I’ve always prided myself on having a brilliant MIL. She has 4 sons, and has always been amazing with her daughters in law. Perfect level of involved and interested (but not overbearing) and just a genuinely nice woman who I’d like if I met her in another walk of life.
Until now. DH’s brother is splitting up from his wife in very messy circumstances which include his cheating. I’ve seen the messages that prove this, and he’s admitted it to my SIL so that’s not in doubt. However MIL has completely taken his side and is even saying that SIL is “confused”, her anger is making her “irrational” etc. just full on gaslighting basically. It’s been quite awful and is making a tricky situation worse and much more of a whole family thing, as MIL has tried to tell her other children not to speak to SIL.
It’s shocked me. Not that she would prioritise supporting her own son as I know blood is thicker than water but the way in which she is doing it is so out of character. She’s always been very clear eyed when it comes to her boys flaws and has stepped in and helped this particular SIL when her husband was failing to step up after the birth of their twins. She’s not someone I would have expected this of.
She’s shot herself in the foot really because I’m currently pregnant with our first and seeing this has made it really clear to me and DH that she’s not someone who we want to be too close to our family, and now I’ve seen how quickly I’ll be slandered in the family I won’t be able to be close to her anymore. Anyway, my DH is equally unimpressed with her behaviour so that’s something. Just can’t believe I’ve finally got the classic mumsnet MIL!