready to share my worries with friends. This thread is especially good.

@ButterflyOfShay a husband to come home to, who treats me right is one of my stupid dreams. Irony is that Mr Cricket and I want the same thing, he just couldn't see what was in front of him now I think it's too late.

As for 2022, Ibiza. I'm so looking forward to a week of sun, sea, beach, pool, lazy days, friends, cocktails. It's been a long time coming.

Checking in

@supercali77

Is this for dating thread folks whove found someone or decided not to do OLD? I am an ancient OLD thread person

I've figured it's a come as you are but maybe you don't have pressing OLD things to discuss 🤷🏻‍♀️

Or maybe you've met someone OLD and you're feeling like that relationship beginning means you'd still like OLD style advice or wisdom or a chance to share?

Anyway. It's a broad church I think 😀

@Badbaddog

Checking in. I’m seeing this as a thread for people who have been through OLD and come out the other side, partnered up or not!

On my agenda: how much do men value loyalty? My XH valued my loyalty to him over years of struggle not at all, in fact I don’t think he even saw it. Now I’m doubting my DF! He told me at the weekend, very cheerfully, that I didn’t need to come and visit him as he was perfectly fine not seeing me. Thanks dad. I go to see him because I like him, I like talking to him, I want to reassure myself his care needs are being met, I want to make the most of him while he’s still around. And I’m loyal to him. These things just don’t seem to appear on his radar. I think he enjoys my company but clearly he can take me or leave me.

Is it just a ridiculously old-fashioned notion?

Yes exactly - come through the other side!

FWIW I think this can be an old person thing. DF is thinking, oh I'm a bit cranky and old and don't really want to go see anyone but it's nice DD has turned up. Best make sure she doesn't feel obliged so I don't 'put her to any bother'.

[quote ButterflyOfShay]@Badbaddog I don’t think men are that bothered. As soon as my DF met his wife I was ‘dumped’! I don’t mean that to sound as harsh as it does.. but it’s true 😂[/quote]
This is exactly what my ex is doing to my DD and it's breaking her heart. She took the decision not to see them for a while which is great, but she's so young to have to deal with this sh1t. I saw some of the WhatsApp messages my ex had been sending her and I was shocked, even by his standards he was being so mean. Saying sh1t like 'you have to apologise to gf for leaving the house too noisily this morning.'

As I said to her earlier - 'fuck that sh1t'.

@Isitreallyme0077

I've just found an acoustic version of Aha's Take on Me and wow it's so powerful.

Bollocks I want to send it to Mr Cricket as at the start one of his messages to me was how he was singing The Sun Always Shines on TV in the gym.

Post it here, I'd love to hear it 💖

It’s beyond disappointing when people allow themselves to be influenced by having new partners, even to the extent of being mean to their own DC. I’m so sorry. It really leads one to think that for some people the maternal/paternal bond is either weak or totally taken for granted. This may seem like a statement of the bleeding obvious but it’s something I just can’t get my head around!

(And thanks @BelladiMamma, I’ve forced myself to come to that conclusion; DF is doing the ‘I’m not going to be a burden/bother’ thing. I guess on balance it’s better than the over-demanding thing. I shall stick to my course nonetheless. He’s not getting away from me that easily!)

@BelladiMamma here you go. It's amazing and sad
m.youtube.com/watch?v=UB11caUeHQY

Thanks @Eesha and @BelladiMamma 💗 don’t want to keep banging on about it anymore it’s more I’ve established now that I’m deeply affected by all that bollocks and I want to do something about it and leave it behind. Am on the right road now.
On a brighter note had both bloody gorgeous tree surgeon and the sexy roofers round today. If only there was more fun stuff happening than their actual jobs 😂😂 brightened my day just gazing at them though!! 😍😍 they're so nice as well.

Your DD is so lucky to have you @BelladiMamma 💕💕

@ButterflyOfShay I saw the guy from the gym this morning, it's definitely the one from a few years ago. Sadly I was in the middle of being tortured leg day so couldn't do anything other than look. I won't see him next week as the gym is shut for a couple of days. But it's the same time every Tuesday.

[quote Isitreallyme0077]@BelladiMamma here you go. It's amazing and sad
m.youtube.com/watch?v=UB11caUeHQY[/quote]
So that's the original band performing it? Lovely. Really gorgeous 💖

@ButterflyOfShay

Thanks *@Eesha and @BelladiMamma* 💗 don’t want to keep banging on about it anymore it’s more I’ve established now that I’m deeply affected by all that bollocks and I want to do something about it and leave it behind. Am on the right road now. On a brighter note had both bloody gorgeous tree surgeon and the sexy roofers round today. If only there was more fun stuff happening than their actual jobs 😂😂 brightened my day just gazing at them though!! 😍😍 they're so nice as well.

Wahoo always nice to have some eye candy 🍭. I do love a tree surgeon especially, they're so 'down with nature' and can do cool stuff like name all the trees if you're ever out on a walk with them

@ButterflyOfShay

Your DD is so lucky to have you *@BelladiMamma* 💕💕

I have to admit, it's heavy sometimes. Especially when it makes me so angry and I have to be all >breathe< so how do you feel about that and what would you like to do about it darling >cos I'm about to turn into a fire 🔥 breathing dragon 🐉

Yep @BelladiMamma that's Morton Harket. I cried when I heard it yesterday. I love the song anyway but that version is just wow.

[quote Isitreallyme0077]@ButterflyOfShay I saw the guy from the gym this morning, it's definitely the one from a few years ago. Sadly I was in the middle of being tortured leg day so couldn't do anything other than look. I won't see him next week as the gym is shut for a couple of days. But it's the same time every Tuesday.[/quote]
Ooh didn't you say you have his contact details on facebook or something? So you could drop him a line v casually next week saying about how you're really missing the gym and can't wait for it to open again and how's his week going...? Just an opportunity to strike up conversation and see where it goes?

@Isitreallyme0077

Yep *@BelladiMamma* that's Morton Harket. I cried when I heard it yesterday. I love the song anyway but that version is just wow.

Wow yes this song / version is absolutely gorgeous!