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Original poster

Husband Facebook

132 replies

mylifesucks1 · 17/02/2022 00:21

So I can't even explain how I got on it, but one of the female managers at my husbands work on one of her pics on her Facebook below was a comment from my husband saying incredibly stunning.
Now to me this is out of order. Who else agrees or would be upset by this ?

OP posts:
MsDogLady · 17/02/2022 04:19

He feels entitled to pursue ego strokes from this woman. You feel mortified and angry, but don’t diminish yourself by venting on her page. He is actually doing a great job of making himself look pathetic.

His blatant disloyalty and lack of remorse show that he couldn’t care less about your feelings/boundaries. I would send him away, for a while at least. He needs to feel the loss of you and you need space to reevaluate the marriage.

autienotnaughty · 17/02/2022 04:39

You are right to be furious. Her relationship status is irrelevant, he's not single so shouldn't be posting that to other women. I would be hurt too but personally I wouldn't post on Facebook about it. It's not the other womens fault he made this comment and I wouldn't want everyone knowing my business. I'd want to see some remorse from him or at least understanding of why it was wrong. I would find it hard to reconcile otherwise.

PiperPosey · 17/02/2022 04:53

Good Lord!
He is wrong, wrong, wrong. WRONG!
Especially since he has never given YOU that comment.
You have all the right to be upset! errrrrrrrrrrrrrgh
He can think it...but to post it when he is married AND works with her?
Give me a break. It is so disrespectful to you...and now if I were you I would be wondering what is going on at work...( Whether or not she has a boyfriend is irrelevant. )
My husband said once when I asked what he was doing he said,
"I am sitting her talking to a beautiful blonde. What are you doing...?"
Let's just say that was the LAST time he ever said anything close to that! That was 20 years ago and now it is pissing me off recalling that phone call again...errrrrrgh

LewI89 · 17/02/2022 04:57

Nope nope nope nope nope.

Line crossed.

NOT okay.

Florelei · 17/02/2022 06:02

Does he also comment on his male colleagues’ photos that they are stunning? If not why not?

Original poster
mylifesucks1 · 17/02/2022 06:17

@autienotnaughty

You are right to be furious. Her relationship status is irrelevant, he's not single so shouldn't be posting that to other women. I would be hurt too but personally I wouldn't post on Facebook about it. It's not the other womens fault he made this comment and I wouldn't want everyone knowing my business. I'd want to see some remorse from him or at least understanding of why it was wrong. I would find it hard to reconcile otherwise.
Yes agreed it's not her fault but she has liked the comment. I've slept on it now and won't bother commenting and making myself look silly .
OP posts:
Original poster
mylifesucks1 · 17/02/2022 06:18

@Florelei

Does he also comment on his male colleagues’ photos that they are stunning? If not why not?
Tbh with seeing this makes me think he comments on more women's photos,guys most likely not.
OP posts:
Original poster
mylifesucks1 · 17/02/2022 06:20

@MsDogLady

He feels entitled to pursue ego strokes from this woman. You feel mortified and angry, but don’t diminish yourself by venting on her page. He is actually doing a great job of making himself look pathetic.

His blatant disloyalty and lack of remorse show that he couldn’t care less about your feelings/boundaries. I would send him away, for a while at least. He needs to feel the loss of you and you need space to reevaluate the marriage.

Yup because even if she doesn't know he's married other people that are friends with her from work do so if they have see. His comment that's embarrassing. It's just disgusting his part.
OP posts:
Original poster
mylifesucks1 · 17/02/2022 06:20

@Rickrollme

Do not engage publicly on her page. He’s the one being a jerk but airing your dirty laundry on someone else’s comments is really cringey and drama seeking.
Yup agreed. Thank you .
OP posts:
Original poster
mylifesucks1 · 17/02/2022 06:23

@PiperPosey

Good Lord! He is wrong, wrong, wrong. WRONG! Especially since he has never given YOU that comment. You have all the right to be upset! errrrrrrrrrrrrrgh He can think it...but to post it when he is married AND works with her? Give me a break. It is so disrespectful to you...and now if I were you I would be wondering what is going on at work...( Whether or not she has a boyfriend is irrelevant. ) My husband said once when I asked what he was doing he said, "I am sitting her talking to a beautiful blonde. What are you doing...?" Let's just say that was the LAST time he ever said anything close to that! That was 20 years ago and now it is pissing me off recalling that phone call again...errrrrrgh
Yup that is true it has put thoughts in my head about this girl that would of never been there if not for this comment. It's caused a big issue now. I'm glad I've seen it though and the comment he had to write of all days would be Valentine's Day!
OP posts:
AnotherSillawithanS · 17/02/2022 06:28

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mylifesucks1 · 17/02/2022 06:35

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PiperPosey · 17/02/2022 06:45

@mylifesucks1 I totally validate your having these feelings. Him doing what he did is not acceptable. ((HUGS)) to you for the pain it causes you.
@AnotherSillawithanS that wasn't a very nice comment. It is normal for spouses to be jealous at their mate for giving others attention. FB is so public so many of her (Co worker)friends saw it...OP needs support not such harsh judgement. And to bring looks into it? sigh

Original poster
mylifesucks1 · 17/02/2022 06:52

[quote PiperPosey]@mylifesucks1 I totally validate your having these feelings. Him doing what he did is not acceptable. ((HUGS)) to you for the pain it causes you.
@AnotherSillawithanS that wasn't a very nice comment. It is normal for spouses to be jealous at their mate for giving others attention. FB is so public so many of her (Co worker)friends saw it...OP needs support not such harsh judgement. And to bring looks into it? sigh[/quote]
Thank you! It's reassuring that other women would feel the same way tbh.

OP posts:
Thingsdogetbetter · 17/02/2022 07:08

She's a work colleague ffs. That's a sexual harassment suit in the making. The fact she's reacted 'positively' (from embarassment, feeling she needs to be nice or because of a flirty dynamic) doesn't mean he hadn't been completely inappropriate in the first place and could have put his job in jeopardy.

So not only is he making creepy public compliments to another woman, he's disrespecting your relationship and could have caused issues at work. He's created a minefield and is now trying to defend and make excuses. Yucky and stupid.

Woahthehorsey · 17/02/2022 07:17

This wouldn't bother me BUT DH is the kind of guy that does complement people normally, both men and women. If your partner isn't and this unusual for him then I can see why you are upset.

MsDogLady · 17/02/2022 07:28

He reached out to confirm his attraction to her on Valentine’s Day and didn’t care who saw. It sounds like he has a crush on her, and if she ‘Liked’ it, she’s not shutting it down.

What are you going to do, OP?

girlmom21 · 17/02/2022 07:31

@RobertSmithsLipstick

Ah, so you think he being "in a reationship" might be a red herring?
No. She thinks it's an out and out lie. Why do people always use the term 'red herring' without knowing what it means?
girlmom21 · 17/02/2022 07:35

OP I would explain exactly how you feel and why. Make him understand he's crossing boundaries and is making you doubt him.

Tell him if this is a dealbreaker for you and what happens if he does it again - with anyone.

Ask him how he'd feel if someone was making those comments on your pictures.

vikmc87 · 17/02/2022 07:36

This is really upsetting. I hope you are ok. To me it’s not the fact that he has complimented her, as people can but the words he has used. Those words, to me, sound like they come from a man besotted. I also believe he has gone on the defensive because he fancies her or has feelings for her.

My ex-husband reacted in a similar way when I caught him saying some very complimentary things to another woman, turns out he was having not just one but 3 affairs. He worked on projects all over the UK and essentially had a girl in every port. We argued and he tried to gaslight me but I knew his anger was due to his own guilt.

I’m not saying your husband is cheating with her but what he has done is disrespectful to you. How would he feel if you posted the same thing on the milkman’s fb to make sure you got the good milk.

MichelleScarn · 17/02/2022 07:38

It wasn't one of those auto complete comments that Facebook is doing now?

collieresponder88 · 17/02/2022 07:41

He fancies her. Very disrespectful to you and I wouldn't have it

Original poster
mylifesucks1 · 17/02/2022 07:42

@vikmc87

This is really upsetting. I hope you are ok. To me it’s not the fact that he has complimented her, as people can but the words he has used. Those words, to me, sound like they come from a man besotted. I also believe he has gone on the defensive because he fancies her or has feelings for her.

My ex-husband reacted in a similar way when I caught him saying some very complimentary things to another woman, turns out he was having not just one but 3 affairs. He worked on projects all over the UK and essentially had a girl in every port. We argued and he tried to gaslight me but I knew his anger was due to his own guilt.

I’m not saying your husband is cheating with her but what he has done is disrespectful to you. How would he feel if you posted the same thing on the milkman’s fb to make sure you got the good milk.

Oh no! I'm really sorry that happened to you. That's what people tend to do when they have been found out get defensive, and like with my husband he has turned around and said him commenting on a "picture" is no different to me saying a man is cute and apparently I'm causing "drama"... rolls eyes..
OP posts:
Original poster
mylifesucks1 · 17/02/2022 07:43

@MichelleScarn

It wasn't one of those auto complete comments that Facebook is doing now?
No is what his comment, which he has admitted and Said there is nothing wrong with it.
OP posts:
FloBot7 · 17/02/2022 07:43

I'm surprised by how many people agree with you. I wouldn't be bothered of my DH told someone they looked stunning on Facebook. For a start, it's a public forum so it's not like he's trying to hide something here. Secondly, she probably did look lovely and what's wrong with telling her? I complement men and women all the time.

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