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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

45 year old DH liking 24 year old girl Instagram pictures

176 replies

Anonkatemummyof2 · 21/02/2022 04:08

The title says it all really, me and DH don’t really use Instagram a lot ‘well that’s what I thought’ I was scrolling through his followings last night when I came across a pretty young girl, so out of curiosity I had a look at her profile and pretty much all of her pictures DH has liked them? I thought it was just a random following at first until I found out this girl works at DH workplace ‘A work ID badge around her neck” gave it away, I looked at her followings and she is following DH and has also liked a few of his pictures. Should I be concerned or am I overacting? Him being 45 and liking a 24 year olds picture has made me feel a little bit sick. I can’t do any further digging as I don’t have access to any of his socials. I should add that most of her pictures are quite revealing. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? I know it’s ridiculous but I’m writing this at 4:05 as I can’t sleep, it’s been on my mind ever sinceConfused

OP posts:
user1481840227 · 21/02/2022 20:27

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Saysama · 21/02/2022 20:37

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collieresponder88 · 21/02/2022 21:30

I'd find it really embarrassing and sad tbh. He obviously fancies this young girl he needs to grow up and get off Instagram for god sake

Nomorepastry · 21/02/2022 21:49

My 33 Yr old partner likes pictures of a 17 Yr old girl on there. Yet I'm blocked on his account. I've been told it's normal and not to worry, but it does my head in sometimes..

BOOTS52 · 21/02/2022 21:53

At Nomorepastry that is not right as she is only 17. I would be furious and would not be happy to be with a man looking at a girl so young. He has blocked you so he is hiding things. Could not live like that. How are things in the rest of your relationship or does this make it difficult. Worse when they try to say oh you are insecure, it is not insecurity but their creepy and pervy ways that shows a lack of respect for their partners.

EarthSight · 21/02/2022 21:58

I'm so sorry OP. This is just beyond disrespectful and I would say he's hoping she will return his advances. All those likes are a 'Hey I'm here! Really like your hot, pretty pictures!'. There's a reason why he's doing that - he's fishing, trying his luck.

I'd like to think for your sake that he's just doing this for kicks and an ego boost (which is bad enough)....but given that he's shown such an interest in a woman in his own workplace, would he really turn the chance to sleep with a hot young woman? :/ He's a pig.

EarthSight · 21/02/2022 21:59

@Nomorepastry

My 33 Yr old partner likes pictures of a 17 Yr old girl on there. Yet I'm blocked on his account. I've been told it's normal and not to worry, but it does my head in sometimes..
@Nomorepastry How can you stand him???? Disgusting. What a low bloody bar you have. I feel bad for you.
Nomorepastry · 21/02/2022 22:04

I'm only 23 myself, met when I was 17 and he was 28. Brought up in a bad situation where my mum took home a different man each week, most were physically abusive. I Iike to think the reasoning for having no self respect is influenced by that Sad

BOOTS52 · 21/02/2022 22:05

Why are some on here saying it is ok for him to like that young woman's photos, nearly everyone of them, he is making himself look like an ass and a fool. She is either enjoying the attention or else she is putting up with it and also thinks it is creepy.

Overtired201984 · 21/02/2022 22:05

I wouldn’t be impressed at all , especially tht he works with her .
I hope the chat went ok Flowers

DukeofEarlGrey · 21/02/2022 22:07

I wouldn't be happy with my DP doing this but more importantly, it's not a good idea as an older male colleague.

EarthSight · 21/02/2022 22:13

@Nomorepastry

I'm only 23 myself, met when I was 17 and he was 28. Brought up in a bad situation where my mum took home a different man each week, most were physically abusive. I Iike to think the reasoning for having no self respect is influenced by that Sad
@Nomorepastry Dear oh dear. He's grim. There's massive alarm bells all over that. The reason why men go for women so young is not accidental - it's what a lot of them can get away with, and if they could, they would choose someone even younger. I wouldn't trust men like that around children.

Set yourself free. Going for someone a lot older like that sounds like a good idea to get stability and safety, but they often enjoy the imbalance of power and that doesn't lead down a good road. It's clear that at the age of 23, you are already over the hill for his ideal age. He likes them young and juicy :( What a loser.

EarthSight · 21/02/2022 22:14

Also @Nomorepastry, who told you it's normal? Him? Your friends? They talking shit.

Thenamegame0 · 21/02/2022 22:19

Bit creepy, wouldn't like this at all

BOOTS52 · 21/02/2022 22:20

Aw Noremorepastry just saw your reply. I really hope you are ok but you are soo young and he is using your vulnerability to control you. Does he treat you well in other ways. Please try to talk to somebody without him knowing if there are other issues and try to get some supports in your life as you are so young and have your whole life ahead of you. If he is controlling please get some support. Sorry you had such a difficult time and this man probably offered security. If you need advise please ask on here as learned so much about boundaries and gaslighting and narcisstic controlling behaviour. I am too trusting and am staying single as alot older than you but just have not got the energy to deal with a man. Please look after yourself.

Anonkatemummyof2 · 21/02/2022 22:43

I did end up addressing the situation and he was very defensive and blunt with the whole situation. He basically just laughed in my face and told me to stop being so ridiculous, he has definitely made me look like the crazy oneHmm

OP posts:
Tamworth123 · 21/02/2022 22:47

He hasn't made you look like the crazy one.

He's just brazened it out.

SandyY2K · 21/02/2022 23:32

he was very defensive and blunt with the whole situation. He basically just laughed in my face and told me to stop being so ridiculous

He knows he's wrong and he's trying to put it on you, like you're overeacting.

MsDogLady · 22/02/2022 00:22

Blunt and defensive? Laughing?

OP, that was classic manipulation/blame shifting. I dare say he was internally shaken that you’ve busted his pathetic drooling over his crush. In laughing at you, he wanted you to feel foolish so you’d back off.

He certainly showed no empathy for your feelings.

In your shoes, I wouldn’t back off. I would inform him that, as he feels entitled to cross my boundaries and disrespect me, I would be reevaluating the relationship.

UnevenBooks · 22/02/2022 00:29

Laugh at him and call him a sad little man. Walk away smirking but shaking your head in disappointment.

Migrainesbythedozen · 22/02/2022 00:46

@Anonkatemummyof2

I did end up addressing the situation and he was very defensive and blunt with the whole situation. He basically just laughed in my face and told me to stop being so ridiculous, he has definitely made me look like the crazy oneHmm
So he laughed at the concerns and wishes of his wife. What a charming man. I would be even more furious with him now and would not want to be intimate with him until he changed his attitude!
Ladybugzrock · 22/02/2022 05:38

Blameshifting nonsense.

He’s been caught and he knows you’re right.

He doesn’t like your boundaries.

RantyAunty · 22/02/2022 06:46

What a creep and his response is typical of a guy being caught out.
Far too many middle aged men see themselves as legends in their own minds when they really look ridiculous and embarrassing when fawning over very young women.

You didn't mention how your marriage is besides him doing this.

ilovesooty · 22/02/2022 10:33

@theDudesmummy

Why is he on Instagram? Unless it is in some way required for work, it seems odd for someone his age.
Are you serious?
Shiteshow100 · 22/02/2022 11:49

Wanking material. He's liking these pics of a young girl as most older men fantasise about younger women.
I personally love older men so that age difference wouldn't be an issue.
I'd have a convo with him regarding this if it's making you uneasy.

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