Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

45 year old DH liking 24 year old girl Instagram pictures

176 replies

Anonkatemummyof2 · 21/02/2022 04:08

The title says it all really, me and DH don’t really use Instagram a lot ‘well that’s what I thought’ I was scrolling through his followings last night when I came across a pretty young girl, so out of curiosity I had a look at her profile and pretty much all of her pictures DH has liked them? I thought it was just a random following at first until I found out this girl works at DH workplace ‘A work ID badge around her neck” gave it away, I looked at her followings and she is following DH and has also liked a few of his pictures. Should I be concerned or am I overacting? Him being 45 and liking a 24 year olds picture has made me feel a little bit sick. I can’t do any further digging as I don’t have access to any of his socials. I should add that most of her pictures are quite revealing. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? I know it’s ridiculous but I’m writing this at 4:05 as I can’t sleep, it’s been on my mind ever sinceConfused

OP posts:
Bagelsandbrie · 21/02/2022 07:31

I wouldn’t like that at all.

AnyFucker · 21/02/2022 07:34

Some young females seem to like split up marriages, so you’re right to be concerned

What the fuck ?

MrsTimRiggins · 21/02/2022 07:40

It’s not necessarily altogether untoward. I used to work with all men and some of them would like some of my insta posts here and there, some would like nearly all of them. There was nothing dodgy going on, they were/are my friends, I’ve a few coming to my sons christening in April and I haven’t worked with them for 3 years now. I was 21-25 and they were 40+.
That being said, if you’d noticed anything else that raised your suspicions then I wouldn’t ignore that.
I would find this so tricky to navigate as I too would feel a little suspicious but know first hand it isn’t always dodgy. Sorry you’ve found yourself so worried and upset.

sjxoxo · 21/02/2022 07:53

I agree your husband is embarrassing himself… I think that’s fine to follow colleagues of whatever age; and if for example she’s posting pics of her in revealing outfits or in bikini on beach, it’s not appropriate for your DH to like those photos.. it’s creepy and crosses a line.
He could like a pic of her dog and that would be ok by me.

She definitely thinks he fancies her and definitely thinks he’s a creep.

Why do you think he is liking her photos.. is he really really ‘out of touch’ with what’s socially acceptable on social media, or is he being a perv?? Does he realise everyone else can see he’s liked her photos? No offence but I think some middle aged people don’t understand how some social media works or what is considered socially acceptable. Even my mum doesn’t for example and shares damaging articles and scams, comments on everything under the sun and generally annoys us with the way she uses social media. She thinks it’s just interacting!!

Either way I think it’s not good is it.
He’s either 1) being a creep with malice ie hitting on her or already has (unlikely I think with age difference), or 2) he’s being a creep and doesn’t know everyone can see, or worse doesn’t care, or 3) he’s incredibly naive and thinks it’s some sort of politeness to like everything on social media. I suspect 1 or 2. You need to talk to him although if he’s doing this with other women online he might just hide it. I’d do some snooping first. Xo

hoadinthetole · 21/02/2022 08:05

Yep agree with other comments very sleazy and creepy. I'd be having a very serious word with him about the future of your marriage if he's out there creeping about being a social media perv.

It does not matter one bit if she's interested in him or not, it seems like he's trying very hard to let her know he's interested in her. Grim.

Keystone76 · 21/02/2022 08:10

I’d be more concerned if he was messaging her. Don’t people just hit the like button out of habit more than anything or is he only liking her pics and no one else’s?

Bagelsandbrie · 21/02/2022 08:12

I’m not sure why people seem to think he’s embarrassing himself Hmm Lots of younger women find older men attractive, she could even be putting selfies up with the hope that he likes them, especially if she’s liking his photos too. That’s how flirting starts. She may not be sitting there thinking “ewww creepy” at all.

SouperNoodle · 21/02/2022 08:13

He's either a bit of a perv or he has feelings for this woman.
Either way it's massive inappropriate and disrespectful

Migrainesbythedozen · 21/02/2022 08:13

@Bagelsandbrie

I’m not sure why people seem to think he’s embarrassing himself Hmm Lots of younger women find older men attractive, she could even be putting selfies up with the hope that he likes them, especially if she’s liking his photos too. That’s how flirting starts. She may not be sitting there thinking “ewww creepy” at all.
Exactly! She's playing to it.
theDudesmummy · 21/02/2022 08:18

Why is he on Instagram? Unless it is in some way required for work, it seems odd for someone his age.

MrsTimRiggins · 21/02/2022 08:19

Come on now, ‘She’s playing to it’ is a hell of stretch, it’s highly unlikely she’s posting these selfies purely for the untoward attention of OPs husband! It is possible, of course, but really…

RachHen · 21/02/2022 08:20

He’s at it. Or planning to be.

RachHen · 21/02/2022 08:20

@theDudesmummy

Why is he on Instagram? Unless it is in some way required for work, it seems odd for someone his age.
Ageist? Much?
Bagelsandbrie · 21/02/2022 08:21

@theDudesmummy

Why is he on Instagram? Unless it is in some way required for work, it seems odd for someone his age.
How ageist.

Dh and I are on Instagram. Both middle aged. We use it to follow things we are interested in. Social media isn’t just about half naked selfies!

SnowFlo · 21/02/2022 08:25

Why were you looking at who he was following? Has something made you worry?

Irrelevant. She was right to check, because he is doing something that implies he is sexually attracted to this girl.

SnowFlo · 21/02/2022 08:27

I’m not sure why people seem to think he’s embarrassing himself

Acting sleazy online when you have a wife or girlfriend is embarrassing. It makes you look like a sad old man who can't even be loyal, looking elsewhere.

BitterPeach · 21/02/2022 08:27

I wouldn’t think it was an issue if he’d liked the odd photo, but if it’s nearly every photo I do think that’s weird and would be asking him about it.

GreggsDoVitalWork · 21/02/2022 08:28

@theDudesmummy

Why is he on Instagram? Unless it is in some way required for work, it seems odd for someone his age.
Not at all. He's 45, not 85.
Saysama · 21/02/2022 08:29

These comments are a bit odd.

He’s liked a few photos on social media. That’s very standard behaviour. Calm down. It doesn’t mean anyone’s marriage is being ruined. Even if he thinks she’s pretty, why is that such a problem? This need to police your partners’ thoughts to the nth degree is so strange.

Living life on the knife edge of hysteria and paranoia must be so exhausting. You can always just stop, you know?

illyawasthebest · 21/02/2022 08:31

@SnowFlo

Why were you looking at who he was following? Has something made you worry?

Irrelevant. She was right to check, because he is doing something that implies he is sexually attracted to this girl.

Of course it matters!

If my husband started randomly checking my social media and policing me, we'd be having quite the discussion.

I don't see how trusting loving partners start snooping on each other so there must have been a reason.

Migrainesbythedozen · 21/02/2022 08:35

@Saysama

These comments are a bit odd.

He’s liked a few photos on social media. That’s very standard behaviour. Calm down. It doesn’t mean anyone’s marriage is being ruined. Even if he thinks she’s pretty, why is that such a problem? This need to police your partners’ thoughts to the nth degree is so strange.

Living life on the knife edge of hysteria and paranoia must be so exhausting. You can always just stop, you know?

Oh wake up and smell the coffee. Her husband has liked most of her revealing pics. Would he like a 24 year old male's pics? How can you be so naive, to the extent you are turning it around on the wife who knows something is wrong?
RachHen · 21/02/2022 08:37

Kind of disagree with @Saysama these are classic behaviours of midlife infidelity. If you’re liking thirsty type of pictures you’re commenting that you like what’s being portrayed. If it’s a happy pic of someone at a wedding or party that’s different.

RachHen · 21/02/2022 08:38

Also can folk cut the ageism. He’s not a sad OLD Man. She’s not a girl. She’s a woman.

Saysama · 21/02/2022 08:38

@Migrainesbythedozen The knife edge of hysteria and paranoia rears its head again.

I repeat ‘even if he thinks she’s pretty, why is that a problem’?

ComDummings · 21/02/2022 08:41

@RachHen

He’s at it. Or planning to be.
This ^
Swipe left for the next trending thread