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Original poster

Husband Facebook

132 replies

mylifesucks1 · 17/02/2022 00:21

So I can't even explain how I got on it, but one of the female managers at my husbands work on one of her pics on her Facebook below was a comment from my husband saying incredibly stunning.
Now to me this is out of order. Who else agrees or would be upset by this ?

OP posts:
Original poster
mylifesucks1 · 18/02/2022 06:29

@haismfh

It's really inappropriate on every level. Even if he was single and she's single, it's inappropriate and unprofessional to post a comment like that on your manager's facebook page. Then add in to the fact that he is married to you and the manager is supposedly in a relationship/married to someone else and then it's inappropriate for that reason too.
It is inappropriate yeah. I know she had one other comment from a girl at work saying stunning too.
OP posts:
Original poster
mylifesucks1 · 18/02/2022 06:31

@MsDogLady

It’s your H’s responsibility to protect his fidelity, in both good times and bad.

Perhaps you’ve been having a rough patch because he’s been investing elsewhere and has been creating distance and strife to justify himself.

What’s clear is that he prioritized pleasing this woman on Valentine’s Day. He obviously felt confident that giving her such an OTT compliment would go over well with her.

Is he still blanking you?

Yeah is is still blanking me....I've just been thinking and I'm wondering really what is he like with her at work, everything is going through my mind. To say that where everyone can see and most other people do know we are together. It is just embarrassing.
OP posts:
Original poster
mylifesucks1 · 18/02/2022 06:33

@Melkam

I would not be happy at all, especially if he doesnt use those kind of words normally....to you, the person who he is supposed to love and shower with compliments. Gosh, men can be suck ar5es.
I think that is why it's surprising to me, one I don't don't why he has added her as a freind when they were not before and two actually saying that on her picture, is this what he thinks about other women at work .
OP posts:
rainbowstardrops · 18/02/2022 07:45

I think the comment was a bit inappropriate but maybe doubt it was just a misguided moment of madness but his reaction and behaviour since, is dreadful!!! Speaks volumes I'd say ....

fuckoffImcounting · 18/02/2022 13:11

I would pack a bag for him and leave it on the doorstep for him to find when he next comes back from work. Let him know that you won't be disrespected.

Onthedunes · 18/02/2022 14:49

Why on earth would you want to walk back into work when just as you have been questioning his motives for this gushing display of compliments for her publicly, so will everyone else be questioning it too.

I would imagine all your colleagues would be talking about this, people do they love gossip and your husband has opened this up.

Not protective, not a friend and not someone who makes you feel safe.
Disloyal shithead.

Bookworm20 · 18/02/2022 15:27

Incredibly inappropriate. he must know it too by the way he is now acting.

Any decent man, even if he thinks you're over reacting, would be reassuring you and making sure you know he realises he messed up and more importantly would be FIXING it. Not ignoring you.

I really think you need to stand your ground on this one. Make him realise just how much this has hurt you. Can you go and stay with a friend for a few days, or ask him to go?

donesomethingterrible · 18/02/2022 15:57

A fair few years ago I found a comment on FB from my H - it was a pic of 2 of his former work colleagues (both beautiful ladies) and he'd written "I'd like to be in between you two there".

It made me sick. I confronted him and he blew up at me asking why I was stalking his FB (I wasn't) and said "fine then I'll stop commenting on everything if it makes you happy".

It blew over and I haven't really thought about it again until now. But it did bring up some trust issues from the past at the time.

Original poster
mylifesucks1 · 19/02/2022 10:04

Ok plot twist.... he has said to me today she is a lesbian ..and is going out with some manager above her ..
I don't buy it tbh..

OP posts:
haismfh · 19/02/2022 10:06

Ok plot twist.... he has said to me today she is a lesbian ..and is going out with some manager above her

How convenient.

Doesn't change the fact that the comment was inappropriate and that he probably fancies her.

rainbowstardrops · 19/02/2022 10:09

How convenient Wink

layladomino · 19/02/2022 10:10

This is wrong in a number of ways...
For a start, he felt comfortable saying that to her - can you imagine making that sort of a comment to a workmate? The fact he felt comfortable doing it, and she liked his comment, suggests this isn't the first time they have had this sort of conversation.
Then - how does it look to their colleagues? Do any of them care about that?
And he doesn't complement you like this? How can he say it's OK to complement other women but not his wife?
Then the gaslighting / making you out to be unreasonable.
And he doesn't care that you are upset by this.

At very best, he is treating you without care or respect.
At worst, he is cheating, lying, gaslighting
There are shades of grey on the middle, but even the best case scenario isn't good.

me4real · 19/02/2022 12:50

If she's a lesbian (or maybe bi I guess- I'm bi BTW) then that doesn't mean he's not perving on her with his comment.

In a way it makes it worse, as she maybe would be made more uncomfortable by it.

JangolinaPitt · 19/02/2022 13:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JangolinaPitt · 19/02/2022 13:20

Sorry -just asked MN to remove this as I only quoted part of the post and so it makes no sense. Was reacting to the three affairs, not the reaction -sorry!!!!!!!

haismfh · 19/02/2022 13:35

If she's a lesbian (or maybe bi I guess- I'm bi BTW) then that doesn't mean he's not perving on her with his comment

Yeah and if my lesbian friends' experiences are anything to go by, there are some men who see it as a challenge to "turn" the person and are a fucking pain in the arse.

2DogsOnMySofa · 19/02/2022 13:50

I call bullshit

Bjarnum · 19/02/2022 13:53

My DD's OH said the same thing to her when she queried his messaging a co-worker. The co-worker even backed up his story that she was a lesbian. Both of them lied - and that above everything else destroyed her. Oddly once he left DD for OW she quickly tired of him ...

lisaandalan · 19/02/2022 13:57

I'd be livid and I'd also do some more snooping, I'd not trust his as much as I have done before and my guard would definitely up that's for sure. X

girlmom21 · 19/02/2022 14:07

@mylifesucks1

Ok plot twist.... he has said to me today she is a lesbian ..and is going out with some manager above her .. I don't buy it tbh..
That doesn't make his comment appropriate - and if he thought it was a good excuse he'd have told you at the time.

I wonder if that's what she told him after his inappropriate comment so he wasn't upset by her rejection.

me4real · 19/02/2022 20:50

@haismfh Yep and some men are turned on by the idea of women with women. Envy They imagine it as like in porn or something.

Notwithittoday · 19/02/2022 21:06

Totally unacceptable. How disrespectful to you.
I saw a similar comment from a male colleague age 50+ last year on another female colleague’s bikini photo. Been with his wife 30 odd years. Two disabled children. I felt so sorry for his wife.

thegoldenone · 19/02/2022 21:34

@mylifesucks1

Ok plot twist.... he has said to me today she is a lesbian ..and is going out with some manager above her .. I don't buy it tbh..
Pleaseeeee don't fall for this !
Thewookiemustgo · 19/02/2022 22:12

I very much doubt it OP. He’d have said it straight away if it were true as it would have got him partly off the hook immediately. When they’ve had a bit of thinking time you might as well listen to archive episodes of Jackanory.

Thewookiemustgo · 19/02/2022 22:15

@me4real I’ve never met a guy who’s willing to discuss porn who didn’t like watching women with women. Not one.