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Original poster

Dating someone shorter than you?

193 replies

oopsmoment · 13/02/2022 15:01

All my ex's have mostly been 5'11 to over 6ft (I'm 5'8) I've just started dating someone and he's reasonable looking but he's only about my height, maybe slightly shorter. If I wear boots with slight heels I'm definitely taller than him.
Would this give you the ick? Or not bother you?
Any of you have DPs/DHs shorter than you?
Thank you.

OP posts:
StarlightLady · 14/02/2022 09:26

No probs with this at all. It’s all the same on the vertical!

ravenmum · 14/02/2022 10:15

@roolz

I'm sorry I have to die on this hill It's still a few inches, shorter than the average man, nobody is eyeing a woman of 5'8 (it's fairly standard height), nor would you need to really buy extra long clothes

You don't have to be exactly 5'4, it's a range that is average. Subjective, but still a range. If the mean salary is £30k and you earn £31k technically it's above average but you wouldn't say your a high earner 🤷🏻‍♀️

If it's subjective, why would you die on that hill? Wages can be in the hundreds of thousands a year. There's a very wide range. But the height range for women is much more restricted. Your example with earning 31K is more like if I was 5'4½ and claiming to be tall. You're welcome to think that I'm average, obviously, but as everyone else I have ever met has described me as tall, and I'm 5 inches above average height, then I will continue to describe myself as relatively tall. You can't expect me to agree that I'm not, as if it was a fact you've proven, just because you're taller 😂
RedCandyApple · 14/02/2022 10:37

I was saying as a general thing that I think men prefer petite of course not all men! Just as a general thing. Let’s not act like men don’t have dating preferences I actually think men have more than women!

QuarterFord · 14/02/2022 10:45

@DillonPanthersTexas

An awful lot of women's dating profiles explicitly state a minimum height requirement. My short friend found it very depressing.
But don't some men make similar stipulations, but relating to size rather than height?

I haven't looked at any of the dating sites so don't know the truth of that, but one friend says she adds dress size to her profile to avoid being asked that in the chat.

DillonPanthersTexas · 14/02/2022 10:59

But don't some men make similar stipulations, but relating to size rather than height?

Possibly, I did not see any men's profiles that specifically stated something like 'no women above a size 14' or similar. It was usually an indirect reference like 'I am a very sporty person and would like to meet someone similar' or I guess they just ticked the slender/athletic box in the search filter.

I read many women's profiles that specifically mentioned a potential date being above a certain height or having hair on their head! Nothing wrong with stating your preference but it just illustrates that women can be just as fussy as men when it comes to the physical appearance of the people they date.

ravenmum · 14/02/2022 11:54

I am relatively slim, and several men on OLD told me they rejected bigger women. As if I would find it a compliment or something, not a massive turn-off.

RedCandyApple · 14/02/2022 11:57

I do agree about the size thing rather than height, my sister who is a size 10 joined old and posted a full length body pic of her and she said all she got was men “congratulating” her on being slim and many men would tell her that women put only face pictures up to hide how big they are so it was refreshing to see someone who was actually slim.

TheRealityCheque · 14/02/2022 11:58

Ruling out guys based on a physical characteristic is so unbelievably shallow.

Imagine a thread where a load of blokes talk about what size breasts a woman should have to be acceptable to date.

Lpc3 · 14/02/2022 12:14

I've always dated women around a foot shorter and they all said how much they loved the height difference, makes them feel protective etc (despite me bring the least likely person to get into an altercation 😄).

The practicalities of such a height difference isn't always so positive though - some sex positions can be awkward. Even hugging can be a bit weird.

Unfortunately finding tall and broad shouldered men attractive is just hardwired into women, deep in the lizard part of the brain. Similar for men with waist to hip ratios and full breasts etc

ravenmum · 14/02/2022 12:14

@TheRealityCheque

Ruling out guys based on a physical characteristic is so unbelievably shallow.

Imagine a thread where a load of blokes talk about what size breasts a woman should have to be acceptable to date.

I don't think we have to imagine it. Could probably just google it.
SarahJessicaPorker · 14/02/2022 12:21

@TheRealityCheque

Ruling out guys based on a physical characteristic is so unbelievably shallow.

Imagine a thread where a load of blokes talk about what size breasts a woman should have to be acceptable to date.

I agree with your first sentence, but physical attraction can be shallow and you like what you like. And anyway, sorry to bring up another thread, but weren't you just saying women should all chill and let their partners go to strip clubs? Do I sense a "poor menz" / MRA theme maybe?
RedCandyApple · 14/02/2022 12:21

@TheRealityCheque

Ruling out guys based on a physical characteristic is so unbelievably shallow.

Imagine a thread where a load of blokes talk about what size breasts a woman should have to be acceptable to date.

Oh men DO discuss that
Classica · 14/02/2022 12:25

@TheRealityCheque

Ruling out guys based on a physical characteristic is so unbelievably shallow.

Imagine a thread where a load of blokes talk about what size breasts a woman should have to be acceptable to date.

Oh give me strength.

I would hate if someone went out with me despite not being physically attracted to me. I'm not looking for anyone's charity!

And as for your 'imagine men discussing this' scenario. All I can say is bless your innocent heart.

5128gap · 14/02/2022 12:27

@TheRealityCheque

Ruling out guys based on a physical characteristic is so unbelievably shallow.

Imagine a thread where a load of blokes talk about what size breasts a woman should have to be acceptable to date.

Thats as may be. But I'm not going to date any man who wants me to, regardless of whether I find him attractive or not, just so short men don't miss out.
Phos · 14/02/2022 12:29

It bothered me. There's only been the one.

I'm 5'3" barefoot though.

Flyinggeese1234 · 14/02/2022 12:40

@roolz

Katie, I'm afraid 5'8 isn't tall, it's a few inches above average. Garr it grinds my gears, sorry. If that's tall, the rest of us above that must be giants then. It's a pretty standard height

Sorry for being pedantic🙈

Hmm I feel pedantic now too, but the average height for a woman in the UK is 5’ 4”. 5’ 8” is tall, isn’t it?

I’m 5’ 4 and would definitely say 5’8 is tall.

FatLabrador · 14/02/2022 12:40

Well i am only 5'0 and my dh is a lot taller than me so perhaps this is not a fair comment but if we did split up and I was single again, I would not be making height a deal breaker. If Danny de Vito were 30 years younger I would date him any time.

Jennyguin · 14/02/2022 12:50

Agree @Flyinggeese1234 that 5'8 is tall. It's a good four inches above the national average height! If I recall correctly 5'7/8 was the minimum height requirement for model agencies, so I always considered that tall.

gannett · 14/02/2022 13:05

Height isn't something I really notice or care about in a man. But then it's evident that a lot of women who do care about height don't care about facial good looks or toned bodies as much as I do. So horses for courses.

Obviously no one should date anyone they're not attracted to for whatever reason but equating a tall partner with "feeling protected" is bizarre to me, and if it's less about your attraction and more about your insecurities (not feeling petite or worrying what others will think) then you should have a word with yourself.

Lpc3 · 14/02/2022 13:45

@gannett it's hard wired, not a conscious decision.

Minfilia · 14/02/2022 13:49

Gives me the ick, sorry!

I briefly dated a model who was also a thoroughly lovely bloke, I just couldn’t get past the fact that a) I was taller than him and b) he ate like a sodding flea, and I love my food!

DH is the same height as me but I never wear heels with him. Always flats.

Katie2017 · 14/02/2022 15:32

@DillonPanthersTexas

An awful lot of women's dating profiles explicitly state a minimum height requirement. My short friend found it very depressing.
Yeh it's definitely a big thing online-loads of women who won't even date anyone under 6ft. I'm not surprised your friend found it depressing to be ruled out by so many women on something he can't do anything about. Can imagine the outrage if men suddenly decided in their masses they won't date anyone over or under a certain height and suddenly women were getting ignored left right and centre.

I grew up with comments from my mum like "he's really nice looking, pity he's short"-I'd be like "er...so?" Never understood where women admit they find a guy attractive but because he's short they don't find him attractive (even though they do?!)

Nowomenaroundeh · 14/02/2022 15:37

It doesn't bother me at all.

Classica · 14/02/2022 15:38

Can imagine the outrage if men suddenly decided in their masses they won't date anyone over or under a certain height and suddenly women were getting ignored left right and centre.

Baffled by these people who think men somehow don't also have these kinds of criteria?

Have they met men??

CounsellorTroi · 14/02/2022 15:39

Men’s height has never mattered to me. Much more important that they are nice. Then again, I’m 5ft 2 so most men are taller than me anyway.