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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

45 year old DH liking 24 year old girl Instagram pictures

176 replies

Anonkatemummyof2 · 21/02/2022 04:08

The title says it all really, me and DH don’t really use Instagram a lot ‘well that’s what I thought’ I was scrolling through his followings last night when I came across a pretty young girl, so out of curiosity I had a look at her profile and pretty much all of her pictures DH has liked them? I thought it was just a random following at first until I found out this girl works at DH workplace ‘A work ID badge around her neck” gave it away, I looked at her followings and she is following DH and has also liked a few of his pictures. Should I be concerned or am I overacting? Him being 45 and liking a 24 year olds picture has made me feel a little bit sick. I can’t do any further digging as I don’t have access to any of his socials. I should add that most of her pictures are quite revealing. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? I know it’s ridiculous but I’m writing this at 4:05 as I can’t sleep, it’s been on my mind ever sinceConfused

OP posts:
Pinkrose1111 · 21/02/2022 11:10

Oh helll noooo, I would not like this at all. I'd defo keep an eye on things and be on high alert. Sorry you have to go through this Xx

Stravaig · 21/02/2022 11:13

@Tamworth123 I didn't say she had. First paragraph: the OP's specific example. Second paragraph: responding to the wider discussion. The break between is important for accurate comprehension.

2DogsOnMySofa · 21/02/2022 11:16

I think it's grim for a man of his age to be liking photos of a 24 year old.

LondonQueen · 21/02/2022 11:18

Depends what the photos are, if it's just her going about her day to day life not so bad, if it's her in revealing outfits etc I wouldn't be impressed.

rocksonrocks · 21/02/2022 11:19

Definitely inappropriate and weird but there’s plenty of “cool girls” who would suggest otherwise.

A bit gross really.

Tamworth123 · 21/02/2022 11:20

[quote Stravaig]@Tamworth123 I didn't say she had. First paragraph: the OP's specific example. Second paragraph: responding to the wider discussion. The break between is important for accurate comprehension.[/quote]
So you moved onto a general critique of young women ..... nonetheless it a bit seems disingenuous and blamey (of the young women).

Not touching on any of the reasons it happens

BoodleBug51 · 21/02/2022 11:20

DH started following public profiles of young models/plus size influencers...... only he's such a dinosaur with technology that he didn't realise that it was public activity and people were getting notifications. When a friend sent me a message basically asking if he was having hormone issues and a winky face, I realised quite how prolific his activity was. Bearing in mind he's well into his 50s and was liking girls younger than our DDs.

Let's just say he came off all SM for a very long time........ he's now back on some FB hobby groups etc, but he knows that the 1st click on something inappropriate means the end this time. He can embarrass himself all he likes but he's not embarrassing me and our DC.

Tamworth123 · 21/02/2022 11:21

I'm this case, no mattercwhat the reasons/rationale/dysfunction of our society behind the young woman's revealing SM puts.... op's husband neither needs to be a follower/friend, nor be liking them. That was entirely his (inappropriate) choice.

Chestofdraws · 21/02/2022 11:22

How revealing are we talking op. Genuinely?

FrugralMcDougal · 21/02/2022 11:23

@wingscrow

Depends: does he follow all his colleagues on social media, male and female of all ages? if yes then it might just be that they are a close team and do this as a friendly gesture.

As a manager I have had male students interns and some still follow me on social media (their choice). Nothing inappropriate going on on my part. But again my feed or theirs does not include any 'revealing' pics...

If his attention is only given to that particular colleague, or if he comments on/likes a lot of pictures from random young women, then it is not appropriate and rather creepy.

This was my thought too. If he has singled her out then it is questionable.
Queenkarm · 21/02/2022 11:25

cs98 good point, op is your dh the young ladies manager

Bunnyfuller · 21/02/2022 11:25

No, completely inappropriate. What the hell is a grown man liking revealing pics of a 24 for? Answer is obvious! And then taking account that he works with her, nope, there will be consequences from that (if there aren’t already).

Anonkatemummyof2 · 21/02/2022 11:25

Thank you for all the replies ladies. I don’t think I came across very clear when I said ‘revealing pictures’ to me they are revealing or maybe I’m just prudish? A lot of the outfits are going out outfits but they’re close to nothing and when I say that I mean she might as well go out in her underwear. DH is at work at the moment and I’m going to question him when he gets home, I’ll let you know how that goes.

OP posts:
Stravaig · 21/02/2022 11:31

@Tamworth123 No, I moved onto to expressing my feeling about a very specific behaviour of some young women, and where it fits into ongoing societal changes.

Saysama · 21/02/2022 11:34

@Anonkatemummyof2

Thank you for all the replies ladies. I don’t think I came across very clear when I said ‘revealing pictures’ to me they are revealing or maybe I’m just prudish? A lot of the outfits are going out outfits but they’re close to nothing and when I say that I mean she might as well go out in her underwear. DH is at work at the moment and I’m going to question him when he gets home, I’ll let you know how that goes.
So, what you’re terming as ‘revealing’ is normal (to a lot of people) clothing that she’s going out in, not lingerie shoots in her boudoir? She’s just dressed like your standard 24 year old and you’re using bizarrely shaming language about it?

That’s pretty much what I thought.

Anonkatemummyof2 · 21/02/2022 11:35

These are on her main wall, her stories do contain bra shots but I obviously can’t see if he’s liked them or even viewed them!

OP posts:
Wednesdayat · 21/02/2022 11:37

You are not being unreasonable @Anonkatemummyof2

What on earth is he playing at? Does he think he's 21 again? Tell him to have a bit of decorum. You are his wife. If he wants to splatter 'likes' all over the internet (!) then tell him you and he must divorce first.

5128gap · 21/02/2022 11:39

Is your H extra ordinarily good-looking, rich, powerful, influential? If not I'd agree with your friend that its highly unlikely she sees him as anything more than another middle aged lech, and is not intending to run away with him. In your shoes my issue would be that I'd also now be seeing him as just another middle aged lech, and would want to run away from him.

Jvg33 · 21/02/2022 11:47

Meh. Why didn't you ask your DH about it? I think you need to have some confirm about yourself. You are a great person. If your DH leaves you for a younger woman that's his loss, not yours.

Jvg33 · 21/02/2022 11:47

*confidence

Saysama · 21/02/2022 11:49

If your DH leaves you for a younger woman that's his loss, not yours.

All this because he liked some Insta photos. Mumsnet is nuts.

user1471504747 · 21/02/2022 11:53

I would look how much he likes other users posts. Some people just like everything on their feed. There’s a guy like this at work and no one thinks anything of it (he’s married to another woman in the office too)

CaMePlaitPas · 21/02/2022 11:54

Ask him what he's doing and tell him he's making a fool out of himself.

user1471504747 · 21/02/2022 11:55

Also honestly OP some of the posters here are very dramatic. We’ve jumped from him liking some Instagram photos to he’s an old perv and this 24 year old is posting sexy stuff just for him as he’s planning on leaving you Confused

BBOA · 21/02/2022 11:59

Agree with others that it’s creepy. Why is he following a 24 year old anyway? I avoid colleagues Socials like the plague. Going to be a bit tricky explaining how you know though. Maybe say you were looking for some nice photos of him…and then apologise as you were being nosey…… but then you noticed his likes etc. Hopefully he will say he’s stupid and didn’t realise what a sleezebag he’s been.

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