Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating someone shorter than you?

193 replies

oopsmoment · 13/02/2022 15:01

All my ex's have mostly been 5'11 to over 6ft (I'm 5'8) I've just started dating someone and he's reasonable looking but he's only about my height, maybe slightly shorter. If I wear boots with slight heels I'm definitely taller than him.
Would this give you the ick? Or not bother you?
Any of you have DPs/DHs shorter than you?
Thank you.

OP posts:
user1481840227 · 16/02/2022 17:37

@Rivermonsters

Height doesn’t matter to me. Unfair to judge someone based on something they can’t change. For example, Nicolas Sarkozy is 5”4 but he is so gosh darn handsome and Grin dripping with sex appeal
But people are often judged on things they cannot change, it's not just physical attributes, People are judged based on intelligence, lack of wit etc.

Men being funny are often highly valued, but it's just luck to be born funny!

We are all different. I didn't know Sarkozy was only 5"4 but I don't see one bit of sex appeal in him and I don't consider him to be handsome!

Rivermonsters · 16/02/2022 17:39

@user1481840227 fair enough, but from what I see (my own personal experience), that men are more ‘picked on’ because of their height

user1481840227 · 16/02/2022 17:42

@Rivermonsters

Picked on by men or women?

Rivermonsters · 16/02/2022 17:43

@user1481840227 woman

Rivermonsters · 16/02/2022 17:43

@user1481840227 women ** ffs phone

Therunecaster · 16/02/2022 17:44

I'm about 2 inches taller than DP. He is the perfect little spoon and I love him to bits.

Katie2017 · 16/02/2022 17:57

@user1481840227 ok thanks for elaborating. I can't be bothered to go through the whole thread again but has anyone berated women on here? I don't think anyone has said women have to date short men or anything! I think the main theme of the thread now is if it's shallow or not which we can't seem to agree on.

I agree about online dating, I've had some guys start insulting me on there when I was on it a few years ago-thinking back I DID have to tell someone he wasn't my type and I completely forgot about that! He had a more "alternative" look (lots of piercings and tats) and I do have a preference myself for the clean cut look but in that case his looks kind of reflected his personality and for one thing I didn't think we'd have much in common. I wouldn't have told him the reason but he was kinda badgering me to meet up and getting a bit angry so I had to just tell him he wasn't my type-didn't feel good. Just to say more about preferences-even though I PREFER the clean cut look, I was still talking to this guy and not ruling him out, it was only when he was getting a bit insistent I decided to stop talking to him.

That's interesting about that study I've not heard that before (only the "short man syndrome" that is a belief held by some) I'd love to know more about this study.

boaroff · 16/02/2022 19:12

[quote user1481840227]@Katie2017
Nothing to do with height. It's to do with how women are berated or made to feel guilty when they have a preference for something. It doesn't matter what the preference is.

My point being that we are forced to put up with a lot of shit because society hasn't deemed it unacceptable enough yet...we are still conditioned to put up with a lot of shit and to be good and not cause a fuss......but if we do express a preference we have for men we are told we are wrong and should have to give everyone equal opportunities to date us!! F**k that!

Also I said I'm sure that most of us have already got some abuse at one point or another from men because we don't fancy them so they say we must be "stuck up" etc.

I'm in Ireland and "got abuse" "give abuse" etc. are figures of speech over here when someone directs anger at you when you haven't really done anything.

It's not confused with real abuse and everyone here knows what we mean, I wasn't thinking that it's probably not used in the UK so I didn't mean to cause a mix up!

Also I didn't elaborate but it's not simply being called stuck up, men get visibly angry and try to intimidate women as they call them stuck up or similar...or the one and only time I went on POF I got a barrage of messages from angry men when I didn't reply...."Hi sexy"..."Hi?".."You're very stuck up" "Stuck up bitch"..."You probably think you're better than everyone else"...escalates quite rapidly and it's happened to friends too. I couldn't delete my POF account quickly enough but it wouldn't let me for 24 hours!

I also disagree that it's shallow. I have lots of in-depth reasons about why I like it lol[/quote]
That's awful. Can't you block the people on the dating site?

It doesn't surprise at all. The same thing happens in everyday life of course. Men who won't get the message that their attempts at contact are unwanted and inappropriate. The worst place for it is on the train, and in the station, on my commute (no longer daily thank goodness).

5128gap · 16/02/2022 19:18

I have little time to join a pity party for short men. Height in men is to a large extent valued due to patriarchal ideas of masculinity and femininity. Men need to be strong and powerful ergo tall, women weak and less powerful and smaller than the man. I didn't make the rules and beliefs that perpetuate patriarchy and I don't benefit from them. In that regard short men get a better deal than I do. So if I'm going to be standing up for undervalued groups, they will need to get in line.

Rivermonsters · 16/02/2022 20:24

@5128gap there is no ‘patriarchy’ in modern western society

BertramLacey · 16/02/2022 20:50

I think it depends on why you're turning them down. If you're just not attracted to someone shorter than you, you're not, and that's it. I'm not attracted to overweight men. They just do not do it for me. It might make me shallow and I might be missing out on some great men, but the chemistry isn't there so it isn't happening.

But if you're worried about what people think or just wonder if it's odd, then I'd say give it a go. Stop worrying about it. As long as the attraction is there for you, what other people thing is irrelevant. My partner is about the same height as me. I love this. I love the parity it brings. I've dated someone a lot shorter than me and he was also lovely. I've dated taller men and coincidentally they've been wankers. I mean it's just correlation not causation but it does show what's important for a lasting relationship. I have a partner who views me as an equal and we find each other attractive. The fact I'm a bit taller than him when I'm in heels is irrelevant.

5128gap · 16/02/2022 20:59

[quote Rivermonsters]@5128gap there is no ‘patriarchy’ in modern western society[/quote]
No women prefer tall men.
Your go!

Anothergreatday · 16/02/2022 21:19

[quote Rivermonsters]@5128gap there is no ‘patriarchy’ in modern western society[/quote]
Lol this one had me spilling my coffee laughing so hard

boaroff · 16/02/2022 21:21

And the response @Anothergreatday 🤣

Rivermonsters
@5128gap there is no ‘patriarchy’ in modern western society
No women prefer tall men.
Your go!

Rivermonsters · 16/02/2022 22:10

@Anothergreatday so you honestly think you’re oppressed as a woman in modern day Britain Hmm

Rivermonsters · 16/02/2022 22:12

As 5128gap states,” Men need to be strong and powerful ergo tall, women weak and less powerful and smaller than the man.” can be debunked by basic biology

cherrysthename · 16/02/2022 22:13

Pmsl @Rivermonsters what a comedian!

LimeSupper · 17/02/2022 14:34

There’s no attraction for me to a short man. 6ft is the absolute minimum I would consider but I’ve always dated taller than that in reality. I don’t measure men before I date them and I’ve never done online dating, I’ve always just found chemistry and sparks flying with tall men because that’s who I fancy. Couldn’t care less if people think it’s shallow to have sexual preferences 🤣 plenty of men are attracted to me and plenty won’t be at all - that’s all fine by me!

amusedbush · 17/02/2022 15:00

I'm 5' 4 and have only dated men 5' 11 to 6' 5, with one exception. He claimed to be 5' 6 but he was actually a smidge shorter than me. We dated for a few months but I never really got over how small he was, both in height and slimness - he was short and really thin, which made me feel really dumpy and ungainly in comparison.

Jasmine5552 · 17/02/2022 15:18

@oopsmoment

All my ex's have mostly been 5'11 to over 6ft (I'm 5'8) I've just started dating someone and he's reasonable looking but he's only about my height, maybe slightly shorter. If I wear boots with slight heels I'm definitely taller than him. Would this give you the ick? Or not bother you? Any of you have DPs/DHs shorter than you? Thank you.
Mine is 5 foot 6 and a half and I am 5 foot 7. It doesn't bother me. I have never dated a tall man. It's just the way things have worked out.
Fireandflames666 · 17/02/2022 18:52

My ex was is 6ft 2 and a cockwomble, my partner of three years is an inch shorter than me but he's the nicest and funniest person I've ever met, lol.

Definitely don't let shorter men give you the ick.

HerbertChops · 17/02/2022 18:55

I’ve never dated someone shorter than me but then I’m 5’1” so very rare to find a man shorter than that!! Shortest I’ve dated was 5’7”, tallest 6’2”, my dh is 5’11”. I wasn’t that keen on the 5’7” as with heels I was almost as tall as him (5’5” easily in heels)

Garysmum · 17/02/2022 19:50

@amusedbush

I'm 5' 4 and have only dated men 5' 11 to 6' 5, with one exception. He claimed to be 5' 6 but he was actually a smidge shorter than me. We dated for a few months but I never really got over how small he was, both in height and slimness - he was short and really thin, which made me feel really dumpy and ungainly in comparison.
I'm calling unfair!

At 5'10 even if I want man the same height as me there is a limited pool. I am so jealous of your height. I would love to be 5'4 for so many reasons and this is one.

Weirdly I find shorter men are attracted to me and all the tall ones are attracted to petite women. I can cite so many examples of this including a male friend at 6'11 all of whose girlfriends were under 5'2.

Sunnytwobridges · 17/02/2022 21:06

I'm not attracted to short men because I'm 5'6.5, but I'm not attracted to super tall men either. I actually prefer men that are only a couple of inches taller than me.

Also I'm built like a linebacker (wide shoulders, big bones, stocky) lol So the only way I could do short is if he was built like me, so if he was slim I would feel really awkward. I did date someone that was my height and weighted 50lbs less than me and was small framed and it always bothered me and made me feel insecure. However I have a male friend that is shorter than me but built like a tank and I never felt that much taller than him.

Katie2017 · 17/02/2022 21:27

@LimeSupper

There’s no attraction for me to a short man. 6ft is the absolute minimum I would consider but I’ve always dated taller than that in reality. I don’t measure men before I date them and I’ve never done online dating, I’ve always just found chemistry and sparks flying with tall men because that’s who I fancy. Couldn’t care less if people think it’s shallow to have sexual preferences 🤣 plenty of men are attracted to me and plenty won’t be at all - that’s all fine by me!
Do you not struggle dating though? Or do you live somewhere where there are more taller than average men? I think less than 50% of men are 6ft and over, average height is something like 5'9? Add in the fact that most other women are looking for tall guys too seems like there wouldn't be enough to go around? It's hard enough to find a single guy as it is so I'm really intrigued where all these "plenty of men" are (not that I care personally, not bothered about height in the slightest).