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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband Facebook

132 replies

mylifesucks1 · 17/02/2022 00:21

So I can't even explain how I got on it, but one of the female managers at my husbands work on one of her pics on her Facebook below was a comment from my husband saying incredibly stunning.
Now to me this is out of order. Who else agrees or would be upset by this ?

OP posts:
willithappen · 17/02/2022 00:25

I'd be furious

mylifesucks1 · 17/02/2022 00:28

@willithappen

I'd be furious
Oh good, he's turned round and said that there is nothing wrong with his comment and she is in a relationship .
OP posts:
willithappen · 17/02/2022 00:30

I don't think her being in a relationship has any bearing. He's turning it round on you cleverly.
I find it disrespectful. If it upsets you also then he should be listening to your concerns and understanding of them

pheonixrebirth · 17/02/2022 00:31

I would say he was incredibly stupid, offensive and way, way over line of what is appropriate behaviour with a colleague.

Palmfrond · 17/02/2022 00:33

Is he the type who says this sort of thing normally?

mylifesucks1 · 17/02/2022 00:34

@willithappen

I don't think her being in a relationship has any bearing. He's turning it round on you cleverly. I find it disrespectful. If it upsets you also then he should be listening to your concerns and understanding of them
That's the thing I don't think he has EVER called me stunning, I just feeling like embarrassing him and replying to his comment on her pic . Is that too much ? Might make me seem extra.
OP posts:
mylifesucks1 · 17/02/2022 00:34

@Palmfrond

Is he the type who says this sort of thing normally?
Not to me !
OP posts:
RobertSmithsLipstick · 17/02/2022 00:36

I wonder if the person she's in a relationship with is happy about his comment?
I wouldn't be.

mylifesucks1 · 17/02/2022 00:36

@pheonixrebirth

I would say he was incredibly stupid, offensive and way, way over line of what is appropriate behaviour with a colleague.
Yeah it's putting thoughts into my head now, because she is the manager on the "overtime" shift , which he works weekly overtime, i used to work there too I had done overtime only once and I swear she knows he has a wife.
OP posts:
mylifesucks1 · 17/02/2022 00:37

@RobertSmithsLipstick

I wonder if the person she's in a relationship with is happy about his comment? I wouldn't be.
Tbh I thinks he's lying because there is nothing on her page about her being in a relationship .
OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 17/02/2022 00:39

That comment is totally inappropriate. FFS. Don't allow him to gaslight you into thinking you are the problem.

RobertSmithsLipstick · 17/02/2022 00:42

Ah, so you think he being "in a reationship" might be a red herring?

mylifesucks1 · 17/02/2022 00:42

@Aquamarine1029

That comment is totally inappropriate. FFS. Don't allow him to gaslight you into thinking you are the problem.
Oh i know he is gaslighting me because he has been caught, he probably never knew I would see that comment .
OP posts:
RoyKentsChestHair · 17/02/2022 00:43

Unprofessional and disrespectful to you as well as her. Dickhead. If you comment it will probably just be turned around that your some crazy stalker so I’d just keep the conversation between you and him. Tell him that he’s crossed a line - he needs to delete his inappropriate comment or fuck off. But tbh if you’re also worrying that his overtime is maybe not what it seems you have bigger problems than this comment Flowers

mylifesucks1 · 17/02/2022 00:44

@RobertSmithsLipstick

Ah, so you think he being "in a reationship" might be a red herring?
Hmmm I'm not sure I think he's just said that because I have seen the comment .
OP posts:
Sonaftersonafterson · 17/02/2022 00:44

Woah. Not only really cringe and inappropriate for a married man but its public too, so makes you look like a mug. I'd be beyond fucking furious AND I would bet this is the tip of the iceberg.....

RoyKentsChestHair · 17/02/2022 00:44

Interesting that he thinks her relationship should be taken into consideration here, whereas apparently his doesn’t matter Angry

mylifesucks1 · 17/02/2022 00:46

@RoyKentsChestHair

Unprofessional and disrespectful to you as well as her. Dickhead. If you comment it will probably just be turned around that your some crazy stalker so I’d just keep the conversation between you and him. Tell him that he’s crossed a line - he needs to delete his inappropriate comment or fuck off. But tbh if you’re also worrying that his overtime is maybe not what it seems you have bigger problems than this comment Flowers
But I think she has liked his comment, maybe I'm reading into things. I'm just so tempted to write something just to embarrass him. But not going to lie I do feel slightly embarrassed because I know who she is.
OP posts:
mylifesucks1 · 17/02/2022 00:47

@Sonaftersonafterson

Woah. Not only really cringe and inappropriate for a married man but its public too, so makes you look like a mug. I'd be beyond fucking furious AND I would bet this is the tip of the iceberg.....
Exactly I'm slightly embarrassed about this with knowing who she is. And I swear she knows he is married!
OP posts:
Suzyinthesummertime · 17/02/2022 01:20

Very disrespectful, I wouldn't be happy. At all.

mylifesucks1 · 17/02/2022 01:26

@Suzyinthesummertime

Very disrespectful, I wouldn't be happy. At all.
Yeah! I'm really not. I think it stings more because he never calls me stunning or beautiful or anything like that & he goes and call his manager that & she likes the comment!
OP posts:
MsDogLady · 17/02/2022 01:29

‘Incredibly stunning’? I would be livid, and my trust and respect for him would be plummeting.

He has publicly made a fool of you by drooling over her, not to mention it being ‘incredibly’ unprofessional. The fact that he is dismissing your feelings and using her relationship as a cover speaks volumes.

OP, if he is complimenting her looks on her SM and she is liking it, you can bet that this flirty dynamic is also going on at work. I wouldn’t stay with this kind of faithless man, but if you do, you’d be wise to set some very sharp, effective consequences.

mylifesucks1 · 17/02/2022 01:38

@MsDogLady

‘Incredibly stunning’? I would be livid, and my trust and respect for him would be plummeting.

He has publicly made a fool of you by drooling over her, not to mention it being ‘incredibly’ unprofessional. The fact that he is dismissing your feelings and using her relationship as a cover speaks volumes.

OP, if he is complimenting her looks on her SM and she is liking it, you can bet that this flirty dynamic is also going on at work. I wouldn’t stay with this kind of faithless man, but if you do, you’d be wise to set some very sharp, effective consequences.

This is why it makes me want to comment something just to embarrass him like he has done me.
OP posts:
Onthedunes · 17/02/2022 01:54

Dreadful behaviour.

Insensitive you having to see him fawning over her and others being able to see it. Humiliating and so disrespectful.

Is he a 'joker' type of bloke that thinks he's funny and has banter ?
Will he hide behind his cheeky chappy image ?

It's really not funny.

Rickrollme · 17/02/2022 02:29

Do not engage publicly on her page. He’s the one being a jerk but airing your dirty laundry on someone else’s comments is really cringey and drama seeking.