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Original poster

Dating someone shorter than you?

193 replies

oopsmoment · 13/02/2022 15:01

All my ex's have mostly been 5'11 to over 6ft (I'm 5'8) I've just started dating someone and he's reasonable looking but he's only about my height, maybe slightly shorter. If I wear boots with slight heels I'm definitely taller than him.
Would this give you the ick? Or not bother you?
Any of you have DPs/DHs shorter than you?
Thank you.

OP posts:

roastedsaltedpeanut · 16/02/2022 06:14

I only dated taller when I was younger as I felt that what it is supposed to be. In hindsight I hated being towered over constantly. I get neck pain for always having crank my neck for kisses. I hated having to look up constantly just to have eye contact. We could never quite walk at the same pace because their strides are so much longer. Fighting for duvet as they are so much bigger and requires so much more.
These smaller incompatibility really irritated me.

Now my DH is essentially the same height and I am much happier 😆 I still prefer to wear killer heels on night outs but i tower over everyone when I do so he doesn’t feel too bad.

ravenmum · 16/02/2022 08:43

@Hollyhocksarenotmessy It's not about reasoning. It's about what you fancy. If a man does not fancy my flat chest, why on earth would I want to be with him? Ugh.

Anothergreatday · 16/02/2022 08:50

@Hollyhocksarenotmessy

I think it's really shallow and yes, of course everyone has their turn-ons, but it's no different to a man saying he'd only consider a woman with D cup plus breasts. Does that sound reasonable to those insisting on a certain height?

Plenty of men will only date younger women or thin women etc Why are women not allowed preferences ?

boaroff · 16/02/2022 09:43

"Plenty of men will only date younger women or thin women etc
Why are women not allowed preferences ?"

True. I make no apologies for having minimum physical preferences (men certainly do, after all). That would be taller than me, not very overweight, bald, facial hair etc

SnakeLinguine · 16/02/2022 09:46

Doesn't bother me in the slightest. The guy I ditched for DH (who is a couple of inches shorter than I am) was 6 ft 2, rich and bored me senseless.

Fieldsville · 16/02/2022 10:40

It wouldn't give me the ick nor would it bother me. Height is irrelevant. There's always a step-ladder if I want to change a light bulb.

LaBellina · 16/02/2022 10:45

I have mostly dated men taller then me but once dated a guy who was actually 7 cm shorter then me. I never saw it as an issue and neither did he. Height shouldn’t be an issue if everything else is right for you.

BillMasen · 16/02/2022 10:52

@Derelicthome

I once kissed a man shorter than me. As I learnt down to kiss him my hair fell forward and went into my mouth.

Not picking on this post particularly but it does highlight a difference between threads on mens preferences, and womens.

On this thread, preferences are fine, I totally agree. What does tend to happen though is that shorter blokes become a figure of fun. They’re laughed at for not being manly, they are seen as a joke by some posters. You could never imagine the same fun being poked at say flat chested women for example.

As a shorter (5’6”) bloke, preferences are fine. Some people would never consider me purely on height. Not a problem. However, it’s not reasonable to laugh at it

ravenmum · 16/02/2022 11:02

You could never imagine the same fun being poked at say flat chested women for example
Again - no need to IMAGINE it, hear it all the bloody time, thanks.

ravenmum · 16/02/2022 11:04

Women are not saints. Women can be just as dickish as men. Women make fun of short men, just as men make fun of flat-chested women.
Call us out for being dicks. Don't make it a male/female difference. Don't act as if women should be saints. Thanks.

BestIsWest · 16/02/2022 11:06

DH is 1/2 inch shorter than me at 5’9. I can honestly say it has never made the slightest difference to either of us.

boaroff · 16/02/2022 11:08

I don't think the quoted post does make fun of the shorter man, rather derelicthome's mortification at what happened. At least that's how I read it.

Stripperyone · 16/02/2022 11:12

I've got a rule that if I can't look up at them while wearing heels it's a no

I'm gay though. And obviously most women aren't as tall as most men.
Luckily I'm 5'2 so it isn't usually an issue :)

BillMasen · 16/02/2022 11:58

@boaroff

I don't think the quoted post does make fun of the shorter man, rather derelicthome's mortification at what happened. At least that's how I read it.

Probably, but I used it to start a tangential conversation as it made me think of posts that were intended to poke fun. Not the best quote I admit

BillMasen · 16/02/2022 12:03

@ravenmum

You could never imagine the same fun being poked at say flat chested women for example Again - no need to IMAGINE it, hear it all the bloody time, thanks.

I meant on mumsnet. Clearly it happens in real life unfortunately, as does the short bloke piss taking

I meant that it can been seen as ok on this site to laugh at shorter blokes but anyone laughing at flat chested women wouldn’t be tolerated.

ravenmum · 16/02/2022 12:09

@BillMasen You are on this site and didn't tolerate it.
This is a female-dominated site. Male-dominated sites have the opposite bias. Men and women can both be dicks.

BillMasen · 16/02/2022 12:11

[quote ravenmum]@BillMasen You are on this site and didn't tolerate it.
This is a female-dominated site. Male-dominated sites have the opposite bias. Men and women can both be dicks.[/quote]
Agreed

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 16/02/2022 12:24

I'm 5'8 barefoot. I did it once. He was sat down when we met, then I was too drunk to notice and he was charming (to start with), rich and Italian. Let's say he put me off repeating the experience.

My preference in men is at least 5'11. I also don't like beards, men with long hair or men who are grossly overweight.

5128gap · 16/02/2022 12:49

@boaroff

"Plenty of men will only date younger women or thin women etc Why are women not allowed preferences ?"

True. I make no apologies for having minimum physical preferences (men certainly do, after all). That would be taller than me, not very overweight, bald, facial hair etc

I agree with this. Plenty of studies, and my own experience, show that m/f relationships bring significantly greater benefits to the man. If women are going to put up with all their nonsense, and the faff and inconvenience they entail, we may just as well have one who at least is easy on the eye.

user1481840227 · 16/02/2022 14:39

Yeh it's definitely a big thing online-loads of women who won't even date anyone under 6ft. I'm not surprised your friend found it depressing to be ruled out by so many women on something he can't do anything about. Can imagine the outrage if men suddenly decided in their masses they won't date anyone over or under a certain height and suddenly women were getting ignored left right and centre.

Well as women I'm sure that most of us have already got some abuse at one point or another from men because we don't fancy them so they say we must be "stuck up" etc.

Many of us have also suffered from unwanted sexual touching, sexual assault, rape etc. from men who felt entitled to our bodies.

If women have a preference for who they are attracted to, who they want to date and who they want to sleep and just who they want in general then good for them, as women in general have often had to deal with plenty of men that they didn't want!!

Hrpuffnstuff1 · 16/02/2022 16:08

@BillMasen
Why does it bother you that people comment on your height?

My friend is 5ft6 ish and he's never had a problem attracting women.

I'm 5ft 8, my wife is 6ft in heels, I couldn't give a shit, in fact, I dated a woman who was 5ft10 and goodness knows what in heels.

I think the problem is some people lack confidence for numerous reasons.

Katie2017 · 16/02/2022 16:25

@user1481840227 er what has any of that got to do with height? Does everything have to end up with how men are abusers and what women have had to put up with? I'm a woman I've never had any of that from men, yes it apparently seems I've been lucky but we are not talking about that subject in this thread-there are others for that. I'm very sorry if you and a lot of other women have suffered all of those things you list but it has got nothing to do with women not wanting to date short men, unless you think they are more likely to be abusers or something? Also saying someone is "stuck up" isn't abuse, it's unpleasant but not everything is abuse! Nice way to shut the thread down though, it was going pretty well I thought until then.

You can have your preferences (although I'm not sure ONLY considering men over 6ft is technically a preference) it is shallow though. I would say the same thing if a man put on his dating profile "no women over size 12". Men can be shallow too, however I think women and height is the one thing that is overwhelmingly a thing I've noticed and come across and heard from my mother and grandmother growing up. I have my mother to thank for my size 8 feet because she wouldn't marry a shorter guy!

user1481840227 · 16/02/2022 17:14

@Katie2017
Nothing to do with height. It's to do with how women are berated or made to feel guilty when they have a preference for something. It doesn't matter what the preference is.

My point being that we are forced to put up with a lot of shit because society hasn't deemed it unacceptable enough yet...we are still conditioned to put up with a lot of shit and to be good and not cause a fuss......but if we do express a preference we have for men we are told we are wrong and should have to give everyone equal opportunities to date us!! F**k that!

Also I said I'm sure that most of us have already got some abuse at one point or another from men because we don't fancy them so they say we must be "stuck up" etc.

I'm in Ireland and "got abuse" "give abuse" etc. are figures of speech over here when someone directs anger at you when you haven't really done anything.

It's not confused with real abuse and everyone here knows what we mean, I wasn't thinking that it's probably not used in the UK so I didn't mean to cause a mix up!

Also I didn't elaborate but it's not simply being called stuck up, men get visibly angry and try to intimidate women as they call them stuck up or similar...or the one and only time I went on POF I got a barrage of messages from angry men when I didn't reply...."Hi sexy"..."Hi?".."You're very stuck up" "Stuck up bitch"..."You probably think you're better than everyone else"...escalates quite rapidly and it's happened to friends too. I couldn't delete my POF account quickly enough but it wouldn't let me for 24 hours!

I also disagree that it's shallow. I have lots of in-depth reasons about why I like it lol

user1481840227 · 16/02/2022 17:26

@Katie2017
Also just to add, there actually are studies which say that short men are more likely to be aggressive and angry.

Rivermonsters · 16/02/2022 17:28

Height doesn’t matter to me. Unfair to judge someone based on something they can’t change. For example, Nicolas Sarkozy is 5”4 but he is so gosh darn handsome and dripping with sex appeal

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