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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What do men actually find attractive about women?

847 replies

kellyspark · 13/02/2022 18:10

After being divorced after a long marriage (adultery, his) I have started to cotton onto the fact that a lot of men like certain attributes about women that are quite surprising to me.
In a sporting hobby, some men have shown interest in me - flirting - but I wasn't ready for dating, so have treated them more like mates. This seems to have increased their attention, so I infer that they either like the chase, or they cannot figure out why I'm not flirting back and want to find out why I'm not.
Another thing seems to be that men don't automatically go for the most glamourous looking woman in a group. I'm still trying to figure that one out, but wondering if men worry about women being 'high maintenance' or maybe they think glam women are out of their league?

OP posts:
DillonPanthersTexas · 13/02/2022 21:19

I have seen no evidence of this . grin

Why2why · 13/02/2022 21:21

[quote wingscrow]@5128gap Oh dear, you have described a Barbie doll crossed with a 1950's house wife...FFS.[/quote]
Grin and you can strike out non-white women, who are typically not blonde.

KohlaParasaurus · 13/02/2022 21:23

I asked a single male friend what characteristics he liked in a woman. He appeared to consider the matter for a while then said, "Uh, I've always been attracted to redheads, although I've never actually dated one." I didn't expect that.

I asked my husband what attracted him to me. "The first time I met you, I really liked that your children were running around making a lot of noise and you didn't tell them off like most parents would," he said. I expected that even less.

From observing other people's successful relationships, I suspect there are as many answers to that question as there are men who are attracted to women.

Gardeningcreature · 13/02/2022 21:26

I agree they like long blonde hair and a traditionally feminine figure.
Whenever I’ve watched Take Me Out ( I know) 9 times out of 10 the men will pick someone with long blonde hair. Sometimes they pick someone with long brown hair but they are always very glamorous and thin.

CrimbleCrumble1 · 13/02/2022 21:28

Same as on the ‘Dinner Date’ show, the men always pick the prettiest woman even if they didn’t get on with them.

Katie2017 · 13/02/2022 21:30

Not sure but my friend was apparently getting too much attention from men blonde so she dyed her hair blonde Hmm wish I had that problem! Maybe I should go blonde...

Katie2017 · 13/02/2022 21:31

*Dyed her hair brown that should say!

AnyFucker · 13/02/2022 21:33

^Men are out there having sex with vacuum cleaners.

Don't waste your precious energy wondering what men find attractive in women. It's a fruitless task^

Brilliant

BobLemon · 13/02/2022 21:43

The word “think” has been used too many times. I don’t know any blokes who put such calculation into their romantic matches.

Glamping1234 · 13/02/2022 21:54

@crumpetStrumpet 🤣😂

Mistlewoeandwhine · 13/02/2022 21:55

I have three male friends who all agree that the ideal woman is petite with tiny boobs and long straight black hair. Since I’m the opposite of all these attributes, I can at least be glad that none of them secretly fancy me!

Wherearemymarbles · 13/02/2022 22:03

Men are out there having sex with vacuum cleaners.….

Well Considering how many women own a womaniser/satisfyer pro I am not sure you can pin that on just men… :)

Dibbydoos · 13/02/2022 22:07

@DillonPanthersTexas

Another thing seems to be that men don't automatically go for the most glamourous looking woman in a group. I'm still trying to figure that one out, but wondering

It's almost like some men value things like humour, intelligence, shared values and interests rather then just how big a woman's tits are or how 'glamorous' she is.

But some women have both!

What I've been told by male friends is that they worry they'll get turned down if they ask the prettiest woman out.

For ONS, what they look fir is a quickie. For a partner, look for values similar to those valued by women. Of course there are men and women who only go for looks....

DillonPanthersTexas · 13/02/2022 22:44

What I've been told by male friends is that they worry they'll get turned down if they ask the prettiest woman out.

Absolutely there is an element of lack of confidence with many men who just assume the attractive woman in the room is either attached or will not be interested in 'Mr Average'.

SarahBellam · 13/02/2022 22:54

@hotpinkkettle

Tits, mainly

A misconception many women seem to labour under.

Nah, it’s mostly tits.
DatingDinosaur · 13/02/2022 22:54

Just asked my mate what he finds attractive in a woman. His answer…

“Anyone with a pulse”

So there you have it.

He did go on to say that he’s attracted to personality. Then ruined that by saying “if its wrapped up in a curvy blonde with big tits”.

He’s been single for a while Hmm Biscuit

Stravaig · 13/02/2022 23:01

This thread is confirming that I may never have sex again. Where on earth do you find someone whose sexual tastes and sexual responses haven't been warped by porn?

CrumpetStrumpet · 13/02/2022 23:14

@Milomonster Always happy to helpGrin

AdoptedBumpkin · 13/02/2022 23:18

@DillonPanthersTexas

“Men” includes (has included) Beckham, Einstein, Graham Norton, Geoff Capes, Putin, Michael McIntyre, Van Gogh, Ant and Dec, Michael Palin, Pavarotti, Neil Armstrong, the bloke from the fish and chip shop, … you get the idea

What an awesome dinner party that would be!

Wink It would be utterly and wonderfully bizarre.
AdoptedBumpkin · 13/02/2022 23:20
  • Grin
greasyshoes · 13/02/2022 23:22

Another thing seems to be that men don't automatically go for the most glamourous looking woman in a group. I'm still trying to figure that one out, but wondering if men worry about women being 'high maintenance' or maybe they think glam women are out of their league?

Well different people are attracted to different people. You may think woman A is glamarous and beautiful, but a man may think woman B is beautiful instead.

MrsSkylerWhite · 13/02/2022 23:24

I think both sexes are drawn to people who are comfortable in their own skin, who embrace life with a (genuine) smile on their face.
There’s something very attractive about a happy person,

dipdye · 13/02/2022 23:26

Hmm, let's see

Pretty
Slim
Young
Not too opinionated
Not too loud
They seem to like curly hair, or long at least

Palmfrond · 13/02/2022 23:48

On first impressions an animated face is quite a turn on. Perhaps I’m a bit weird though.
Also what men think of as an attractive women and what women think of as an attractive woman are often, in my experience, comically different.

Notsuchaniceguy · 14/02/2022 01:38

As I've got a lot older and a little more self aware in understanding my fucked up attachment style and nasty little narcissist traits, I realise that what I find attractive (and always did but was too insecure and afraid of to pursue, instead trying to rescue people to boost my insecure ego) is someone who makes me laugh, who likes me but doesn't need me and can have a deep interest, a passion, in what they value and enjoy.

Physically I don't have a strong preference. I can be surprised at times by this as attraction for me grows from noticing qualities, more so than some instant chemistry thing. Although that did happen once (entirely unrequited and years of miserable limerence for me).