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Original poster

45 year old DH liking 24 year old girl Instagram pictures

176 replies

Anonkatemummyof2 · 21/02/2022 04:08

The title says it all really, me and DH don’t really use Instagram a lot ‘well that’s what I thought’ I was scrolling through his followings last night when I came across a pretty young girl, so out of curiosity I had a look at her profile and pretty much all of her pictures DH has liked them? I thought it was just a random following at first until I found out this girl works at DH workplace ‘A work ID badge around her neck” gave it away, I looked at her followings and she is following DH and has also liked a few of his pictures. Should I be concerned or am I overacting? Him being 45 and liking a 24 year olds picture has made me feel a little bit sick. I can’t do any further digging as I don’t have access to any of his socials. I should add that most of her pictures are quite revealing. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? I know it’s ridiculous but I’m writing this at 4:05 as I can’t sleep, it’s been on my mind ever sinceConfused

OP posts:
THisbackwithavengeance · 21/02/2022 08:41

If my DH started liking photos of young women on Instagram, I would seriously think he had lost his mind.

It's inappropriate, embarrassing and creepy and he needs to get a grip.

I would speak to him and tell him you're not happy and he needs to stop the nonsense before you lose your trust and respect for him.

To me, it signifies either the beginning of a flirtation leading to an affair (worse case scenario) or he is making a fool of himself at work.

Saysama · 21/02/2022 08:42

@RachHen

Kind of disagree with *@Saysama* these are classic behaviours of midlife infidelity. If you’re liking thirsty type of pictures you’re commenting that you like what’s being portrayed. If it’s a happy pic of someone at a wedding or party that’s different.
It’s also standard behaviour of anyone on social media. People like pictures. Sometimes pictures of attractive members of their genders of choice. It doesn’t mean they are cheating or in crisis.

If she’s wearing a lanyard in them, it’s unlikely she’s in lingerie. The thirst trap element is what everyone’s run with, but until OP clarifies what she considers ‘quite revealing’, that’s not the conclusion to which I’m jumping.

illyawasthebest · 21/02/2022 08:43

It's mumsnet @Saysama, so obviously it's fine to stalk your partner and check everything they're doing online for no reason at all. And also, every man is definitely cheating or is frantic to do so.

wingscrow · 21/02/2022 08:45

Depends: does he follow all his colleagues on social media, male and female of all ages? if yes then it might just be that they are a close team and do this as a friendly gesture.

As a manager I have had male students interns and some still follow me on social media (their choice). Nothing inappropriate going on on my part. But again my feed or theirs does not include any 'revealing' pics...

If his attention is only given to that particular colleague, or if he comments on/likes a lot of pictures from random young women, then it is not appropriate and rather creepy.

Saysama · 21/02/2022 08:45

@illyawasthebest

It's mumsnet *@Saysama*, so obviously it's fine to stalk your partner and check everything they're doing online for no reason at all. And also, every man is definitely cheating or is frantic to do so.
It’s pretty terrifying, isn’t it?
Stravaig · 21/02/2022 08:46

Sounds like everyone else has the DH side of things covered. Just to add that his young colleague shouldn't be posting anything revealing on a work-related account, or anything that identifies her workplace on a personal account (name badge etc).

I'm astonished that so many young women think they can or should post what is essentially soft porn to an unrestricted viewership, yet feign surprise or disgust when their images have the predictable effect. Not sure we've progressed all that much as a society - the current pornification of social media feels like a weird pendulum swing on the path.

RockstarDotCom · 21/02/2022 08:52

It’s creepy, pervy and inappropriate because he’s married, he works with her and he’s so much older. It would make me sick to look at him so the relationship would be over.

MrsTimRiggins · 21/02/2022 08:52

While I don’t disagree with the sentiment, in this case, ‘a bit revealing’ hasn’t been clarified. It could just mean a low cut dress on a night out.

Stravaig · 21/02/2022 08:57

@MrsTimRiggins Very true! I was assuming fewer clothes and more obviously posed.

RachHen · 21/02/2022 09:13

Yes. Only the OP can tell if they’re online dating kind of pics that people seem to use

Once She’s sussed if they’re sexy ..

countdowntonap · 21/02/2022 09:14

I like the posts/pictures of both male and female colleagues 20 years older and 10 years younger than me. They’re usually holiday pictures, or nice days out that they’re sharing. I think the contents of the post/image is important here.

countdowntonap · 21/02/2022 09:19

^To add to the above, recent colleague photos I’ve liked:

A male colleague 10 years older shared a photo of his son winning an important football game. He’d spoke lm about the game earlier in the week.

A male colleague approx 20 years older gained a new qualification in dog training.

Female colleague 7 years older shared a photo of a holiday they were on.

Male colleague 20 years older shared a piece of art his daughter was selling. It was stunning so I liked that too!

None of these are inappropriate or suggest I’m interested in the person I’m following.

Sonaftersonafterson · 21/02/2022 09:54

Oh christ. No.

Its inappropriate for so many reasons and a bit cringe given the age gap. He looks like a dirty old man, and I'm your DHs age so not being ageist here!

Its upset you because you know it's out of line. Ask him why he thinks it's ok to do this. It says a lot about him.

Sonaftersonafterson · 21/02/2022 09:55

Also all those spouting about the posts they've liked. Come on!!! Can we be real here ?

He is liking her photos because she is young and as OP said, most of the pics are revealing.

Its OBVIOUSLY not ok.

fenellastripe · 21/02/2022 09:59

Surely he can 'like' all he wants in his own head but making a public declaration of it (by 'liking' the pics) is humiliating for you, OP, and is disrespectful of your marriage.

Tamworth123 · 21/02/2022 10:02

Some young females seem to like split up marriages

Lmao.

Marriages don't split up because of young females, they sort up because of the men's behaviour to young females.

No marriage I'd splitting up without the gusbabd acting inappropriately or cheating; he had free will, he has judgement, he had priorities, he had a brain.

Takes too to tango.

Oh and in my experience the older men were flirting with, paying attention to etc me ....
Not the other way around.

Tamworth123 · 21/02/2022 10:04

*husband

stormstormgoaway · 21/02/2022 10:05

It's a bit creepy. This is how he spends his time. I wouldn't like that.

Tamworth123 · 21/02/2022 10:07

I'm astonished that so many young women think they can or should post what is essentially soft porn to an unrestricted viewership, yet feign surprise or disgust when their images have the predictable effect.

Bit this young woman hasn't expressed surprise or disgust (real or feigned) at ops h liking her pics. Ee know nothing of her feelings.

And op had to go looking quite thoroughly by the sound of it to see a work lanyard in a photo.

LyraLaVey · 21/02/2022 10:07

That's just creepy 🤮

Tamworth123 · 21/02/2022 10:11

On the main topic, he doesn't need to like revealing etc photos of a young female work colleague. He should be staying well clear.

Both in the context of being an attached man and in the context of being a work colleague.

He's gotten carried away with his eyes (dick) by the sounds of it.

I'd love to know what his view eould be if you'd been doing the equivalent (without him doing it) .... friends with a young, gym bunny, fitness model type male colleague who's posting pics of him shirtless, in tighty whities etc, and you liking them.

Tamworth123 · 21/02/2022 10:14

Oh and it may not be the case here, but sometimes this type of behaviour is a toe in the water/test/opportunity to establish a relationship (if liking photos abd stories results in a message back from the young woman or in more personal conversation in person etc.) Sometimes ppl doing this are casting a lure to see if there's a bite from the other.

Chocaholic9 · 21/02/2022 10:16

@Stravaig

Sounds like everyone else has the DH side of things covered. Just to add that his young colleague shouldn't be posting anything revealing on a work-related account, or anything that identifies her workplace on a personal account (name badge etc).

I'm astonished that so many young women think they can or should post what is essentially soft porn to an unrestricted viewership, yet feign surprise or disgust when their images have the predictable effect. Not sure we've progressed all that much as a society - the current pornification of social media feels like a weird pendulum swing on the path.

I totally agree.
GotToPickAPocketorTwo · 21/02/2022 10:17

Could he be any creepier?

DTW33 · 21/02/2022 10:37

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